Covered in English Women’s Kisses

The Lobby of the Waldorf in NYCThis past week was to be a wonderful time. Mistress Victoria and The Key Limey (a lovely woman originally from Manchester with a penchant for Key Lime margaritas hence her nick name) all were set to have dinner in Gotham Tuesday night.
It had been last May since the three of us were altogether, to say I was excited is an understatement. Monday night I get an email “Drinks @ 6:30 Dinner @ 7:30 the reservation is for 9”. Now I may not be a rocket scientist but even I know that 9 is literally 3 times more than 3. And so our quaint dinner became a wonderful little party. All the members of which I knew at least in passing with the exception of one; a large mean looking guy originally from London, but we’ll get back to that fellow in a bit.
No worries, new friends are good right? I’ve mentioned this before but it bears repeating. I’m not a physically affectionate person with strangers and acquaintances (excluding people where hugging and kissing is a cultural greeting then I play along, a la France, some Canadians, any host shot from L.A.). If I hug you it’s because you’re someone I’m very comfortable with( if you hug me I will reciprocate and be fine with it but I won’t initiate) , if I kiss you even on the cheek (not an air kiss but lips meet flesh kiss) you are someone I truly trust.
I enter the eatery second from the last arrive. The group has left the bar area and are all seated at the table. Greetings are exchanged and a few of the ladies hug and kiss me; two of them English and a nice Jewish Grand Mother. Then Victoria and I simply say hello since we’d seen each other before getting into the car however she made it inside far ahead of me and was already situated.
Conversations began and then a bit later the Limey arrived. When she got to me I took her in my arms, gave her a giant lingering hug and kissed her back after she had kissed me. Fair is fair. I sat back down as she flitted on to the next person and that’s when I caught it. The death stare, one that was silently screaming DIE YOU FUCKING YANKEE BASTARD, or something like that with its searing speechless intensity. All of it pointed like a laser beam of hatred in my direction by the Londoner. I tried to ignore it but the fuck just kept staring angrily at me. So I did what I do best just smiled and waved at him but opting to use all five fingers and not just the middle one.
 
Finally one of the women leaned in and asked “what did you do to him?” After a brief pause offered “I don’t know, I came to dinner? Was on the side that won the Revolutionary War, fucked his sister in the ass and didn’t call? Really no clue!”
Some time and several drinks later he seemed to mellow and the evening wore on without incident and was truly a great time as we talked about travel, and books; music and business. Families and lovers were discussed. People began to scatter eventually leaving 4 women and me at the table.
The topic of the stares came back up. One guest offered “I bet he was just jealous you were covered in all those English women’s kisses”
Eventually the Limey, Victoria and I would wonder away into the warm night but those words kept ringing sweetly in my ears.

Getting Your Kink Out – Upcoming things to do Jan and Feb 2013

Party Party Party by Art of Smile on Deviant ArtWith so much going on locally in St. Louis plus some things Mal has been invited to elsewhere by old friends.  We thought we’d get ahead of the curve for once.
 
Last Saturday Strip The Roast of Charlotte Sumtimes – Attitudes Nightclub St. Louis Mo
January 26th The Show starts at 11pm. Pub side doors open at 7 and club doors at 10.  The one dollar cover benefits Stray Rescue.
We’re fans of Charlotte’s.  So we thought her birthday bash and roast was worth a mention as an upcoming event on our short list.   When she’s involved it’s always one hell of a show and seeing her big sexy butt get roasted makes it even more interesting.
 
 
Inside the Red Room  – BDSM Introduction class with Mistress Simone Cheap Trx St Louis Mo
January 27th
6pm to 8 pm
Cost is $20 per person
Listed as Newbie Friendly.  Space is limited see the link for addition details
 
 
Naughti Gras 6 – Koken Art Factory St Louis
Feb 1st & 2nd 7pm to 1 am
For those of you in and around St. Louis it’s that time of year again when the Koken Art Factory which usually has a nice edge to its shows anyway is transformed into its own little erotic paradise.  This year the main event which takes place February 1st and 2nd will be expanded to include “The Tropic of Cancer” experience in addition to the traditional erotic art show will provide theme rooms ranging from a speak easy to a dungeon and a rave.   This year the event will take up 2 buildings so see the event page for details.  Mal and The Chesty Blonde will be there on Saturday most likely slumming at the speak easy or the rave…or the closest bar.   Additionally the art will be on display the weekend after the main event.  It’s a great chance to see something sexy and support local artists at the same time.
 
