Taking Matters Into my Own Hands – Masturbation Kink of the Week

Masturbation – Kink of the Week
It’s the year of the Orgasm around here so it only fits that I sit down in earnest and talk about Masturbation. Something I’ve not really done very much (writing about it that is). I’ll start with the questions Molly has posed as part of the topic then see where the mind goes from there. For all the things I can and do write about Masturbation in terms of my own practices has never been much of an area of literary focus for me. It has gotten little more than passing mention until a recent post. Yet as you’ll see it has factored into my own sexuality; that of my partners, and so many other parts of my sex life for as long as I can remember. It’s almost certain that writing this will cause me to pause, reflect, perhaps laugh, and at times be deeply uncomfortable with what I’m sharing. It seems so very personal but that may be tied to youthful misconceptions on the topic. So taking matters into my own hands let’s get this novella of self-pleasure (and the mishaps) masturbation has led to started.

Are you a regular wanker?
I love this question! And starting off on a humorous note. I am a fucking massively huge wanker in many people’s book. As for my actual wanking well that depends on the time period although masturbation is certainly part of my sexuality and sexual routine. Working from now backwards to once upon a time. Given my theme for the blog this year I have seen the amount I masturbate compared to the past two or three years increase in order to hit my 3 orgasm a week minimum target. In a lot of ways it’s made me a better more patient lover when with a partner so that’s a good thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with the occasional hard fast just need to cum grudge fuck. So why the slowdown in the preceding years? In part I’m sure it was age, some of it was lack of time, and a general frustration with my actual sex life/partner. Just about everything involving sex mad me angry rather than stimulated and enjoyable. (A post on what else changed seemingly for the better will come out next week.) So perhaps some insight into why I picked three orgasms a week. Three is the number that (historically) keeps me from being on edge and a sexually frustrated asshole. Generally speaking I have good control when playing with an established partner and the ability to last. It’s also a manageable number given a variety of options in a busy life..

 
When did you first start masturbating?
The first time who knows? Like most males I knew I liked having a penis fairly early on. As for using it for any form of pleasure (other than writing my name with piss in the snow) with any regularity and purpose was around 11 (and in the 5th grade). In those days my early my masturbation fodder was of course my class mates. By 13 I could Jerk Off (nearly) endlessly…and did. Three or four times a day at points for days (or weeks) on end. It was well into my 20’s. It wasn’t uncommon and always it was based on based on how sexually active I was elsewhere. More than two days without cumming and it was time to take matters into my own hands. For the most part even with daily sexual activity I would still use masturbation two or three times a week for additional sexual releases.

Was it a wonderful discovery or a shameful secret? “Maybe you were bought up in a environment where you were taught that touching yourself was ‘devils play.”
I’m not sure it was shameful but it was certainly a secret (at first). While the concept of it being a sinful action never came from home the good Catholics around me made sure we knew that “any type of sexual pleasure that was not open to the possibility of conception and within the confines of a marriage was a sin.” So of course that made it all the more appealing. Yet looking back self gratification was the punch line of endless jokes about hairy palms, going blind, and something the mentally ill did.

In retrospect there probably was an element of embarrassment that kept it from being a topic of conversation during those years. Still I didn’t lie awake at night worrying that blowing my load into a tissue was going to get me a hotter place in hell. I never thought I’d go blind but a few times did think I might wear down the head of my penis. Of in the best case scenario end up with a huge callous on the underside of the head. No I’m not kidding, I had wondered/worried about that at a few points.

How did this effect you and your exploration of your self pleasure?
It really didn’t. Other than being somewhat discreet and it not being a topic of open and honest conversation even with sexual partners and friends my self exploration and masturbation morphed and changed. It included using various lubricants to keep from getting sore/raw. At first Vaseline and at times huge amounts of it. Then was the discovery of KY lube first used on me for a hand job by a girlfriend that got added to my own arsenal. As my sex life became more regular I would jerk off into condoms, as a way of trying new brands and seeing how they fit and felt before using them with a partner.
Sheik were always a favorite. Durex had some great one and at the time Trojans felt like your dick as in an inner tube. Thankfully they have gotten much better.
 
