Doxy Massager Review

Black Doxy Massasger Vibrating Wand
Has hell frozen over?  Good old Mal has decided to review a sex toy – in this case for the wand vibrator by Doxy Massager?  Well not so sure about hell freezing over because no one has called me to drive the Zamboni but it is true I’ve decided to do a toy review on a vibrator. In my typical fashion I’ve taken a different approach; it doesn’t mean better just different. I bought the damn thing with my own money. Who owns my soul is up for debate but my opinions are beholden to no one.  After all it is the year of the orgasm around here and it’s about damn time those stories start getting told. Now let’s  get this sex toy review buzzing and a woman or two (or more) writhing in pleasure and just maybe a little erotic pain too.

So why a Doxy Massager and not another wand vibrator?

Simple after years of use the Hitachi we had been enjoying died.  Toys aren’t what they once were in my primary relationship but the remaining mini wand we have never really got the job done. Plus with a huge forced O kink my toy bag felt a little incomplete.  In the past year or so a few friends that own Doxy Massagers were raving about them. The weight, the power etc. So add in other reviews on these wand it was time for something new. Besides Doxy Massager has a you tube channel with women reading recipes while one of their vibrators is humming away below screen. Brilliant marketing really, I’ve never been so interested in baking a cake.
All kidding aside our Hitachi did die after years of loyal service. I don’t know how many long forced orgasm scenes you’ve done by hand and mouth lately but as wonderful as they are sometimes you need a little something extra. Additionally being the year of the orgasm around here the lack of a good wand vibrator made the term the “repetitive use injury” come to mind.

So using the Doxy Massager non erotically as a body massager…

I know its sacrilege to not just fire it up and drive someone towards an orgasm but the Doxy despite its primary use these days has its roots in “old fashioned” vibrators allegedly meant for less erotically inclined adventures. Or so they say… Truth is i actually began using it on my calves and the soles of my feet on Saturday after a hard work out when i couldn’t find my muscle stick.   It helped, felt good. So i decided to introduce the new toy to her in a similar manner with a full body massage.
Recently it got put to use on her shoulder and traps.  All in all a good pleasurable massage experience was prided by the vibe but for deep tissue, stubborn muscle knots and the like it is a nice to have but no replacement for other specialty tools overly tight muscle seems to require..

Solo action…using the Doxy Massager for Masturbation

Her- “Quit watching me you fucking perv”  once that was settled and someone was left to their devices with their new device.  So after we go past that  she confessed that is has become a go to for her when “someone’s not around. Which is most of the time”:  And that it has with a change in pressure made it easier to edge herself abd build up towards toward a strong orgasm when needed.
Him-So I’ve never been a use a vibe on my cock kind of guy.  on the few occasions when someone put a vibe on the underside of my erection it was fine and not objectionable but not really something that worked for me beyond those passing moments. In the interest of science I decided to try the Doxy but went in to the adventure after 2 days of fairly rigorous sexual activity.  Actually it was surprising and frankly made me cum far harder than i ever expected let alone when not in a state of sexual over drive.

As a couple…

 So Toys are better when you share them with a friend.  We worked the Wand into our routine several times over a few weeks.  She likes it set low and with very little pressure to begin and only a moderate speed and pressure as it builds.  Unless she’s already been well fucked then start in the middle range and get right to the point.   Much like when we go out to dinner it seemed to work better if I let her “drive” the toy on the way to main course and then she let me “drive” it on the way back home.  Some of that may be communication gaps and differences in pressure angle and what have you.  In both cases the strong and rumbly vibrations were happily received and popular.

Forced orgasm scenes with the Doxy Massager –

At the Time of this review the wand had been used for several multiple orgasm sessions for her but nothing that would be classified as a forced orgasm or denial scene with in a BDSM context.  You know what that means?  when i use the wand that way it will get it’s own post and depending on the parter a picture of a “puddle of sub”

Doxy Massager Vibrator with Male hummingbird pleasure attachmentWith attachments…

 Her – Preferred it without.   Points for giving it a go but wand attachments have never been popular with her so no surprise.
Him -So first up yes the attachment pictured is not “body safe” and was acquired elsewhere solely for the purposes of this review.   That said when attached to the Doxy Massager was really great.   The only reason I even though to try it was I happened to be scrolling through tumblr one day and saw F/M scene with a similar attachment and the guy was all but completely shaking and begging to cum.   I chalked it up to good acting and a mindset I don’t have (shocking right that I’m not a bottom in any way, shape, or form).  Yet the images from that video stuck with me so I bought something similar.  The wand with a well lubed attachment was extremely pleasurable for me.  The orgasm it produced was far more powerful than the one with just the wand a few days earlier.