The Music of Les Mis & Miss Saigon The Stand Theater Zelienople Pa (Pittsburgh Suburb)
Feb 8th & 9th     Show Time is 8pm
A broad way musical performance?  Not a play but just the music?  Really?  Yes really.  It features a Broadway star which is wonderful but it also includes a very talented old friend of Mal’s.  So far he won’t be able to fly in for the event but is still working a few angles.
 
Rope School – from Bondage to Shibari Adding Style to Your Rope Play –  St. Louis Missouri
Saturday February 9th  3:00pm to 5:00 pm
Part two of the rope school will be in session.  See the event details on Fet Life
Also don’t forget to check out our friends at Aja Rope if you’re in need of great bondage rope to get you started…or more great rope because despite popular opinion in Mal’s house you can never actually have too much rope.
 
 
Looking ahead
Beat Me in St. Louis

March 15th – 17th
By all accounts a great local event in St. Louis and one that has been on Ignored Dad’s short list since he stepped out of the proverbial Kink closet last year.   In our mind any event that boasts about a dessert social is fine by us but we hear the kink is pretty good too.   It’s very affordable with the three day ticket at only $129 and the Saturday pass @ $50 bucks.    (BTW Mal said if he can’t make it he’ll bribe someone to get him a T shirt with the clover graphic on it just he can wear it around uber conservative family members of Irish descent)
See STL3’s Event  Website for additional details
 
Have an kink, fetish, swinger or sex positive event you’d like us to list in the future?   No problem just let us know we’re happy to help.

Seeing your Kinks on Stage

A Modern Take on Willaim Shakespeare - The Bard with a Black T and tattooed armsIn the opening 30 seconds a tall blond and uniformed type (and not to mention blind folded) man walks across the stage, grabs a woman, kisses her passionately and delivers a well place blow on her lovely back side with a riding crop.   An hour later there is a woman tied to a post wearing only her under garments (granted they were more bloomers than lingerie).  In between the two there were several muscle bound male Fairy types parading around in body suits, twirly pixie skirts, and edgy make up.   I know you think this another one of those posts where you think “well Duh captain obvious you must have been at another fetish performance or burlesque/drag/ whatever the fuck else goes on kind of events.”   And normally you’d be right but this time we were sitting quite literally front and center at a mainstream production of Shakespeare’s a Mid Summer Night’s Dream.
Don’t get me wrong it was not a fetish themed adaptation. It was a legitimate theater event with traditional scripting (excluding a few humorous asides), and costumes updated from the Victorian era to be pre world war one.   It had the General, the Officer, the debutant, her over bearing father, the cry for traditional Athenian justice etc.   Just in case you don’t know it’s a comedy and in this case was very well done.  So if you need something to do this coming weekend it’s at the Grandel Theater for 3 more performances ( It’s a cool small theater just around the corner from the Fox and Powell Hall).
The next morning over coffee with the Blonde we were discussing the play and the riding crop got mentioned.   I guess in a lot of ways it depends on your perspective how you view things.   First off a 1913 era general would most likely have a riding crop with him as part of his daily tools. Horses were still an everyday part of the military back then.  She remarked that she thought it was edgy he swatted her.  I on the other hand thought hmm.  I wish he’d give her a few more licks but guess it really isn’t that kind of show.   More or less I took it to be more playful and flirtatious.  It wasn’t a John Wayne take over your knee move which wasn’t all that edgy either if you ask me.   My summation is that men have been smacking women on the ass for one reason or another rightly or wrongly since before the missionary position was invented.   I thought of it as nothing more than boys being boys.  Having smacked a few asses over the years I do have a jaded point of reference.  Then again I tend to  keep the company of women who don’t mind and even like a few smacks on their butt.  As a matter of fact odds are if you don’t you’re probably not my kind of girl.  To each their own.
Then one of the female leads (Hermia if you must know) was tied to a tree stump.  I get it that was nothing more than part of the plot line and added to the comedy but the next morning  the fact it was done rope work was done so hap haphazardly irked me a bit.  That point was met with “It was funny,and the rope was not suppose to be the art. You’re a rope freak so get over it”.  The Blonde had a point but Jesus couldn’t they have cast just one cow boy, mountain climber, or rope top to not drive the occasionally kinkster in the audience crazy?  Oh right I’m not sure how you’d ask for that in the auditions.
As for the young muscle bound mystical creatures, their king, and queen, and the cross dressed Mechanical and butch-ish female Mechanical.  I found them fun and playful, it made me realize I was missing a gender fuck burlesque show on the other side of the highway but for the most part I just laughed along.
Still even in its own mild and not really kinky way it is always a little odd to see your kinks on a stage where you wouldn’t expect to.  Stepping away from my usual topics here’s my assessment.   St. Louis for as much as I make fun of it for being puritan, and conservative does have a good theater scene;  if you know where to look.  Once you get beyond the shows that are national touring productions at the big place in town there are tons of college, professional and, community theater groups worth checking out.
 