Do you like to use sex toys when you masturbate? Maybe you have a favourite toy or maybe you prefer the joys of your own hand/fingers and nothing else.
My own hand is by far the preferred method. I’ve become more particular about lube type (Sliquid followed by Astroglide because they have one use travel sized lubes) if given a choice but not so much so that it’s a requirement. On very rare occasion I’ll add a bullet vibe on my balls for extra oomph. It does increase the intensity of my orgasm just like when the same tactic or a hand is used for additional stimulation during other sexual acts.
Over the years I’ve masturbated with a number of different sex toys; most of them are not at all noteworthy and all but a few were gift from partners. Here are a some examples.
Penis Pump for Masturbation
The very first was a penis pump from a college girlfriend. She bought it a porn shop on a Friday night so you can imagine the quality but back then it felt adventurous. The pump occasionally (maybe 3 times) saw some solo play. Mainly she liked to watch me use it and was fascinated by both the size change in my cock as it hardened and also my orgasm. Literally it was almost a question and answer session every time. More of a play by play rather than taking dirty but no complaints.
 
 
Pocket Pussy Jerk off male masurbator
Another lover gave me an old school mouth themed masturbator to use when she’s “not available to blow me”. It was fine but never a favorite and the cleaning and storage of that damned jelly thing and other pocket pussy themed jerk off toys are probably why I’ve never even seriously considered a Fleshlight (which has to be an improvement).
 
 
 
 
Magic Wand Vibrator Penis Head Male Masturbation attachment
 
Just this year I’ve added some male third party attachments that go on the Doxy I bought for the Blonde. It was done on a whim based on a short video clip on Tumblr and really as an act of cynicism. I expected to be underwhelmed at best but have to admit they feel awfully damn good and produce ball draining orgasms no matter how much or how recently I’ve cum. Toy wise these are by far my favorites ever with the “Vibrating Head” being favored over the “humming bird” model. Eventually I’m hoping to find silicon versions of them some point.
 
 
 
 
Does masturbation feature in your relationship?
My Primary relationship it really doesn’t. In fact it’s something that has never really been discussed in detail and makes her feel deeply uncomfortable. I blame religion and the shame it carried in her youth. It’s a nod and a wink kind of thing. Masturbation has/does at other times feature as part of the relationship with other partners. More so theirs than mine.
 
Is watching your partner getting off is seriously hot or something that makes you uncomfortable?
Hot? Yes! Seriously fucking hot. So rather than retell history here are two examples. Watching Her Cum from a few years back and another partner who briefly re-entered my world in Spanked and Self Gratification. Watching my partners get them selves off really works for me, it can have a D/s component to it, teach me about how they like to be touched, how they react when they are near the edge, and when they go crashing over it into that ecstasy that is an orgasm.
Or course it doesn’t end there. Looking ahead I have a few scenes that will feature my partner’s masturbation in front of me that will hopefully get played out. The settings are picked. The build up’s planned and the toys arranged for (or identified). It turns me on just thinking about what I’ll get to see, and learn about them as they get themselves off in a variety of ways.
 
Alternatively how do you feel about being watched?
This one is a mixed bag. And that is based on mixed experiences I’ve had when being watched. Penis Pump girl was fun and harmless. I was young and in peak shape so you could watch me doing anything at any time I could have cared less. Add to it that I’m not a CFNM kind of guy. A lot of guys are and get off on that which is great for them.
A Neutral Masturbation Experience
One partner liked to suck me hard, have me masturbate to the point of release and then would take my cock in her mouth and then get off on vigorously swallowing my cum. I neither really liked or disliked this and at times thought it was a bit inattentive on her part. Yet there was some internal narrative in her head that was never shared but made it hot for her so I’d play along. Oh did I mention I got to have an orgasm so who could blame me?
Positive Being Watched Experience – “Cum on me Here”
Mutual Masturbation counts right? She was a bit of a “cum junkie”. Yes an impolite term but her words not mine. She would strip and tell me “Cum on me here…” the location always changed though stomach seemed to be most popular as she would try to time her own orgasm shortly after mine. Excluding ears and nose at one time or another I came on about every of her and much of that was masturbating while she watched.
Negative Experiences of Being Watched – I have been asked to be watched and had a few react negatively when they did. Not my kink that’s for sure. Frankly bothered me then and even now when I think about it. Who knows what they were wanting or expecting? At the time I was young(ish) and it turned me off to the idea of being watched while masturbating. Watching my partners is much more fun for me and always has been.
What do you think about when you masturbate?
What do I think about? You! My partners, what we’ve done and what I want to do to (or with) them. My kinks play a big part of all of my sexual out lets. I think about what turns them on, what makes them cum, what they let me do to them because it gets me off. Equally important is probably telling you what isn’t thought about, Nothing that is pure vanilla, if it pure fucking and not true kink it’s hard and fast. Heaving breaths and bodies colliding with ample lust filled force. But mostly it’s kink or kink related sex.
 