Vibe Settings – On the Hitachi Magic Wand there was three settings, off, low, and obliterate.  The Doxy Massager offers a far greater range of speed control. Add to that the ability to vary the pressure applied to you subject and the range is almost infinite. From slow and thuddy to vibrating so hard someone might need peeled of the ceiling.  With the good comes a little draw back and that is when playing alone or in a controlled or forced orgasm encounter the buttons and variables were great. Though when trying to do gymnastics maneuvers (or do other things like holding it against her clit while fucking)  Someone kept bumping the damn buttons and changing the speed at the worst times.  Not a insurmountable issue and funny user error in a way until you’ve wrecked her orgasm for the third time that night by accident.
Vibrator Head Shape – the Doxy Massager’s head shape is more oblong than our previous brand of wand allowing for more surface space across her key areas and also better placement and control.  the rounding of the tip also allowed me to play with the angle and pressure being applied
Really Quiet– It was amazingly quiet for what it is.  I don’t know if I my standard of that first noisy two C battery hard plastic vibrator is etched in my mind as the standard for loud but even soy the Doxy is quiet.   It’s not they toy that you’ll need to worry about waking up the negiuhbors but more likely the person you’re using it with/on..
Solid without being Heavy – I had a concern going in that the Doxy  Massager was going to feel like a framing hammer. Maybe it was from other reviews that talked about how it rumbled.  It certainly does rumble but in a very, very good way. Meaning heavy but that couldn’t have been more wrong.   Something about the concept of a deep strong vibrator caused that image in my over active imagination.
No so much a dislike but did require a slightly different approach to tying as part of a predicament bondage scene.  It was a quick tie in not a typical scene so this one will need more research.  Damn anyone want to play predicament bondage games with me and a wand?
Disclaimer – The links in the post are affiliate links.  If you use them and buy something I make a few bucks which in my usual fashion I will use to purchase more toys or rope or use to join porn (ok let’s be honest spanking) sites to review.  No one asked me to provide a review, there’s only me to blame for that call.  There is 46 years of empirical evidence that I pretty much don’t take direction well, do what I damn well please and have serious control issues.  So no one should be surprised.  As mentioned in the opening the Doxy Massager was procured with my own money. In this case the toy was purchased through Tantus who I/We have a variety of products from and may choose to review at some point.  After all it is the year of the Orgasm.  My experience with them (Tantus) and the other products was wonderful.  Plus anyone who throws in a make “Dildos not War” bumper sticker with a previous order appeals to my sense of humor and zeal for creating unique customer experiences.   Said sticker was subsequently was stolen from my desk by a favorite little lesbian. I have forgiven her; after all she REALLY likes dildos..  Recently We (at Malflic) have joined the Tantus affiliate program and may in the future review products they have provided. If and when that does happen, we’ll let you know.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go edit  Lil’s paper on why “Homo Normative and Purity based Sex Education has damaged America’s Sexual Self Esteem”.  And no I’m not kidding about the paper. That apple did not fall far from the tree.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico

No not the movie. This is the Malflic version there’s still a lot of dangerous behavior but no guns and a lot more sex.
So the Vintage themed prompt for Sinful Sunday this past week happened to coincide with my first trip back to Mexico City in nearly 30 years (29 years and roughly 45 days to be exact since I’m moderately OCD). In many ways the man I am today begun in its own right in this same city so long ago. So since nostalgia was the theme let’s relive a little bit of the past. It is was where I first learned to openly balance more than one sexual partner. Note I did not say I did it well. There were hurt feelings, harsh words and more along the way. But at that age things aren’t meant to last anyhow. It was the place where I first truly had anonymous sex with a partner. (in the hallway outside of a disco of course).
In many ways there were a lot of other firsts. Sex in a pool, sex in a hot tub, a tour bus (motor coach not rock star type bus). First time having sex with a woman on her period. And I joined the mile high club on the flight home. It was the only time I ever bought condoms with a picture of a pregnant woman on the box. Which still seems odd. First girl from Michigan, 2nd girl from Michigan, two Latina’s, followed up with a month long summer romance with a girl from my area that ended VERY badly as I did the honest thing and told her I was still going to Philly to see the often referenced Traci (my first Kinky girlfriend).
It was odd for me to be in the back of a blacked out car heading back to the hotel across town before midnight after having wondered through some of the same downtown markets again with friends. Memories of all those things and more swimming through my mind.
One night I had the driver divert to try to find the hotel I had stayed at and secretly hoped the cheesy disco was still across the street. I had friends there try to find out if the Flamenco and Mariachi guitar club I had played in still existed. All with no luck. Lost to time, nothing more than a fleeting a memory.
In my room I watched from the wall of windows the night club on the roof top 10 stories or so below and across the street. I could hear the music, feel the beat if I sat still while watching the brightly colored pulsating lights illuminating the revelers. Alone in the dark, in the distance a voyeur completely content with where I was and no desire to try to recreate the past.
At a lunch meeting I was asked if I had ever visited before. My hosts agreed it must have been a great party for an American to be there at that time. I smiled knowingly and agreed without offering any details of the sex, the drinking, or the fact that it was on that trip that someone bought me my first kinky toy as a gift. The Bull whip that lives in the bin of wickedness to this day. It was like so many other things a sign of things to come, things that I hadn’t fully realized the meaning of yet. Once upon a time in Mexico it seems like this entire thing, my fucked up life, my realization and acceptance that what I wanted was not “normal” really started in earnest.
This time instead of a lover I brought home candy. And instead of a bull whip it was new shoes. Lightning never strikes twice and that is perfectly fine with me. Things are complicated enough.

