Landscapes and Other Assorted Perspectives

I wanted to call this post “Molly Made me Do It” & the truth is I did decide to take the landscape photos based on an exchange of notes between us but beyond that it really was a lot of fun for me but more about that a little later.
Las Vegas Strip ant Night from the Top of Mandalay Bay
I haven’t written about it much in recent years but I get to live an amazing life even outside of my kinks.  And yes there is always demands on my time and never enough time for the fun stuff but the picture above is an example of how lucky I really am. I get to see and travel to a lot of major places and occasionally make my way off the beaten path.
 
Cherry Blossom Display in Palazzo Las Vegas
Life is most often filled with Beautiful Places and things.  All dolled up and glamorous, food for the eyes, fuel for creativity, and of course a respect for the artists that can create such displays.  This picture was taken when my fits of insomnia led me to be out and walking between two hotels though the indoor mall right at the break of day.
 
Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas
And Increasingly I find that parts of my life have begun to blend together. That serendipity,   good fortune or just plain old dumb luck seem to for the most part be working in my favor.  That random things like passing a hotel that had just earlier in the day been discussed with a friend half a world away would ironically be the way my cabbie took me to the airport.   And those little things make me smile and distract me from all the other demands for a few moments.
 
KansasAs always nothing goes as planned but that isn’t necessarily bad since on the way back after delays as the old saying goes “good things come to those who wait”.  In this case I loved how the angle of the sun made the desolate Oklahoma landscape look like it was filled with deep blue ponds. it seemed to fit perfectly the largely different landscapes of the country.
 
Chicago Lake Shore from the sky
Yet only a few hours later catching Chicago’s shoreline from the air at sunset gave it a deep blue ocean hue rather that the murky brown. the sky and the water meld together as the light of the day escaped. The simplicity of the field had given way to the hurried streets of a major city.
NY NY Hotel and Casino of a Sunny Spring Afternoon
But the one thing that often gets lost whether it’s the real city streets or recreated one like you see here.
 
Parasol down wynn las vegas
The facade and glamor of a high end place or the truly special a lingering dinner lake side with friends and laughter…and yes beautiful women.
 
Las Vegas from the air
Eventually everything will go sideways. it’s unavoidable.  Then again it’s all about perspective.  the first photo in this post was taken from the top of the Strip. This was taken from the plane on my way out of town. I left it sideways on purpose because that is how often things feel in my world.   that they are not aligned, that when you look beyond the pretty shapes, the pretense and the facade it is a few fleeting memories, time with friends, a few words typed or exchanged and what ever stolen moments we can get away from the obvious that matters.  When it comes to stage attire it is mean to be viewed at a distance otherwise you run the risk of seeing through the illusion and fantasy. Life is the opposite you need a little distance to be able to truly see the beauty and what is real, even if that’s not what you expected.
 
Postlude:
The truth is I’m often envious of my fellow bloggers photos.   I tried earlier this year to do a 365 project on another site of mine and it was after a few weeks an utter failure.  Since then I started shooting a pic every now and again and sending it to a friend as a way to stay in touch and also be a bit of a tease…well weather wise anyhow.  This week since i couldn’t send sunshine back to the UK for Molly I added her to my very short list of folks to share pictures with.  In a way it was odd for me.  After all I love her photography and find the images she takes and shares so memorable and well constructed that the concept of sending her my feeble attempts seemed odd but none the less fun. I don’t normally shoot people but rather have an obsession with places and hallways.  Mainly because that is the place when walking thing lengths that I most often get to have my thoughts to myself. And perhaps I’ll add landscapes to the city scapes I’m so often fond of. I’ve not written these words of late but much of the time I do live alone in very public spaces, and that works because it lets me disappear into the night just often enough with friends and loves to make the rest of it all worth while.
On a personal level  life continues to change and evolve if only my relationship status was complicated things would be better however since that’s not the case I’ll just role with it and enjoy the friends i have when I can find the time. I’m working on updating my sexual bucket list and had a noteworthy and often not talked about experience this past week that I’ll share shortly.