Is there a favourite, orgasm guaranteed, fantasy that you like to think about?
Continuing with the answer above. Spanking is a go to for my orgasms. She is bend over bared and marked, She quivers at the thought of another swat, can barely take it but does to please me, to test me, or to see if I can break her will to take everything I will put her through. There are always others but the go to ones always involve her submission to me in some way. shape, or form. Whether waiting for me under a table to finish so she can orally please me, letting me edge her time and again until she begs to cum. You get the idea
Do you like to watch porn, or maybe you prefer the stimulation of the written word?
It’s a mix of everything but mainly my own fantasies. Look i write a sex blog so porn is like coffee in the morning, pretty normal.  Not surprisingly BDSM, Bondage and Fetish/Spanking Porn is a fairly regularly consumed item for me but I don’t watch it specifically to masturbate to but can be a go to thing for me there is a bank of scenes I can replay in my mind if and when needed.  Now Fucking to Porn is something I like.
 
Postlude:
Wow that’s a lot of words. 2256 prior to the postlude to be a little OCD about things.  At the end of it all, taking my own practices and sexuality out of it I can’t help but think about how much better adjusted our world would be if people were taught to accept and embrace normal healthy behaviors like masturbation rather than clouding them with shame, guilt, and other negative feelings.  How much more fulfilling our interactions with our partners would be from the beginning if we understood out bodies, needs and wants better…of course also learning to communicate them  as well.
I’ve asked myself the question why don’t i write about masturbating as more than a passing reference prior to this? Is it tied to hidden feelings of shame? Unlikely at this point in life. Is it because of a cultural Taboo?  Perhaps but again unlikely. I’ve come to the conclusion perhaps incorrectly that once we are adults we take charge of our sexual desires and needs, sometimes in our 20’s, sometimes in our 30’s or 40’s but for those of us that are lucky enough it happens.   and I tend to believe part of that is understanding your own body through masturbation and everthing that accompanies it.
 
 

This is a double MeMe post so Click the banners below to see the other Kink of the Week and Masturbation Monday Posts

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Titty Fucking – Kink of the Week

Titty Fucking – Kink of the Week
 
It’s been a while since I’ve participated in a Kink of the Week Topic. Life in the (professional and personal) fast lane has its draw backs and the topic of Titty Fucking may have been another one that I would have let go by. Yet for some reason it keeps popping into my head at the strangest times.
 
Is Titty Fucking a kink of mine? Generally speaking it’s not. I’d tell you I’m more of an ass man when you get right down to it but then some thoughts about recent and current relationships proves out that all of those women have ample chests. In fact it’s an act I’ve not given much thought in recent years. It’s something I’ve not actually done with anyone in any memorable timeline. Other than someone’s breasts briefly passing over my penis and perhaps a playful taunting drag or wiggle it as they pass by when starting to go down on me. It’s not something I can ever recall masturbating to though through other stimulation have used cumming on a person /pearl necklace on rare occasion has been. But that’s a different topic…
 
Yet have to admit recently having delusions about two of my partner’s that involves titty fucking me to orgasm. Not as the same time of course though on second that might be really fucking interesting but would need the UN and several deities to negotiate than one. One of which ends with me cumming on her breasts and is all about my pleasure and not hers.
 