That's what Lovers are for

“Pleasssee Michael” she would utter with the cutest little voice and wide seductive smile, flipping her hair and tilting her head in a mock pleading motion. It was really kind of hot, it worked for me. Of course I would say no repeatedly, decline her every request multiple times before of course giving in.
She was too young, a beautiful woman but in many ways a kid nearly 20 years my junior. Then she asked “How many lovers do you keep?” Now this was not a person or place where my inclinations are known.
“I’m married” flowed effortlessly off my lips.  She batted her deep dark eyes, smiled even wider…such a beautiful mouth I was captivated and she damn well knew it.  . “You like women too much. Men like that always have lovers.” She had my number.
I shrugged “my lovers… are… well different.” A somewhat worried look crossed her face “Different? Men?” she asked like whatever strange appeal I had to her was quickly fading. I laughed and she blushed “No not men. They are just not lovers in the way that most people would think of.” the look on her face made it clear that again it was lost in translation.
“My lovers are special friends.   We do different things.”
She lit up like the sun “But that is what lovers are for.”

How to (almost) pick up women in a bowling alley without trying

Mans hand holdiong a bowling ballLife as always is unpredictable and most of the time that is part of the fun. The question is how does a guy in his mid 40’s meet a group of very pretty women in their mid to late 20’s who spend the next few hours chatting him up and  trying to get him drunk?  The answer is simple he has to make an ass of himself in front of a large group and then (omitting overly damning facts) tell the story behind it. Which is my good friend Jade who I absolutely adore is a very bad influence on me.


It’s a Monday night. I’m on the road at a less than buttoned down corporate event…one in which I was actually having fun.   As part of the above mentioned raven haired beauty’s bad influence I set up with a friend to video me rolling a bowling ball backwards into the waiting bowlers.  No one else is in on the gag. So there i amd standing at the edge of the lane like a fool, I draw my arm back and with a clank and the unmistakeable sound of a rolling bowling ball launch it back wards toward the onlookers. It came off pretty well as my own staff yell at me for sucking at bowling. After a little while a group a few lanes down from ours approaches me and asks what happened.


Thinking nothing of it “oh I did it because I promised a friend i would.”


She looked at me incredulously “really?”
The inquiry was doubting in nature. I simply smiled, probably shrugged, and headed back to my own little party.  A little time passes and the hostess of the event asked if I drink Jager Bombs.


We’d been chatting all night and just thought it was passing banter. A few minutes later one of the ladies from down they way; a tall and strikingly pretty brunette with bright green eyes walked up. “It was for a girl wasn’t it?” I looked at  .  Her not necessarily understanding the question. “You threw ball backwards on purpose for a girl.”


Thinking to myself after all why would a guy intentionally make an ass of himself. I simply nodded and smiled at her. She beamed and asked “tequila?” Not realizing I was agreeing to anything simply replied “tequila?” Intending it as a question. She bounced away, easy come and and easy go. Only later realizing that she was buying me a shot when she arrived back at my lane carrying a tray filled with them showed up.

Smiling coyly at me “no training wheels…you’re man enough right?” Noticing the lack of lime and salt figured out what she meant. The game was on…three shots downed in about as many minutes.  She shook her head and made lovely sounds as the liquor burned her throat…I drank each perfectly stoically and no chaser.