Postlude
Probably the wildest thing of all is that I can walk up the night of a show and get tickets to most of them, in particular Shakespeare productions that are not complete sell outs amaze me.  Where I come from you had to pre order tickets to high school productions and professional Shakespearean theater that wasn’t sold out every night is unheard of.

Review of Titans – For the Long Gone

Titans For the Long Gone Album ArtThe first opening tinny strained notes of “It’s Dark” took me back to my youth. Visions of the hot summer mornings of 1987 as I woke up next to Miss Last Night in a vodka induced haze to the sounds of Alice Cooper’s Steven from Welcome to my nightmare flooded my mind.   Thirty Two Seconds later the moments later nostalgia left as the pulsating synths kicked in. This wasn’t memory lane it is the year of the alleged apocalypse and this might just be the sound track for such an event.
Technically speaking “For the Long Gone” had all the elements you’d expect from modern electronic music (Pulsating drones, multiple repetitive synth lines,etc)  but some of the stand out elements for me personally were the drums/percussion never felt forced.  The transitions, key, and tempo changes were natural and fluid; a rare feat for a lot of electronic musicians. No weird stops, no silent pauses just well constructed transitions from one section to the next.  Lyrically the songs were diverse and intelligent.  Don’t be misled they were not high brow or glorious happy fairytales instead they were dark and disturbing in an introspective and interesting way without being brooding.  Dan’s voice was smooth and deep through most of the verses early on and offered different ranges and textures as the album progressed.  The choruses often were well layered and offered multiple vocalists in varying registers and tempos in some of the tunes.  Additional tones, voices and effects were added as songs built upon themselves eliminating the mindless repetition Electronica is often prone to.  (I know if I took X, I’d dig that repetition but I don’t so get over it).   Other than a few minor distorted elements there didn’t appear to be any abuse of auto tuning programs.
Tunes not to be overlooked are some of the more playful ones such as “Bottom Feeder” which has one of the catchiest hooks on the album and the lyrics paint a dire picture of a woman in particular.   Actually I think I dated the very woman they are singing about on several different occasions.  The Remix has a bit more of an edge (and also a quicker tempo) that grabbed me as well.   “You’re Wasted” went to a very different place than I expected both musically and lyrically that I truly enjoyed.   The song came close to releasing itself into a musical fury that is so often missing from this genre.  So often I hear song’s I wish would let all heal break loose, let me feel the rage, and the anguish sonically.  It didn’t go there completely but managed to be interesting and not feel like a giant tease.
 
You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you overlook the videos.  I literally only went and watched them this morning after having the album on my i pod for a few months.   The videos bring a visually striking element to the music that take the songs somewhere far  darker than I’d imagined.  So lace up your black boots, head out to a loud dimly lit club, have a few spirits and mingle with people of questionable moral character to this sound track.  As for me I’ll be featuring several of their songs on the playlist for my Apocalypse party later this year and watching for live show dates somewhere in the U.S.
 
Where to Find – Titans
Facebook
You Tube 

 

Deep Chills Leaves Me Humming Along

Lords of Acid, Deep Chills Album ArtIf forced to pick a religion other than Atheist  I would and often do freely admit that I “worship the Lords” as the song goes and pretty much also subscribe to the “Fuck the rest” theory. If forced to name my musical Pagan deity of choice it would be Praga Kahn. When the Lords announced two summers ago they were going to tour again I literally rearranged my life to see them.  For me it was the second coming all the thumpers in the flat lands had been waiting for thousands of years to occur.  The only difference is mine included Fetish models and leather pants.
Last year I planned a multi city yuppie version of a dead head’s lifestyle to catch some shows. Sure instead of a beat up bus I flew first class but a man has to have his standards.   Again they were great live and DJ Mea was an improvement from Lacey.   Not a knock just an opinion.   When the Mighty Little Rabbit EP came out I preordered it and gobbled it up.  So it only stands to reason that I would do the same with Deep Chills.  I preordered like a good little Child of Acid, I bought it again on ITunes because I couldn’t wait to get home from a nomadic excursion to give it a listen. I gifted a few copies of Paranormal Entity to friends to help it climb the singles chart at Apple.
Then I sat down in earnest to give it a listen.  After 10 years of no new tunes my hopes were high.  Sure I’ve found lots of other stuff to listen to in that 10 years but none of it ever has held the same place in my heart as the Lords. I sat dejected, manic, and depressed.   Sure times change but if the four new songs I already knew were the best it wasn’t tragic but something seemed to be missing.   It was but it had to do with my audio issues not the album.   If you take nothing else from this DO NOT LISTEN TO THE TUNES the FIRST TIME ON CHEAP SPEAKERS or Ipod quality head phones.
Normally I’m the last guy to tell someone to use decent stuff to listen to tunes but in this case it helps.  In my mind wanted to hear songs that grabbed me like Rubber Doll Opus, off of Our Little Secret, Screwed Bi You from Farstucker, or Dirty Willie from VooDoo You.  So the next morning I did what I did when I first heard those songs.  Got in my car, drove fast, and cranked it up.  Sonically speaking there is a lot going on in the tunes and it gets lost in ear buds (even Skull Candy ones for the record).
In a lot of ways the songs are new versions of the Lords do the Lords. Remakes on old themes.  Rubber Doll becomes Little Mighty Rabbit, both songs I love.   The album grew on me, I could hear the playfulness in its full glory, not just the wanton sexuality.  In many ways it was brilliantly marketed by including Porn girl Alana Evans on Pop That Tooshie and the TV Boogie Man Hunter Zak Bagans on Paranormal Entity.  Talk about cross over my 13 year old (named ironically after the demon Lilith) decided the Lords were OK since he liked them. As a fan that’s great, as a father…it is what it is.   These additions undoubtedly brought in new fans. I’m a poly kind of guy so the more the merrier.
 