The first fantasy is selfish and an act of dominance and release for me with disregard for her needs in those moments. The idea of her hands holding those full breasts tightly against my hard cock. Her hands pinching her nipples cruelly in the process. Undulating against me a looking into my eyes, a devilish grin as she does knowing and wanting what is happening as much as I do even though the act is all about my orgasm, and my marking her however briefly by Cumming on her. Making her kneel and my feet submissively while it dries and then sending her back to her other partner with her fetishized chest covered in my semen.
 
The second is more recent and more of a curiosity and her breasts seem to be hardwired to her pussy and can be so very sensitive. I want to know how my dick would feel between them, to know if that sensation is pleasurable for her. To have her kneeling on the bed after rubbing those tits that I spend far too much time thinking about all over my naked body before beginning to use them on my cock to build my release, her hungry and o so very talented mouth waiting until the last second before wrapping around my no longer containable orgasm and sucking me dry. My hands open and brushing her nipples and the outside of boobs with each rise and fall adding to her stimulation.
 
So is titty fucking a kink of mine? Generally speaking no but it’s not like it hasn’t recently been in my thoughts and fantasies not long before the topic was published. Instant flashes of desire, entire scenes in seconds of thoughts.
 

OTK Spanking – KotW

An OTK Spanking Story

A Table With Paddles laid out on it in preparation for a spankingYou’re standing there nervous and I’m already seated on a chair waiting for you. That is never a good thing but you already knew what was going to happen. The sight of me though made it a little more real. There is now doubt you are going to be getting an OTK spanking, pleading, begging and offers of anything else I want won’t change your fate. In fact it would only make things worse but sometimes you can’t help yourself. Your eyes fixate on the few paddles and that damn hair brush has been set out. Your eyes meet mine half pleading to get out of it and half wanting to get started.

I look back at you silently, watching you fidget. It is an absolutely delicious sight! You are going to be across my knee in no time at all, pinned into place and there will be no escape. It will be on your bare bottom. It always is. Whether or not it starts that way and with a hand or the hair brush are questions that race through your mind. Excitement and anticipation swims with nervousness as I hold your gaze. There is always that little something about these moments you love to dread.

“Are you ready for your spanking?” It’s not like there’s a choice.
You answer “yes sir” stepping closer, lowering your jeans and panties without being asked to and carefully position yourself across my knee. My hand rests on your back pinning you in place. In time you will struggle and squirm. Trying to behave and at the same time trying to make your bright red bottom hurt a little less. You will fail opn both counts as you’ll be held in place and spanked harder for those efforts.

The first smack lands, it was with brush…you my dear are going to have a very long night. You’re otk spanking this time is not for fun but to teach you a real lesson with a sore marked bottom as a reminder that will be with you for a few days afterwards.
Ahh the lovely games we play.

OTK Spanking and My Evolution on the Topic

Hopefully you enjoyed the little story above. I don’t write as much fiction as I use to and that little bit kind of makes me miss it. So the Kink of the WeekTwo OTK spanking paddles along with a leather strap and wooden spoon set out for a spanking Topic this time around is obviously OTK Spanking. There is something inherently domestic about OTK. Then again there is something domestic about a lot of spanking play isn’t there? As the topic suggests there are so many other things from potential age play to additional physical contact.

So I’ll take on the OTK position in general first. Traditionally I would only give an otk spanking to people that were girlfriends (or eventually my wife…often under “protest”), lovers, or others I had a long term (play) relationship with regardless of their state of dress or undress. It really stemmed from both my own interest in hard implement based play (there is a reason other than excess that so many paddles are in the collection) and also proximity/physical contact. It’s worth noting that causal and pick up lay was bigger for me once upon a time.