I passed at continuing at the pace. She asked a lot of questions and I heard how sweet I was. Occasionally she was downing another drink. My own group was introduced to my new and growing group of friends.

She invited me to go out with her group…I declined. She badgered me to walk across the parking lot to a crowded bar across the way. “We can dance a little”  Again I passed.

She batted her eyes, touched my arm, amped up the flirting to down right suggestive and nearly irresistible.   I remained unmoved.

The truth is I couldn’t have left with her if I wanted to there were junior people present but the reality was I didn’t want to go along.  “Do you always tell pretty girls no” she badgered me in one last attempt to get me to join  her…she did pouty very well.

“No, only the the truly beautiful ones. I always make them wait.” I smiled and headed out into the night, hopped into the back seat of a waiting car and disappeared into the darkness.

So how do you you get a group of beautiful women to buy you drinks? Apparently you throw a bowling ball backwards to give a friend a laugh tehn refuse to get drunk with your new acquaintances, and give off every vibe you know how that says “yes you’re really fucking hot but I’m not going to  try pick you up.”   Who would have guessed I play hard to get so well? Well there might be a few of you.

Landscapes and Other Assorted Perspectives

I wanted to call this post “Molly Made me Do It” & the truth is I did decide to take the landscape photos based on an exchange of notes between us but beyond that it really was a lot of fun for me but more about that a little later.
Las Vegas Strip ant Night from the Top of Mandalay Bay
I haven’t written about it much in recent years but I get to live an amazing life even outside of my kinks.  And yes there is always demands on my time and never enough time for the fun stuff but the picture above is an example of how lucky I really am. I get to see and travel to a lot of major places and occasionally make my way off the beaten path.
Cherry Blossom Display in Palazzo Las Vegas
Life is most often filled with Beautiful Places and things.  All dolled up and glamorous, food for the eyes, fuel for creativity, and of course a respect for the artists that can create such displays.  This picture was taken when my fits of insomnia led me to be out and walking between two hotels though the indoor mall right at the break of day.
Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas
And Increasingly I find that parts of my life have begun to blend together. That serendipity,   good fortune or just plain old dumb luck seem to for the most part be working in my favor.  That random things like passing a hotel that had just earlier in the day been discussed with a friend half a world away would ironically be the way my cabbie took me to the airport.   And those little things make me smile and distract me from all the other demands for a few moments.
KansasAs always nothing goes as planned but that isn’t necessarily bad since on the way back after delays as the old saying goes “good things come to those who wait”.  In this case I loved how the angle of the sun made the desolate Oklahoma landscape look like it was filled with deep blue ponds. it seemed to fit perfectly the largely different landscapes of the country.
Chicago Lake Shore from the sky
Yet only a few hours later catching Chicago’s shoreline from the air at sunset gave it a deep blue ocean hue rather that the murky brown. the sky and the water meld together as the light of the day escaped. The simplicity of the field had given way to the hurried streets of a major city.
NY NY Hotel and Casino of a Sunny Spring Afternoon
But the one thing that often gets lost whether it’s the real city streets or recreated one like you see here.
Parasol down wynn las vegas
The facade and glamor of a high end place or the truly special a lingering dinner lake side with friends and laughter…and yes beautiful women.
Las Vegas from the air
Eventually everything will go sideways. it’s unavoidable.  Then again it’s all about perspective.  the first photo in this post was taken from the top of the Strip. This was taken from the plane on my way out of town. I left it sideways on purpose because that is how often things feel in my world.   that they are not aligned, that when you look beyond the pretty shapes, the pretense and the facade it is a few fleeting memories, time with friends, a few words typed or exchanged and what ever stolen moments we can get away from the obvious that matters.  When it comes to stage attire it is mean to be viewed at a distance otherwise you run the risk of seeing through the illusion and fantasy. Life is the opposite you need a little distance to be able to truly see the beauty and what is real, even if that’s not what you expected.
The truth is I’m often envious of my fellow bloggers photos.   I tried earlier this year to do a 365 project on another site of mine and it was after a few weeks an utter failure.  Since then I started shooting a pic every now and again and sending it to a friend as a way to stay in touch and also be a bit of a tease…well weather wise anyhow.  This week since i couldn’t send sunshine back to the UK for Molly I added her to my very short list of folks to share pictures with.  In a way it was odd for me.  After all I love her photography and find the images she takes and shares so memorable and well constructed that the concept of sending her my feeble attempts seemed odd but none the less fun. I don’t normally shoot people but rather have an obsession with places and hallways.  Mainly because that is the place when walking thing lengths that I most often get to have my thoughts to myself. And perhaps I’ll add landscapes to the city scapes I’m so often fond of. I’ve not written these words of late but much of the time I do live alone in very public spaces, and that works because it lets me disappear into the night just often enough with friends and loves to make the rest of it all worth while.
On a personal level  life continues to change and evolve if only my relationship status was complicated things would be better however since that’s not the case I’ll just role with it and enjoy the friends i have when I can find the time. I’m working on updating my sexual bucket list and had a noteworthy and often not talked about experience this past week that I’ll share shortly.