You’re Art but I’m Not My own Double Standard

This post is long overdue. It’s the follow up to the Naked Nurses Piece over a month ago.  In my usual introspective fashion I’ve debated this one; however far more than most.   I was going to write it from the photographer’s perspective. After all I can hide behind the camera and no one would have though less of it. In fact I do it a lot but just not with the type of pictures you see here (if you know happen to know my birth name I’ll be starting a 365 project on that site beginning with the new year).  Funny for all the erotic things I do when it comes to taking pictures I prefer empty city streets, random hotel corridors, the passing view from a car or out a plane window.  Broken down buildings, tattered entry ways, shadows and desolation in urban centers; there is a beauty in the decay, a wonder in the effects of time, and shifts in economic influences.   Of course that would have been easy.  A few weeks back they put more Men in Sinful Sunday Movement took shape and burned itself into my mind.  Sliver Hubby’s photo stood out, his sentiment bold and brave along with others such as John D whose photos I often admire made me look deeper into my own view.

In a twist of irony Molly just put up her latest Sinful Sunday round up out while I was typing this.  It’s a great example of the type of pictures I love.  In fact I was at dinner with my family this past weekend when Penny put hers out (NSFW version is what I linked to here) in an Instagram friendly manner. So I showed it off and we talked about how fun it was over a family meal. I could drown in her eyes!  A day later I debated with the Chesty Blonde whether Cammies’ Pic reminded me of a classic photographers work I couldn’t recall or simply a beautiful Film Noir type image.  Stepping away from those example I see most of the images as art and admire the courage and beauty of the subjects.  Note perfect is not what catches my eye, in fact something too perfect doesn’t usually work for me. I like honest, or playfully staged not a perfect romantic or erotic image like a romance cover. Rather a combination of reality and honesty. I envy Molly’s creativity.

Still none of that answers the question of why I hate to be in front of the camera, the subject of the picture.  My body is not perfect, yet that doesn’t really bother me. Physically speaking I know what a freak show I am in terms of strength.  For a while I lied to myself and said maybe if I was thinner, younger, had a porn star’s cock I want to be in more pictures.  Then I looked back to when I was thinner and younger and could fuck for days without a break.   The pictures were the same.  It was me in a younger body doing exactly what I do now.  I was composed, everyone else was in jeans and a T, I would be in dress pants or a suit, if on stage everyone was in jeans or spandex   I would either be in leather or the brightest outfit of all making a spectacle of myself.  Clothes are a representation of how I want to be perceived forever.  For an ugly straight guy I think and know a lot about clothes a lot.  I can tell you if you have a good tailor and can point out what I love in each of my favorite garments.

My body even at the height of my physical form years ago was a staged and crafted image.  I can look at others and see the beauty, see the unrepressed sexuality, the wonderful freedom of their exposure.  And what do they see of me? A peek of a shoe, a glimpse of my closet, the empty spaces I peer at when alone in public places, a few hopefully witty lines as I share some view of my world but never really an image of me.  Sure a flash of an arm, a glimpse of my belly, my hand on someone’s ass.   I could lie and say it’s because of anonymity, but I could show more and keep that; yet I choose to stay hidden.

Debates have been had over me doing the scavenger hunt. I’m sure they’ll continue but I struggle to see the merit.   My contribution would be what?   Me exposed? I love seeing others but can’t see myself in the same light.

I’m not shy, I’m not modest but despite that I’m also in my physical form simply not art.  I admire all of those who can share yourselves that way. Perhaps one day I’ll join you until than have you seen my newest shoes?

Postlude:

I had been a model of sorts (and of no acclaim) years and years ago. Doing what one who knows me would expect…preppie catalog shoots (think J Crew oHe Said She Said Erotic BAttle of the Sexes Column Logon a budget) and industrial training films. Perhaps that’s what tainted me? Although that’s not true.  Looking back I hate those pictures of myself, the ones I love are me outback of a dive bar before a show in tattered jeans surrounded by the Children of the Damned types. Me on the floor in a puddle of sweat, my long stringy hair as disheveled as my undernourished body and staving soul. Of me in a black double breasted suit, hair slicked back like a B movie gangster with a group of women too drunk and morally liberal to know better than to spend time with me. Even the ones of me walking into my wedding reception I wore a mask, elegant yes but a facade none the less, of course it went perfectly with my Tux.