As much as I longed for something dark and sexual to grab me it is the one element that is missing that can be found on the Farstucker & Voodoo You albums.  Still the fact that I have Mary Queen of Slots, Hedge Hog, and Love Bus echoing through my mind a few months after the album came out says enough.
 
So why the delay in writing a review?  Did the music take that long to grow on me?  Nope I was just hoping to include the tour schedule with the post but that will be a topic for another time.   Once it comes out I’ve committed to hosting a party of my own accord at a show or two and in true Malflic fashion will be providing the tickets for a few friends old and new.

A Yuppie Fuck meets a Tarnished Soul and an Unlikely Spiritually Restoring Conversation Ensues

Last night was a beautiful night.  Low 80’s, low humidity, a few large fluffy white clouds rolling carelessly through an otherwise clear calm twilight.  I arrived home 5 hours earlier than expected and was sitting around my kitchen table as Lilly my 13 year old showed me her new I Phone’s capabilities by insulting Siri with a string of suggestive profanities.  Diva had just come home from one of her last official functions as a high school student and the reality that this period of her life was ending was finally setting in.   A short time later Diva and I decided to find a bite to eat and piled into the car, dodged the street that was filled by parking impaired bible thumpers yet again. (I hate Thursday Nights) and as we tooled through town finally decided just to stop as the bastion of Clogged Arches.
 
Punk Rock American Gothic by HardnoxThe place was all but empty with just two people in front of us.  At first my mind was lost on other things. Just hours before these moments I had been sitting in a swanky hotel discussing an opportunity that could grow my net worth considerably if I dared go play in the valley for a Private Equity company. I was weighing did I want to live in Northern California? Was it really enough money? Would my family like it there? All of those things ate at me quietly inside.  I looked at the couple in front of us, at first glance it was a typical you’re out in public non event. I thought it odd that the man was wearing a T Shirt with a depiction of American Gothic on the back.   When I looked again that’s when it grabbed me.  It was not the traditional depiction but a Tatted up version of the familiar characters and the woman was wearing a collar.  I became transfixed.   Polite Manners of our youth would tell us not to stare but I stepped closer trying to catch a glimpse of the text.  I wanted to know who made the shirt, I had become what I am at my core a consumer of things I like and damn it I wanted that shirt.
 
The Man spun around and in a direct but not overly threatening way said “isn’t it funny how you can just feel eyeballs on your back?” I looked him in the eye.  “Sorry man but I fucking love your shirt.  It’s so cool.”  He looked at me trying to decide if I was just saving face for being a dick but gave me the benefit of the doubt for the moment.  “My First Wife gave it to me, my current wife says it’s trashed and I should throw it away.”   I blurt out “No way, it’s too cool I’d wear it until it falls apart” At this point I’m noticing his tats which are an eclectic combination of exquisite artwork and dreadful experiments gone awry.   He smiles a tattered and mostly toothless smile. “What do you like about it?” his tone now not as suspicious but not genuine as mine probably was.  “The guy is cool but the Chest piece on the chick and the shading on the ring of her collar is what caught my eye.”
 