An Unsolicited Cane-Iac Customer Experience

First off as always when I talk about a product, publication, or company let’s get the facts straight right up front. Just like usual in this case what you are about to read is my own experience, no one asked me to write it, no compensation was given, and I spent my own money on the stuff. I’m not in any way affiliated with them and have nothing to gain if you buy their goods. Generally speaking we don’t do product reviews unless it’s on gear we bought to support our kinks and play. There will be one exception in the near future of a toy review by AK & LR and it will be properly noted as such. But we will hold to the same standards of honesty about the experience and quality.
So let’s begin. As most of you know spanking was my first kink and remains one of the mainstays. For years I’ll admit that I’ve been aware of Cane-Iac, seeing their products in the occasional video (Dana Kane tips for Tops, etc) and surfing their site thinking about what it might be nice to have. Recently I began refreshing some of my kink and other sex toy stuff (rope, vibes, plugs, paddles, etc) and decided to add some more sting to my very thud heavy assortment of impact toys. Who knows maybe I’ll find some who likes sting to play with or maybe I’ll just be a sadistic prick.
So I sent an @ reply to Alice on twitter with a link to their site and looped them in as well. It was a classic case of social media selling at work. The good folks over at the company mentioned an upcoming sale and provided a discount code (they provided the same code in a general tweet a day later). It’s not meant as a knock, there is nothing wrong with selling and I was an active prospect long before the tweet went out. In fact it’s meant as a compliment because I went from intending to buy a strap (or two) to getting 5 times that (Rubber and Acrylic paddles anyone?). Why because I had a coupon and well you can never have too many toys, in particular slappy whacker things (an obviously non technical term for paddles, canes, and straps)!
Since the one bottom I play with and ask for input from neglected to provide any feed back or wish list items what is an evil top to do? Ask again? Wait patiently? Hell no I picked out things I wanted and a few I thought she might absolutely hate due to the sting level.
So I filled my basket, signed up for an account so I could easily get more down the road if the need arouse and then checked out via PP using my beloved black card. You know because it matches my soul perfectly!
So this is where Cane-Iac’s efficiency began to stand out. I got my receipt, a thank you email, and another follow up. Sure it was automated but the verbiage was well structured, appreciative and not pitchy, meaning they didn’t try to up sell me anything else. In fact they not only thanked me but made sure I was aware of their 100% satisfaction policy. It’s one thing to mention it up front but to be so committed to their customer’s happiness even after the sale made them once again stand out in the best light possible. Anyone who uses Go Daddy or Vista Print knows that up sell routine and it was completely absent and very much appreciated. Less than two days later I received the shipping notification and then the tracking info! Now there was nothing to do but wait and hope Mother Nature didn’t disrupt anything, and for once she didn’t.

A Sample of the great pacaking on Mal's order from Cane-Iac
Yes Mal’s a Giant NERD & was impressed with the packaging.

The box arrived as promised, unmarked and not a single hint of the wonderful kinkiness contained inside. Yes I know they said it would be discreet but in fact it really was and completely so. The contents were well packed, the implements were gathered in two bundles of bubble wrap and the top of the carton was filled with additional packing material to ensure things arrived without shifting or being damaged in transit. The packing slip was clear, concise and easy to read even with my old eyes.
Typically I’m not a guy who worries about price but the ability to get a number of new toys to try for the price I did is what really led to adding more to what I originally had planned.
Green Rubber spanking Paddle
This little thing packs some serious sting!

