Vanilla House Guests and Dying PCs

Well never let be said I have all my shit together because back in January I decided to do a second edition of kink week. After all why not how bad could it be I’d have the better part of 5 months to put it together. Plenty f time to write and come up with some new kinky ideas and stories. In the mean time I began my “Exercising My Demons” podcast on a whim and figured audio could be a huge part of the event. Adding in the wild idea to have people beyond me and the Chesty Blonde in on the fun and it would be great.

A few months later someone points out that it’s memorial day weekend. Ok I traditionally spend three days over that holiday in Indiana visiting my sister and her family doing the little kid birthday thing. No big deal I planned on being done well ahead of time. A little while after the Blonde pointed out that we had commitments that would keep us home this year…even better I could focus on kink week with out Internet access anxiety.

Well those things that kept me home would mean I’d also have a stream of house guests spending the night from the Tuesday before kink week until Memorial day. Now It’s one thing to put away the ropes, play clothes and sex toys. We don’t have any specialty furniture other than a massive four post bed (yeah that’s a big fucking shock isn’t it). So no need to hide a Saint John’s cross, hooks in the ceiling, or metal rings in the basement walls, and candles are very instyle decorations so nothing odd there. It is something that everybody goes through now and again…house guests with different values than your own but then add in that two of my additional stunt voices would be in town to join us for the festivities. It had the potential to be the wildest of weekends and a complete disaster in the same breath.

So there we are my house a revolving door of day guests and house guests. Parents, grand parents, friends, family and an assortment of other carbon based life forms and a smattering of kinky or kink aware friends coming and going. I’m sneaking off to edit audio like a desperate smoker just trying to get a few puffs in be fore the nuns raid the boys restroom in an act of righteous vengeance. People are also sneaking away from the parties and making their way down to visit me and dying to know what I’m listening to nothing important I reassure them, just a little audio, what ever excuse I could come up with for my isolation and constant disappearances. The down side of that is they thought that I was writing and recording music again which prompted other time consuming questions.

Oh sure then after playing Taxi (airport runs, carting the kids around and buying groceries) , tour guide (we live in St. Louis so the arch is a must see for all first timers to our place), sommelier (a Saturday afternoon wine country tour in a 15 person van with me as th designated driver, and yes believe it or not Missouri has some pretty good wines, it is one of the few things in the region I truly love), chef (and not just a guy standing at a BBQ real cooking thank you very much), host and party guest of my own accord at other functions. There were moments when like a man keeping and assortment of lovers I’d sneak off with one of the ladies, down an unlit stairwell, closing the door behind us fire up the PC, sound board and mics and record them reading my dirty little tales.

The high light of which was Victoria and I marking up our scripts while sitting in a grocery store parking lot and then rushed home and were standing in the studio role playing her calling out “BASTARD” a bit to enthusiastically as she glared at me and me calling her a slut repeatedly in a not so nice tone of voice while a house full of people above us were drinking potent knock you on your ass Margaritas. “I think we can take this so much further, it could be much more intense” Apparently my little scene was not nearly cruel enough to meet her needs.

At 5:00 am on morning I’m sitting at the kitchen table posting a when kink goes wrong. Sipping a vat of strong black coffee, thinking about the potential of blowing off my morning run and clogging my own arteries with a pound of bacon and a nice order of Eggs Benedict and fried potatoes ( a nice Polish boy like me has to have to have his potatoes) When my mother who was in town visiting walks in still in her night shirt, pours a massive cup of coffee as well and sits down across from me. Looking over if she asks “are you still writing that pornography?”

I laugh and tell her I’m working on smut at that very moment but would be done shortly. She has now idea what I write and equates it to dime store romances of her own youth, then again maybe she does in my younger years she’d show up unannounced to see my band play and it was often fairly obvious with the bull whips, girl in a cage and hand cuffs what were singing about even if you couldn’t understand the words.

Some where along the way my pc decides it time to take a dirt nap, but it doesn’t fade in a blaze of glory and go out in flames instead it starts to take an hour to do something tha should take three minutes so the original version of this post talking about the coordination issues rather than the aftermath my surface later once I get my geek hat back on and the urge to stop calling it a useless fucking whore subsides.

Have no fear the rest of kink week will go on as planned with the only change being that I’ll be doing tonight’s reading of the “Devil makes three later that evening” instead of Victoria.

This post comes to you courtesy of my new laptop and th epoor bastards who had to work at Best Buy yesterday.

Latex Allergies

This Morning we find ourselves on day two of Kink Week and starting off with another humorous tale. The audio portion of this one is well worth the listen if you love the sound of a nice English girl, I know I certainly do. You can hear the audio on the Pickle Player above or by visiting See you again in a few hours for the Mid Day Play.

Ladies and gentlemen, Masters and Mistresses and of course all of you on the receiving end of things as well. Today our little story begins like this…

Once upon a time a particular lady who had become fairly well known within certain circles of her twisted little community over recent years was widely renowned for loving strut around munches, play parties, and other social functions in full fetish regalia. You do have to love gatherings with a private room don’t you?