Diva orders, the other couples food comes and eventually we find ourselves in the dining area when he catches my eye after a few minutes.  “I’ve been wearing this shirt for years, It’s my second favorite shirt I’ve ever owned.”  I nod and agree I whip out my droid like the giant fucking nerd that I am and show him that I found them online.  He smiles, thrilled and perhaps finally convinced that there wasn’t an angle, a hustle, or that I was simply just trying to pacify a scary looking dude so he wouldn’t kick my ass. “Nobody’s ever said something about my shirt before, no one has even said that they like it.  Why did you?” a slight tone of suspicion returns to his voice.   In a lot of ways it wasn’t two grown men talking, it was a rare moment when in retrospect our conversation was more youthful, like two teenagers both trying to figure out if the other one was cool or a poser.  “I get jacked with and stared from all kinds of people for my T shirts at the local QT.” I tell him without a pause.
“What kind of shirts? Like band shirts?” Suddenly I was OK in his eyes.  I told him about My LoA shirts, and few of my more mainstream lifestyle ones that can be worn in public.   He asked if the Lords were Christian Metal?   Not expecting the question I almost giggled and explained their music thrilled to be talking about them with a potential convert.
At this point time was lost.   He asked if I liked Ozzy? Turns out he’s not only an Ozzy fan but a huge Zack Wylde and Black Label Society guy.  I admitted I like both of them but preferred Rhodes.  Looking at him and his assortment of body art, a frame that had seen a hard life, and face that showed the signs of not so run of the mill addiction issues and me in comparison.  It suddenly dawned on me I wasn’t in my boots and tattered Levi’s rocking some battered T like the aging rocker I see myself as at all times.  I was in the latest flat front thin cut Kahki’s, brown sandals with 3 shades of pink plaid running through them and a very high end logoed shirt.  I’d come from a causal business setting not my work at home or wonder around town purposely threads.  No wonder the dude wasn’t sure how to take me at first, I looked like the poster boy for middle age yuppie fuckers everywhere.  No visible ink, no overt piercings, not a hint of counter culture to me other than inside my head.
We debated whether or not Jake E Lee was under rated, I told him I think Ozzy learned from having to let Jake go for his Badlands project not to stifle talent like that again and it was why Zack had done both BLS and stayed with OZ.  From there we went on to discuss Priest, Maiden, He named his youngest daughter Tesla after the band and had her name and birthday tattooed on his left wrist.  I took the opportunity to introduce Diva Paige to him and explained I was huge Zappa freak and how her name came to be.  I have no idea how long we talked.  The Blonde called Diva and asked if we were OK and then if ever going to bring her food.
I don’t talk to people in public beyond polite courtesies and social graces. I rarely fall into real conversations with total strangers but here I was having what was one of the best conversations for my soul in years.  A man that I would learn was 40, had a 25 year old son, and 8 kids between his own from two marriages and step kids.  He spent every extra penny he had taking his wife, kids, and step kids to concerts that ranged from the local point fest extravaganzas to Nickelback (Both his step daughter and Diva perked up and joined in since we were off the topic of old Brits for a few minutes) Ozzy, Crue.  This was a man who like me just loved music, and much of the same music.  His step daughter had to miss Five Finger Death Punch because she didn’t have a guy to go with her even though she had the money for two tickets saved up.  Her step father confided he was in the hoosegow for some minor issues at the time still feels bad and couldn’t take her.  He gently admonished her that even if she doesn’t know what she has the young men do and that she needs to be careful or “really bad shit can happen.” Smart man and good advice I agreed.  He remembered seeing Candlebox, I talked about the time before Metallica became a giant bunch of pussies who belong at the Lilith Faire.
He asked what new stuff I was listening to.  I talked about how the only new group since my Darkest Days I’ve gotten into is Titans.  He wrote the name down on his napkin with a well chewed pen. The conversation continued with no break and eventually Diva showed up with the Blondes food and patiently waited for us to wrap up.
We shook hands and I headed out apologizing to Diva on the way for not spending more time talking to her, after all that’s what I really wanted a few moments with my kid while she’s still a kid and still around. Soon enough life will take her in all kinds of directions and to places she probably never imagined.
“Dad you don’t make friends very often, I figured I’d just let you go” This is where cool dad became predictable old man and used it as a teaching moment as we meandered through the tree lined streets.  We did the math on my new friends life, we talked about how suffering for your art is one thing but limiting your future with bad choices just to party and live fast is another.   I pondered why it was such a good conversation for me.  He had his original copy of Stained Class as his prized art work in his bedroom.  I collect limited edition photos, rare original water colors, and first edition books.   He was just happy to go to shows with his family when he could afford it.  Three hours earlier while sitting in an airline club waiting top place my fat ass in a first class seat I weighed my options, considered yet another opportunity and mused that if there was a deferred compensation plan that I was allowed to apply all bonuses what would be the long term wealth and tax implications should I die an untimely death with a financial planner on the other end of the phone.   My new acquaintance talked about his current marriage falling apart, his ability to maintain a relationship with their shared kids and his step kids.  Yet despite all that he seemed happy, content and comfortable with where he was in life.  On the surface we couldn’t have seemed more different but it was the topic of music that made the connections.
 