Still there is nothing like giving an otk spanking for that very reason, the feel of her across my knee. The moments I alluded to in the story where she willingly goes across…or not when she is pulled into place pinned down and either way gets a very red bottom. And while I’ve heard that the bottoms find enjoyment in the wiggling and grinding in some cases (ahem…Alice! Who you really have to watch for this behavior), the feeling of being held in place is what does it for others, the sensation of the Top’s strength and or arousal from it all.
Mal's Lap just waiting for a nughty girl to go across his knee for an OTK spankingSo there are a few more elements from this Spanko’s position that get worked in and that is the entire, pants and panties up/down etc. dynamic. Spanking videos seems to work in a format like a hit song the bottom goes OTK, then their pants come down or skirt goes up, then finally the culmination is their panties come down. (Sorry I know that is gender biased Male top who plays with female bottoms so forgive me but I’m sticking with what I know). So in part sure it could be a warm up and then an increase intensity with less protection. Oh it could be the “embarrassment” of being disrobed as the punishment goes on, but it could always be a dominance and submissive thing. Here’s one more to consider beyond those and pacing a scene (or punishment). The act of standing up and going back over the spankers knee may have an appeal in and of itself. The re-surrender, the ability to re position, and the reality that you’re not yet done in fact the spanking may just have gotten started. Just food for thought.

Now about the age play bit when it comes to otk spanking. As I mentioned earlier in the post OTK spanking has a particular domestic feel to it and that in and of itself can lead to an age play type feeling even if that’s not the intent. Once upon a time I had a bottom who liked otk spanking because they made her feel young and naughty and like a bad girl who should be spanked. It worked for her in a BIG way and no doubt she had some age things going on in her mind.  In another case a partner absolutely hated them for the same reason but it wasn’t part of her fantasy that worked she found they often tripped triggers and sent her in the wrong direction.

Then there’s Alice who if you sit still too long she’ll end up over my knee and be like “aren’t you going to spank me?  Oh come on I know you want to and I’ve been a very good bad girl?” Which leads me to my softened position on well the position.  Granted I’ve known Alice for quite a while but she is very much a spanking bottoms which takes me to the final section of this post…
 

OTK Spanking And This Aging Spanko in General

Mal Pulling the naughty Girl over his knee for a good old fashion OTK spankingWell this brings us to the final chapter on OTK. Look I think I’m 18 but more than double that in reality. And as I age how I play has become more about having a connection even a brief one than intensity and an OTK spanking seems to offer that to me and I’ll dare say a lot of other spanko’s. And like it or not it’s become clear that my ever more salt and less pepper hair has an appeal I could have never expected.  That said I get that I have more of a “daddy” appeal; like it or not. So I’ve accepted it both in kink and everyday life.

And the kink part of my life has slowed down. So out of the small handful of new people I’ve played with in the last few years all but one have made their way OTK; if not in the first scene then certainly shortly there after.  In part is is the physicality, the often flesh on flesh contact, and perhaps just maybe because of where I’ve stopped playing. Suddenly I have an urge to go to an event again…only time will tell if i do.
 
 
 

The 2 week orgasm and other Cum related tales

The two week orgasm
Recently I found myself at the end of a two week period where I hadn’t cum once.  No sex, no self love, and no time to even consider the number of days that had passed.  Four days is usually all i can stand.
“Just fuck me.” Was the demand when I did finally get a chance to remedy the situation.  Forepaly was not of any interest. Sometimes you just need to cum and very intensely at that.
   Staying power and control was not at its ulitmate peak but still respectable.  When the moment came it was not an orgasm but an explosion that lasted as long as any I can recall. My hands digging onto her hips driving her onto me at a torried unwavering pace.  A pace that was set to meet my needs. Hers were not of a concerm at that ment not that there were any complaints.  By the time it or should I say I finished cum was smeared up her racing stripe onto her lower abs. It was coating her to up to mid ass cheek. her inner thighs were thick and coated with cum, which was spread from my lower torso to mid thighs as she rode the last waves of her final orgasm which only added to the mess. She drove her self deeply om to me and squeezed as i pushed every possible bit possible deep into her over filled pussy.  A coy smile was met with a winded “How’s that for a welcome home?”
And other Cum related stories
Timing as they say is everything.  This time around the Kink ot the week topic is Cum.  Which is something in wouldn’t call a fetish but am certianly not shy about when it comes to my own.  Suck me off ; spit or swallow i’ll kiss you with out hesitation moments later.
 Facials don’t do anything for me cumming on your tits does. Especailly when your kneeling and want me to cum in your mouth. I like the denial. I like watching you as I with draw at the very last second and mark your breasts with my spunk.
 Even better is shooting a load on your bright red well spanked cheeks and then making you stay in position as I admire the drying addition to your bared and abused bottom.
And how could i not love the sight of my release streaming over your hand as you jerk me off. Maybe because you wanted to but maybe as a desparate  way to manage my lust for the moment. Your hands are covered as the depth pace and pressure or the strokes milk every possible drop.  Then I watch you lick me and your hand completly clean.
But hey look it’s not always about me. It’s obvious how much you enjoy being finger fucked until you’re breathless and shaking after I’ve already finished and filled you with jizz.  How facedown and ass up you quiver and shake struggling to hold it in while a vibe buzzes away at you clit. Uet you aways fail as it drips out of your pussy and onto everyhting below you.  Or how after having your ass taken for my pleasure …well you know the rest don’t you?