She one night she encountered, as you might imagine from the title, a small problem.

After all she was a very sexy creature. Dangerously high heels and boots gave way to long legs adorned in a second skin of leather, latex, or PVC. Although her knickers usually left very little to the imagination when it came to her body’s form, they and all of her other assets so to speak certainly caused more than their fair shares of imaginations to lose themselves in other even more mischievous thoughts. Her matching tops, ample chest and typically exposed cleavage (with pierced perky nips) didn’t hurt either.

Now with all the slapping and smacking, the looks and word play, the wicked torturous little devices and all those other delightfully sinful games that get played, her very diverse wardrobe only added to her allure and popularity.

She was a fun Girl always up for a little give and a bit of take as well if you know what mean.

Some people have a few sets of play clothes, she had enough to outfit the entire community, and she was from a fucking big city. One with a well established scene, where she liked to parade around like the queen of the club. Although there were a few other “queens” who might disagree. But those boys had a completely different taste in play friends.

At the end of one particularly long torrid evening that was filled with loud music, a bit too much dancing, a few too many pints, an assortment of friends, and a few other things she found her way home. Sadly but by choice alone mind you. Beauty sleep going in to a busy week end is never a bad idea.

Out of the cab, up the steps and in to the cold air of her flat she furiously pulled open her top coat like some perverted old flasher and it was strewn over the arm of the sofa before she closed the door behind her. Personally I think if it weren’t for stuffy old farts, and people hiding sexy outfits under them long coats would have faded from sight years ago.

Think about that next time you’d sitting on a crowded train. It’ll help pass the time.

Well she made her way the room turned on the Tele (check for cultural accuracy), had a few more sips and began peel off her clothes, first unlacing the boots, then restrictive top, ahh freedom felt so good, and finally getting to her smudged after a long night and now not so shiny pants exposed the last of her bits and pieces to an empty room.

Noticing a few bumps. Damned razor burn! What a girl has to suffer in the name of beauty and fun. Sitting there mindlessly winding down she noticed it might be a few bumps but she was also getting itchy, a long night a lot of movement perspiration and rubbing. One doesn’t wear latex because it is a cool breathable garment. Upon further investigation, a few splotches and the start of a rash. A bloody rash!

Those are never a good thing but her mind raced nearing a panic as to why her nether regions were having such issues. No new lovers, being D&D was something she prided herself on. Never mind that her favorite monthly play party was the next day so it made things just a bit worse.

After running all the horrid possibilities through her mind she looked at the baby powder she had used to slip into her outfit, it was the same as always. The same polish she had been using for years put the sheen in her deep black mirror like pants and bustier.

Rinsing off in the shower and inspecting the condition a little more closely the thought that people from time to time just developed allergies occurred to her. A latex allergy wasn’t all that uncommon. How does one find out if that’s the issue? Do you just call the doctor? Imagine that conversation I think I have a latex allergy and here’s why my damn pants made me all splotchy, not to mention the implications of what one would have to for a nice safe go at things with people; and toys. And all those out fits that she loved as much as anything.

Eventually she dozes off concerned and still slept like a baby. The next morning all was fine and well. Even the damned razor burn was almost gone. So putting away her birthday suit and starting her day heads outs on a long list of errands. Still occasionally wondering what caused the condition.

Could it really be a latex allergy? Around mid day things started to bother her again, the itch and splotch were back. As she stood there wondering if it was in fact time to call the doc it occurred to her as she closed the lid on the washing machine she bought a new detergent.

We’re very happy to report that the new detergent was indeed eventually determined to be the culprit. Later that evening she opted for leather but ever since she can still be seen strutting around in latex at will with no ill effects, well that is until she starts to play but those are stripes of a different color.

Discussing a lifestyle event with strangers

This is a repost after the crash and loss of the previous site.  Hopefully the perma links match