Ironically it was Metal that I sought out as a kid as a way to connect outside of the in crowd, the jocks, the cool kids.  I always saw myself as a freak and an outsider despite all other appearances.   I got straight A’s, was a Star Athlete, Cheerleaders where something you put your dick in but was always happiest at the table in the school lunch room with the stoners and other metal heads talking about the latest Queensryche tape or which incarnation of Sabbath was better.  25 years later I was lucky enough to in an instant find a few moments again when all that mattered was the bands I dig and the shows I’ve been to.     It was nice to be able to share a passion and just live in the moment with no cares for the past or the future.
 
The first thing I did this morning was replay the conversation, the second thing is order the T shirt and the Barbwire Girl next to it..

The Last Strip Starts off with a Big Bang

The Last Strip Fyler MArch 2012 Attitiudes St. LouisLet me start at the end rather than the beginning.  The place is filled to standing room only, the stage is lined from edge to edge with the performers who had entertained the crowd for the previous 90 minutes, fog fills the air, lights cut through it as the speakers twitch and shake music begins to pulsate and the dance party portion of the evening instantly begins. I watch the dancers twirl, hands fly into the air and fun for the masses ensues.  Sadly it marks the end of the festivities for me as I head for the door.  Dancing was not in the cards, after all why screw up what had been a great evening with my half assed gyrations while rocking my old GQ model escapes the bored room type look.  (Yes I spelled Bored that way on purpose thank you Micro Scoffed very much for the concerns about my tense and /or spelling.)
 
Now back to the beginning.  I have been meaning for more than 6 months to see Charlotte SumTimes perform, following her antics through a variety of sites far longer than that.  Sadly I hadn’t made it out to a show until the past weekend when she kicked off The Last Strip at Attitudes night club in St. Louis.  It was however well worth the wait.  The first thing I learned is not only is Charlotte stunning in pictures but in person the girl is even more ravishing, her confidence and personality are infectious.   The fun and vivacious online persona that I enjoy so much is just a sampling of the live and in person version.  This assessment was made long before the show started as WBRCO and I found our way into the club just as the doors opened and watched the last minute prep, the first hello’s to her friends, and as we settled into place at a high boy table near the front.  Normally when I go places I am hesitant to introduce myself preferring to just take in my surroundings but in this case knowing it would get me a hug from a beautiful woman in a drop dead gorgeous corset of course I opted to be social.  It was easy to see within a few words why she has such a following, there is a personality and ease present that one can’t teach.
The room filled quickly and I’m certain up to capacity by show time.  It had been a few years since I’d been to a burlesque show and more than a decade since I’d been to a drag show so a night that combined both and a few more styles seemed like a good way to shake off the dust.   A few of the others we were expecting bailed so we shared our table with a very cool local couple chatting about the event, the area in general, and other assorted banter until show time.
Every performance was entertaining beginning with the stunning young woman in white preshow cage dancing like a champ for nearly 90 minutes without a break (my apologies for not recalling your name because you surely deserve the mention 3/4 Edit: thanks to FB we determined her name is Cattiva Gattina), the array of styles and body types made my cynical jaded ass feel good about the world for a few hours.   It was Sexy is how you define it for yourself and this night was the embodiment of that.   In a way it was ironic that as I sat in a gay bar watching a burlesque and drag show that I thought to myself that a lot of young women, my own daughters included, could learn a hell of a lot more about happiness and confidence from events like this than self help books, and so called main stream beauty magazines with their unrealistic body types.
 
I watched the wide spread mix of age and orientation cheer the performers without hesitation. I saw a tuck job that while I have no idea how to tuck my junk still makes my balls hurt just thinking about it.  As the night wore on the area by the stage got even more crowded.  I think AJ Marion and her routine broke my heart inside of three minutes reconfirming that no matter what I still have a huge thing for brunettes and can’t help it.
At times I was slightly unnerved by Mona Chase not because of some latent homophobic issue. Her performance was one of the most memorable and the light switch nipples were lunch time conversation at my house on Sunday.   So why was I unnerved?  Because as she put it “I’m not really a girl but I make a really pretty one”.   In fact she was a dead ringer, smile and all for a taller version of my occasional running partner Lexi who is actually a really pretty girl whose ass I’ve been chasing in races for years.   I’m not sure I can ever look at Lexi the same way again.
The crowd was a mix of Gays who had been invaded by a larger number of Straights than is probably typical.   The best part is no one seemed to care which when compared to the closed minded suburban red neckery I see so much in this area was a truly beautiful thing.  As WBRCO and I headed out we ditched our original plans to make a visit the  gentleman’s clubs on the east side opting instead for a late dinner we talked about next time bringing our wives, several other friends, and whether or not The Chesty Blonde would kill me if I signed her up for Charlotte’s Burlesque class.
There were so many other note worth performances I simply can’t cover them all so instead encourage you to catch the April or May version of the show and see for yourself.  If the stars align I’ll be at the May one with my own party in tow.
 