So for my money (roughly 90 dollars U.S.D. including shipping) I got a wonderful assortment of things including a rubber paddle that will make a few people crawl right out of their skin. I had been coveting the above mentioned rubber paddle since seeing a similar one in Atlanta last fall elsewhere for 45 dollars. Even when it comes to me who wants to spend that kind of money on a toy that someone may safe word out of after a few swats but for 11 bucks it was worth a try. A test slap on the palm of my hand confirmed how wicked the damn thing is. (insert a giant evil grin)
A purple acrylic paddle because I’m a sucker for color when it comes to rope and sex toys and the idea of a bright purple acrylic paddle was too much to pass up for the price of three cups of coffee. Two straps (an otk model and a much more wicked full sized one), and a naughty stick (come on I had to buy a little something wooden). When they arrived every item was in good condition, clean, and the ones with a loop had a small removable tag on it with their logo.
And there was one more positive- a quite unexpected thank you gift in the box.  That until I took a moment to realize it had been intentionally included by reading the note attached had me trying to remember if i ordered the item or if it had been included in error and how to go about making sure they got paid for it.
And to think it all started because I wanted a leather strap to use OTK so I could leave my belt on. Certainly there will be a few bottoms that are either thrilled or worried…either way is just fine. Now to arrange to give all then new stuff a proper test run. Hmmm.  Any takers?
Just a final reminder:
No one asked me to write this and frankly I didn’t ask for permission either.   We don’t plan on doing reviews for money, free products, or any other such reason as a regular part of the site now or in the future. Not that there is anything wrong with it but it’s just not part of our (ok MY) plan. This site is a labor of love and even though I’m a corporate whore monger and money grubbing pagan by day (with really great wing tips) this site is not and never will be about such things.

– Mal

A Very Special Night of Supporting Love & Freedom

A Very Special Night of Supporting Love & Freedom
Purple stiped high heel shoeRecently I was extremely honored to be invited to a friend’s surprise engagement party.  It would be a first for me in a lot of ways beginning with I’ve never actually gone to an engagement party let alone a surprise one.   Rarely do I become emotional but was in fact truly touched by being included as part of the event.   It was scheduled for Valentine’s Day and after working through logistics with Chesty Blonde and the Kids I committed to being there with a plus one that was TBD (the Blonde, one of the kids, or perhaps a date to be named later).
Fast forward to this past Wednesday,  a message that the plans have changed due to travel demands shows up.   Trust me I get this one having missed the chance to spend some over due time with a friend last month because my own plans changed (and I’m still really bummed about it).  So the fire drills began, I had the easy part, just show up. After committing to being there without out checking anyone else’s calendar in the house.   This is sticking with the new and improved 2014 plan of doing what I want and fuck the rest of you.  Later informing my girls of the change and inviting all of them to join me.  My plus one is now a plus three.   Not exactly a date night but with two teenage daughters the idea of going to a surprise engagement party was a bit too much to resist.   While that may sound gender biased it’s not meant to be so bear with me a little.
Friday morning the house I buzzing (by morning I mean about 1pm for them and 7 hours into my work day). The procession of three beautiful women getting ready begins at roughly 2 (we’re not leaving until 6pm).   Everyone is excited, all of us can’t wait to get there, to be with some of my other friends, to enjoy a great meal at an interesting place and to see the entertainment which was a top notch drag show of course along with the surprise marriage proposal thrown in the middle.   Even the Blonde who hedged a bit the night before based on weather concerns is really into it.
We pile into the car. Excitement is in the air and mixing with their perfumes.  All are stunning and of course I’m dressed as one would expect, a bit too formally and slightly reserved.   The conversation buzzes incessantly with questions about the night’s schedule, the plans, and random lines from songs not related to anything else as the GPS screams through the din telling us missed yet another turn.   We arrive right at the appointed time, not early as I had hoped but on time is a small victory in our world. The weather held out and we enter the establishment.  Let the fun and surprises begin!
Most of the group is already seated including the guest of honor.  We wave and say hello.  Then a young man with the best skin I have ever seen and immaculate eyebrows arrives to take our drink order. He is even by my estimation drop dead gorgeous so as the girls swoon the debate begins on whether or not to ask who does his brows (he does them himself). The cocktails begin to flow for the adults and Lil (my 15 year old) is in full blown shoe envy with all the heels in the place.   After an hour (Drag Queen time of course) the show began. This was the first drag show any of my girls had ever been too.  The Blonde said it was so much better than the stripper her friends got her when they were in college, Diva waived dollars at the ladies as they passed by marveling at their makeup and confidence, and Lil after stunning the hostess during a little playful banter with her age concluded that her own style of conversation is more akin to a sassy queen than a nice Midwestern girl which is just fine by her.
The establishment was classy in a wonderfully tacky kind of way, the food was very tasty.  The stage split the tables in the main floor dining area. The Queens were wonderful, friendly, playful,  and the costumes exquisite.  The ladies took obvious pride in their work.  Their body types ranged from tall and thin to very curvy, hmmm just like real people not the models we see on TV. Of course the show was the rouse, the reason for an early Tim Gunn type Valentine’s Day Surprise with the guests as the surprise. And yes B was surprised but the best was yet to come when his partner C got up on stage and sang to him.   It was beautiful and touching, then came the proposal.  B was completely blindsided, it was unexpected, a complete surprise.  No one could take their eyes off the couple.  It was as close to a scene from a romantic movie as I’ve ever been a part of.  The Tiffany’s box came out and the room went silent.  He said yes! Of Course he said yes and then the cheers began.  A few moments later as the MC tried her best to get the show back underway it took a few minutes for everyone and everything including gobs of complete strangers to settle back down.
My girls looked on in wonder.   I couldn’t take my eyes off of B.   I have run countless miles with the man and never seen him so winded, so overwhelmed, and completely off guard.   None of us could have been happier for them, the girls sneaking closer to see his ring at the very first chance.  After the show concluded we began our goodbye’s all of us very grateful for having been included in such a special night for the boys.  As I said my farewells I grabbed B and hugged him.   It is out of character for me to initiate a hug with rare exception.  I’m not normally a person who shows his emotions but I had a sense of joy that even my old cynical heart can’t deny.   In the end, after all is said and done seeing two people so in love is a powerful thing.
Congratulations to both of you.  May you have a lifetime of happiness together!
I would have wanted to be there no matter what for friends who asked but will admit that it took on even more importance to me and frankly to the girls because these friends are a same sex couple. We’re lucky that we have people of all orientations, relationships types, and backgrounds as part of our everyday lives.  In a way it was also form of political and religious protest for all of us, we believe it doesn’t matter who you love.  In the hope that by being there perhaps maybe someone else will see the light that it doesn’t matter who chooses to love each other, that love is all that really matters.
These are friends of mine who know nothing of my own lifestyle other than as a family we very openly support the right to love who you choose.  They have no idea that I write about sex, that I participate in the things that I do, or have the complicated relationships that I have.  More importantly we weren’t there as the Malflic’s but as family unit under our real names.  The pictures and comments are on our birth names social sites, all of which are more popluar than anything I do here.  Ironically if I opt to share my feelings of how special this night was with them, how amazing it was to be part of it through this post it will in my own way be a coming out of sorts.
Finding that connection that makes everything feel special is the important thing and I can’t say it enough how much fun we had, how special the evening will be for all of us for years to come and how proud we are to have such wonderful friends.