Look by day I may have an edge but I don’t exactly take the tools of my wicked little trade in my carry on luggage as I head out to the airport every week. Which reminds me of a story about a weekend trip to Mexico and a suitcase filled with toys…I’ll save that one for another time but the moral of the story was the woman in Mexican custom’s was very embarrassed and it was my suit case.
Even if I did walk around with an assortment of sadistic little things there’s a chance I could be a sales manager and the numbers are down but no where near as low as you’re going to be when I’m finished. Sorry got distracted back on topic.
Recently on a flight I fell into a conversation with a nice average looking couple who asked where I was headed and why. My mother told me never talk to strangers but sitting there I ignored that advice and told them Business and blah, blah, blah so I asked them the same question. “We’re coming from a lifestyle event” she eagerly offered.
Well if you’re like me the minute you hear lifestyle event only one or two things come to mind. So immediately I’m interested, I start to file through my brain for events that I know of that are big enough to travel to that might be going on.
Shibaricon – no can’t be it not until May (ironically it starts the same day as my kink week posts start which is pure coincidence)
Beat me in St. Louis…nope not currently going on.
Perhaps an Austin Rope event…Nothing comes to mind. Maybe they’re swingers might be something who knows how many events they have.
Nice people but I start to notice in those few seconds that passed that they aren’t giving off the sexy we like to fuck swingers vibe at all. No I’m not stereo typing but the lady wasn’t eyeing the pretty brunette walking down the aisle and yes I know for a fact that all swingers aren’t Bi. But let’s face it any swinger straight or Bi that I know would have been eyeing her. Hell most of the people on the plane noticed her she was that pretty.
“Oh a lifestyle event” my voice somewhat dismayed as to where to go from here…after all we’re three sentences in to a conversation before a 4 hour flight I don’t want to freak the nice people out by coming right out and asking too many questions like “Oh what’s your Kink?”, “Straight, Bi?” “Top, Bottom, or Switch?” “Rope, Pain, or both?” “Full swap, Soft swap?” you get the picture.
The wife spoke (She was wearing a ring but it is at this point just an assumption) “It was the most amazing weekend, we had so much fun”
A generic enough answer so I inquire “what made it so much fun?”
“We’ve never been to anything like this before.” She pauses, blushes a little and fumbles for words. I think it’s about to get good. Now I know how I’d answer the question in the situation, generically.
“It was a couple’s only event.” She finally admits. Now unless I’m wrong couples Vanilla and Kinky do on occasion go away for the week end. A few nights in a hotel, new places, old and new friends, too much wine, a few clubs, perhaps a couple of games of chance, or other games. I’ve also been told there are museums, fairs, antique road shows or what ever it is that all the couples do who aren’t out getting liquored up and partying when they go away.
Needless to say there was nothing wrong with a couple’s weekend event. So I Pushed a little…”You said it was a lifestyle event.” I should have stopped “what kind of life style?”
What are the odds that I’ve met a kinky couple on the plane…low right? But I had to know. “Well” she said her husband by now staring mindlessly out the window, which is never a good sign.
“It was to reenergize our relationship and bring back the romance by including the lord in our marriage.” From there she just went on and on. I’m all for threesomes, foursomes, and all out orgies but that was one Ménage trios I wasn’t expecting. I was dying to ask if she now considered her relation ship to be Poly…but figured I’d have to explain it. And then spend the next three hours and forty five minutes with her saving my soul.
Isn’t there a law about people using the term lifestyle event? No? Well there damn well should be. So I sat and listened to her and how much fun it was, the spouse lacked the same enthusiasm…bet it also was a three way he never dreamed of. Odd are he’d have rather spiced things up with the little brunette I mentioned earlier who was still walking up and down the aisle.
Is there a secret hand shake or special way of lacing up ones shoes so I know other like minded people when I see them…you know like guys with rainbow stickers on the back of their cars. I know what that means what do they kinky people have other than lords of acid t shirts, the occasional otk bumper sticker that makes it look like you dig the beach? It might have been better if I listened to my mother and didn’t talk to strangers.

A Tease, Musings, and Some New Kink ideas

Guess what’s coming up?  Stop it I gave you a hint in the damn title…KINK WEEK which is now less than two months away.   That’s right it is my self proclaimed bi (bi is better in some cases right?)  where was I oh yeah Bi annual celebration of sex and play that probably doesn’t involve the missionary position or anything that was covered in Sex Ed but might have been the very reason you took abnormal sexuality in college.  BTW I got an “A” and took the class with a few female friends, it was a good semester!  


Back to the topic…

To prove that I’m serious and to get your dirty little minds running here’s the planned posting schedule. Ambitious yes!  Then again what good is being stimulated and kinky if you can’t be over stimulated and excessively kinky now and then?  If all goes as planned There will be pod casts to go with the “ kink goes wrong” and “bed time” story posts…to keep your hands free for other things or in the event you find yourself all tied up.


Coffee & Kink Goes Wrong

Mid Day Play

Bed Time Stories

Friday May 23

Discussing your life style with strangers


Toy with Me

Saturday May 24

Latex Allergies

Sub Mission

She Wants to submit

Sunday May 25

The new guy at the munch shouldn’t wear white

Fetish Wear

Pinch, Touch, and Caress

Monday May 26

Marks, lines, bruises, and the locker room


The Release

Tuesday May 27

Vanilla House Guests

Wicked Little things

And the devils makes three…later that night

Wednesday May 28

2nd husbands


Tiny Little Lines

Thursday May 29

All Knotted Up


The wait

Friday May 30

Honey Do you want to be a fetish Model

Readers & Friends Play along

Something special

As you can see I’ve done a lot of the work but there are audience participation options

Options you ask…yes options!

First off. Ever want to be immortalized in a podcast…here’s your chance…you can be the featured voice in one of the bed time story readings.  If you’re interested drop me a line at admin@ and we can work out the details.

The details of the second one are to follow but could feature you and or a lover in a mid day play post dedicated to readers kinky pics.


On the down side there’s a rope event in my current home city this weekend and I won’t be there which completely sucks. The guest instructor is Graydancer (for all you spanko’s there’s a great bit on his latest ropecast that’s a quick and fun listen….no rope is involved)

And while on the topic of rope I’ve still not decided what color rope to buy for an upcoming kink week picture project. Suggestions are not only welcomed but encouraged!