A Wicked Good Time at Wicked Grounds

Wicked Grounds San Francisco LogoLast week I snuck away during my travels (and presidential campaign) to visit and support the Kink Friendly business that is Wicked Grounds on the corner of 8th and Folsom in San Francisco.  I’ve been following them on twitter for a while now and figured what the hell I’m going somewhere I want to.
The first challenge was it was a rainy Tuesday night and oh what to wear.  Do I do the suit thing (or in short not change out of what I had on) by rocking my middle aged banker look.   After a bit of recollection and soul searching I decided that since it wasn’t let’s play banker fetish night there or anywhere that I’ve ever heard of outside of an analyst conference so I’d go with Jeans and a Black T.  It would turn out the other patrons were dressed equally casual and Black attire was not necessarily a requirement.
After hopping out of the Cab and heading a few doors back up 8th I found it.  Pride flags hanging in the windows. Drawing a deep breath I opened the door and headed in.  People were lounging  in the chairs and the massage chair was set up in the back which was tempting after a long day. I made my way to the counter where after perusing the menu I decided to order a milk shake and bottled water.   It was too late for me to go on another coffee bender and whatever I ordered was going to be dinner. I considered the salads but decided to be wicked myself and blow the diet.   The Empanada is still calling my name and another guest ordered a waffle…so much temptation.
I’m always surprised when people are cool to me.  I know that is typically the case for kink things but still I always go in expecting more or less to not be part of the clique.  To stand out like the weird math freak surrounded by an army of lawyers I am underneath it all.  Maybe it is all the pretentious places I go to where that is the reaction in my non kink life. A snooty Maitre D, an arrogant Sommelier who knows less about French and Italian wines than I do, the skinny fucker in the size 38 Armani sneering ay my Psycho Bunny tie and English cut suit.   But this isn’t that type of place Instead I was greeted with a smile and nice hello.  Shhh don’t let the word get out that most kinky folks are actually pretty damn nice it will ruin our image.  I admired the local artists offering of collars, toys, rope, and of course the rope love patches.
In many ways Wicked Grounds reminded me of life in a coffee shop before Starfucks and corporate coffee took over the world.    Instead of the corporately sanitized non offense shades of brown and abstract pictures they have beautiful tasteful photos of rope work adorned the walls, some play clothes on display and real people who just sat around talking, surfing the web, or reading books.  The tables and chairs are an eclectic mix, the building is a classic structure and the long deep interior is reminiscent of restaurants  on Carson Street in my native city.  The biggest plus is probably there wasn’t mini van or mommy’s morning out group type anywhere in sight.
After devouring my shake I picked up a few trinkets for kink friends from around the country said good bye and caught a cab back to the hotel. Note to self if shopping there again take a bag to conceal your finds from nebby industry types in your lobby.   My only regrets are I didn’t make it back for lunch the next day and that I didn’t get the Chesty Blonde a Tank Top with their logo on it.  She has how ever taken over the T I bought so it will be like my favorite Hustler shirt… in her dresser and not mine.
I am considering since roving the country for kink outings and places is become more of a regularity than an oddity if I shouldn’t produce some type of Malflic was here leave behind.  Now I’m off to see if my snazzy new Mexican wresting mask has shipped yet.
As always when I write or talk about a place or product I do it because I want to not for profit. I say how I really feel and pay my own way.  In most cases I look like a misplaced nilla with a bizarre knowledge of rope and knots not found outside of the Scouts or Sailing communities.  That said if you know of a place I might like let me know.