Kink of the week Cum fetish

Strap On Tools Kink of the Week

So when I first saws Strap Ons were the kink of the week topic my mind literally flashed to a Picture Penny  put up earlier this year.   I know, I know a typical straight white male reaction naked girls jumping on a bed and strap on dildos imply perhaps something more. And you know what I’m not sorry and won’t apologize.   A lot and I do mean a lot of my favorite porn early on was girl on girl with every type of toy and strap on imaginable for that era.   What was better than watching sex? Watching two girls have sex!   Yep typical male. What’s better than that?   Two girls and me.   I know misogynist bastard.
My second thought after clearing that picture from my mind…which may have taken a few minutes to be honest about it. Was that I really have nothing of value to add to this one. My references are porn, a few scenes I’ve watched (F/F go figure), some coors light girls Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll party shenanigans once upon a time (never underestimate how muck coke a little beer jockey can do. Also don’t underestimate how not sexy you are when they find out not only don’t you do drugs but that you also won’t buy them any) , the occasional femdom pic that slips into my twitter or tumblr feed, and the occasional post I’ve come across on pegging.
 
I know there are guys who like strap on play, pegging, whatever. Sometimes it appears to be sensation based, sometimes it is a D/S thing.   That’s great for them but this is a case of your kink is not my kink. I have no moral objection to it. If you and your partner are into it then great but there is no appeal to me in the least. What I’d image also to be strap on heavy – Fem Dom erotica…yep not my thing the only scene I’ve ever read in its entirety have been part of e lust judging. F/M strap on play to me is like C Span…somebody is probably getting something really awesome from it but I’ll be passing right by. F/F I’ll watch with mild curiosity at this point but even that often doesn’t do much for me.
The piece starts off cavalier and reads like a stereo type. So I tried to take an enlightened approach and eliminate some of the potential sticking points.   Am I homophobic, afraid of penis shaped things that aren’t my own dick, or anything similar? No on all accounts.   Is it because I perceive strap on play (F/M) as a submissive act?   We all see that type of thing on kink sites from time to time but even removing the D/s implications and making it pure good old fashioned fucking I have no interest. This one just doesn’t work for me.   It would be a hard limit if asked.
 