Dark Secret Love – A Story of Submission by Alison Tyler- A Review

Dark Secret Love - A Story of Submission book coverI don’t read a lot of bondage and S&M erotica, I’m more of a live it or how to book kind of guy.  As a matter of fact this is the first full length kink novel I’ve picked up in decades (excluding anthologies).   So early on I found myself both engrossed in “Dark Secret Love” and frankly a bit disturbed, though not in a bad way.  It’s supposed to be at least in part a fantasy, I get that.  The story is well structured, well edited, and moves along quickly.  Samantha (Sam) the female submissive lead is endearing, young, of course pretty, and at times lost; in a youthful kind of way.  Though aren’t we all at 22?   Perhaps her most endearing feature is she’s not portrayed as weak.  She is strong, just on her own terms.
What struck me though, what haunted me more than a few times through the book was the body language, the words and in some cases the actions of the Dominants.  Not because they were so far flung they weren’t believable because they were often a little close to home.  Of course there was a bit of fantasy woven in to keep things humming, make the characters more interesting, sexier, etc. but if you’ve been to a few dungeons or have those kinky fantasies nothing really was a deal breaker.  The discomfort was not because they fit the cliché of the stereo type dim witted or usurious Top, secret rituals or even the “lost innocence” of a yet to be known in the biblical sense let alone kinky young woman that has sold so well elsewhere.  Again allowing for a bit of poetic license the characters were in essence real.  What drew me in, what caught me off guard and disturbed me and made it so I didn’t put the book down but chose to read it more or less straight through was that it seemed like someone had been looking in and listening to me play, fuck, and live somewhere along the way.
That is part of the beauty of the writing. It is done in a way where the characters are strong and solid but not so defined that it doesn’t allow the reader to imagine people they know, or fantasize about and place them in to the story.   I heard words roll off their lips that I’ve said or heard uttered in one way or another.  The Tops tap in to Sam’s “needs” while making her own her desires and verbalize them;  which outside of the pages of a book is a huge kink of mine.  If being forced to tell another person your desires or making someone tell you what they want and why is a big turn on for you then this book will leave more than aroused in a few places.
So with the names changed from the author’s own life how much has been embellished it’s hard to say but it is an enjoyable book none the less.   Heavy on impact play (mainly spanking) and a bit of restraint and other kinks it ties into both Sam’s own feelings and head space nicely without being pure action or turning it into a love story.   The plot was laid in a refreshing light and was done in a way that was not over wrought lost little girl “Oh god come save me” type of emotions.  She knew what she liked, what she wanted, and even what she needed.  While certainly letting others take the lead like a good submissive she went into new situations with those secrets hidden but no so well that others couldn’t see them.
Over all a fun escape for those so inclined looking for hot scenes and sex with a M/F orientation.
Disclaimer: As always honesty and openness works best for me.  I was contacted by the publisher and given this book review at no cost me.  No other compensation has been offered nor would it have been accepted. As I have said before this site is not about money and never will be.   Had I not liked it would have said so and told you why. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have someone read me a few of the scenes and watch her blush while she tries to figure out whether I’m just making her read or am I planning to play rough.