Genitorturers Eye Candy, Imagery and Just Damn Good Music

genitorturers opening tune Fubar in St Louis Nov 2010So it’s a Sunday night and in typical Malflic fashion I am literally flying in to see or do something. This time the Irony is I was flying to St. Louis where my house is for once. I round up a couple of buddies and we head out to Fubar (BTW not far from SLU & Fox more so than actually downtown).  Why the hustle and hurry well the last time Gen was in town doing her Gen XX thing my lovely companion the Chesty Blonde decided we needed to see Mary Fucking Poppins with the kids that night.  Truth is they had a great time but I’ve been a little pissed about it ever since.  So it was time for a little redemption and sin.
The first of three opening acts went on  A guy and a girl and a drum machine – what were their names?  No fucking clue.  15 minutes later they were done…ummm OK moving right along. I don’t mean to be rude but honestly I don’t know their names so even if they were the greatest thing since sliced bread telling you where to find them  next around town would be impossible
Opening Band 2 Fubar St LouisLocal Band number 2 – more my speed their name again no clue.  I looked on the face book event page promoting the show and no luck again so we’ll call them Guitarist in a Black shirt and Man in a Satan Cheerleader outfit.  This one caught my eyes and my ears and if I knew who they were I’d check out a longer set.
Now for the billed opener Mary Magdalan (you can also listen to a few tunes on their face book page) – I’ve been slumming in clubs for years and can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a pretty girl walk on stage who missed the mark.  Fortunately this was not one of those cases still the programmed beats didn’t always translate to real energy on stage like a live drummer can despite it I dug their vibe a lot.  The guitar played jumped off the very low stage into the crowd a few times but it seemed genuine so it worked and made sure people were paying attention.   Visually speaking it was a mix of fog lights and sexy silhouettes which is a shame because a pretty face would help the band sell.  Rule number one guys are perverts and visually stimulated and mixing the singers beauty with her sexy shape and tormented movements could help draw more people in …in my humble opinion.  Other than calling me sir when I told them nice set as they sat at their merch table afterwards it was cool.  Great T’s sadly I didn’t see any of their discs and would have picked one up it I had.
Geniortuers Bumper StickerThe Main event came shortly afterwards.  Genitortuers came and nailed a tight set that mixed a nice amount of their older tunes with songs of last year’s Blackheart revolution.  It was a beautiful mix of sexy and disturbing images with very tight musical execution.  Any show where I spend the night singing along is a good night and they had me from the opening notes.   The backup dancers were amazingly alluring, Gen of course put on a great show and as a mark of true professional played it like it was a packed house.  If you missed them this time you missed something great.  Am I going to hell for being there?  According to the faithful I already am then I hope it’s lined with sexy little dancer types and good rock n roll.  Now my mission is to catch them in a few other cities and drink in the sin a few more times.  (BTW they are in Columbia tonight and then Pittsburgh on Nov 10th so if you’re nearby check them out) Why so few words here?  Simple because other than stopping to snap a few lurid pics here and there I was Geniortuers - Gen w/ Sexy nurseliving and enjoying myself, dancing, singing and banging my head just a little for old times sake.   My last tweet during the event read “words cannot describe how happy I am.” After that I fell into the  show and the scene.
Geniortuers - Sexy Brunette w/ floggerSome unasked for commentary
Here’s one that is not a shocker I like fringe bands and like sub 1000 type shows.  What amazed me though was the ridiculously low turnout (around 75 people) not just for the local folks on stage but for the entire night.  I think it speaks to greater scocio economic factors than I care to cover here but free parking, 20 bucks at the door, and $2.00 beers should have had would be kinksters and college kids from SLU and Wash U cramming the place.  The backup dancers alone were far sexy enough to warrant the cover; granted I’m a deviant.  To the openers I get it your artists but guess what artists need audiences to keep supporting their art so if you happen to see this please DM me on Twitter or FB so I can add your band names and maybe find you around town again for a second look.
To the nice folks in Mary Magdalan – Mingle guys!!!   You have really good merch, decent tunes and a slightly differentmary magdalan - Mary's shape vibe used it for god’s sake.  Look I know most guys outside your show aren’t like me and my 2 buddies.  Yeah we’re  geeks and in our 40’s  but that aside all of us market things and build companies and market things.  You have the start of that angle down great.  Put a light from the front on the singer’s face every now and again. Gzus I watched you chat up the cougar type in the Pussy Worship shirt while getting a drink so take 10 minutes to walk around the rest of the damn bar shaking hands and meeting potential fans.  Make a connection with the people who saw your show and are more than likely updating their facebook and twitter accounts all damn night. If they’re dicks let it go, if they dig you drink it up and learn from what they do and don’t like. Long term it will mean more fans, more sales, and more people there to see you.
As a Side note Diva and I will be checking out Lifehouse this Tuesday at the Pageant this Tuesday so if you see me stop by and say hello.  After that I’m off to Texas for the remainder of the work week with a stop in Austin to catch a few acts there for the first time.  Such is life and my version of the fast lane.  All in all not bad for a guy who shops at Brooks Brothers .
gen cyber good
genitorturers at Fubar in St Louis Nov 2010Genitorturers sexy girl and her sparks 1