#EroticonUSA After the Fact and Before the Drop Malflic’s Take

#EroticonUSA After the Fact and Before the Drop Malflic’s Take
Before even leaving brunch I had called a few friends telling them “You have to come next time”. While at the airport I was texting a few others who have been writing longer and far better than me taunting them a bit with what they missed but offering to share what I had learned in calls or meet ups in the next few weeks.
On the flight back at a few points I wanted to just hug the beautiful woman next to me and say “Do you know how amazing this weekend was?” I did manage to hold back for two reasons, one you shouldn’t just hug random women who aren’t expecting it. That is completely out of bounds; however in this case it might have been OK since we know each other (plus well I was dying just a little to hug her again). Still I refrained. And secondly she was there too and already knew how great it was.
Moving beyond the euphoria and surreal moments throughout the event, the time with friends both old and new and a whole host of other thoughts and feelings I’m still reflecting on, swimming in, and will surely write about even if I don’t share them. So until then here are just a few points should you ever be considering going to an Eroticon event somewhere in the world somewhere down the road.
1) It was well run – stepping outside of my sex blogger role and looking at it through a professional lens. I attend roughly 20 events a year as part of my profession, some at very high end establishments and some of which I spend thousands of dollars to be at. Very few have the touch that this event did. The email updates were clear, concise, and kept me informed. The social media kept reminding me, and the folks running it were accessible. If you want a detailed comparison of what really worked email or call me because I know both sides of that coin and would be all too happy to share.
2) Content was King – So often when you go things there is always a come on, buy more stuff, elusive posturing, competitive positioning and what not. In the sessions I sat in the presenters were open, genuine, and perhaps most important passionate. They offered what they knew without holding back and were incredibly generous with their knowledge, time, in sight in ways that were far beyond expected. Several household names and analyst firms should take a lesson from these folks and Ruby.
3) We’re all just real people – Did I meet everyone? No and shame on me for not doing so. But I met a lot of people. Some of who were larger than life (My heart jumped the first time Molly left a comment on my blog so meeting her in person was even more amazing), there were others who I’ve been huge fans of, and some I hadn’t communicated with much before. Everyone I met was open, welcoming, and accepting. I left with closer friendships and countless ones I never expected.
4) It wasn’t just writers – seems a bit odd on the surface right? After all it was an event for sex writers. But people far brighter than me included their spouses, partners, etc in the event even if they weren’t bloggers, published, or aspiring writers. And to the previous bullet it made it an even richer experience for everyone.
5) Hugely Inspirational & Highly Educational – The energy was amazing. Sure that speaks to the people, the time and the place but it had that magic feeling about it. There wasn’t a single conversation with anyone where I wasn’t made a better writer, geek, or even person (or sadist). I like to think the people on the other end would feel the same way.
6) Size Matters – and in this case the size was about right with plenty of room to grow. The event offered enough attendees to not feel overwhelmed yet was not so small that there wasn’t enough diversity. In the future hopefully it will grow; double and maybe even triple. That would be a great thing for everyone because it means not only more information, friends, and events but it always means that maybe in some small way our writing and efforts are making the world a slightly better, more accepting, and open place.

Simply Shameless

Alice Sporting her Shameless Grounds Panties
Our beloved co contributor Alice King with her pants down and bending over…which is one of the (many) ways we like her best.   The panties are from the St. Louis Sex Positive Coffee Shop Shameless Grounds and were a gift from Mal.  We bet she’ll spend a lot of time bent over next week but during very little of it, if any, will her bottom covered in anything other than a very, very, well spanked shade of red (and purple).  Or at least that’s the goal!
Sinful Sunday