Nipples Three Way

Well its kink of the week time once again and of course I’m up against the deadline. So let’s get straight to the point of this trifecta on nipples.
First up my nipples.
So a few fun facts about my nipples…
1) They are even by male standards very small. I suspect that somewhere in the future if males evolve to not have nipples my blood line will be on the front end of evolution.
2) I pierced them myself at 20. It didn’t last long as the damn rings kept getting caught in the sheets when I’d sleep (of course I always slept nude in those days). I had not considered the sexuality aspect of such an action at the time. It was merely for decoration and to be shocking. Once upon a time I had a body that was mostly naked, most of the time. This was at the height of that period. Barbells were a foreign concept, nipple piercings were only rings in my limited world view at the time.
3) In my world it is often if not always a bit Nippy out. Mine are usually erect when it’s cold (no surprise) when my heart rate is up (high beams while lifting and running go hand in hand for me), or when my testosterone levels are high. T shirts under dress shirts are mandatory for this reason.
4) Most of my lovers have never thought to pay any attention to them. And until now it never occurred for me to ask.
5) I’ve never played with my nipples while masturbating. It doesn’t fit the movie in my head where bad things are being done to you that I use to get off. Well that and like number 4 I never really thought of it.
So with those facts stated really my own nipples are truly more of a running joke about etching glass, impaling people and others very similar than a regular erotic zone. When the Blonde pays attention to them it’s a nonverbal cue that has developed over the years that she wants me to spend some or a lot more time with hers in the immediate future. Which takes us to the next section
Secondly nipples, nipples, and orgasms other my own.
As if the end of the previous paragraph wasn’t enough of a hint put very plainly the amount of time some people’s nipples spend getting attention from me almost always end up in my mouth, between my teeth, being rubbed, caressed, squeezed, and pinched. The Blonde can be brought to the edge and occasionally past it with the right type of nipple play. It is the one almost failsafe way to get her soaking wet eveytime. The nipples are the one area of her body where she is most verbal about…want to make her moan, pant or even scream and not hold back? Yep figure out what works on her nipples on that given night. She will try to muffle her orgasms from vibes, fingers, fucking and just about everything else but the nipples for some reason or another make her let go of herself…in a very good way.
She’s not the only lover I’ve had that loves nipple play which takes me from the vanilla to the kinky…
Nipples and Ds
1) Pierced or Not – In context of a scene whether they are pierced or not doesn’t matter to me but it does change what I do, how I do it, and in some cases the amount or type of stimulation applied. That dais I do have a special thing for ones that are pierced. Visually it makes them extra appealing, I always like the acknowledgment that a person is into something and for the most part other than my stupid younger self most people with these type of piecings do so for erotic reason (or so I have found). An indication that something about them really works for you.
2) Clamps, clothes pins and clovers – all in the toy bag depending on who, what and when. Everything from the harmless little rope nooses connected with a chair that are mainly for stimulation to brutal clamps with weights.
3) hot and cold – Wax play for me and others has basically been nipple centric all along. Sure the breasts get included, occasionally other body parts get drizzled on but it has always been about candle wax on the nipples long before it go put anywhere else. Cold use to be an occasional part of play, even vanilla fun and by that I mean using vanilla ice cream on them. Ice cubes are fine too and less messy but nowhere near as tasty. I like to literally make her part of dessert every so often.
4) Liquid latex – it was a few different pairs of nipples that first inspired me to buy a jar of liquid latex.
5) Pinch, pull, and bite – simple put yes just in a different context than this type of play in vanilla sex.
6) Popes and wheels and begging oh my. They’re engorged, ultra sensitive, and maybe even marked and sore; bring out the wheel and let the real fun begin. Beg me to stop, beg me to continue. Tell me how it hurts, how it turns you on and what else you’d like to have done to you.
In conclusion
Are nipples a kink for me? That is a tough one. The initial reaction is no. While they are something I’m fond of, have spent a fair amount of time stimulating, torturing, and what not and while I certainly like nipples for various reasons I’m not sure they’d qualify as a kink in and of themselves. But on second thought maybe I just have too much fun with them to not be a kink.

Dirty Panties KOTW


So let’s see if this KOTW can be a little more coherent than the last one shall we? it will however be fairly brief. No pun intended…well maybe a small one. Breifs get it? Small ones…
Since I can’t remember when panties the sexier, more daring and down right sluttier the better were of interest to me. Dirty Panties though are something I’ve never thought about as a fetish for me.
Sure I’m aware of it as a kink but not one that pertains to me any more than selling my own socks after a long run. Yes I know it’s different, I get that there is a huge market out there for such things but it’s honestly not one I understand.   It’s not appeared in any of my real life activities or even in my fiction. When I see the occasional tweet or post about someone selling their worn panties and never gave it a second thought beyond “oh that’s nice. Hope they make a few bucks” capitalist pig type reaction. It’s not one that causes a reaction or aversion of any type it simply just doesn’t trip my trigger.
There are a few pairs of panties in the bin of wickedness that have been given to me over the years as mementos…all of them were laundered. It never occurred not to do so.
So admittedly I have very little to offer on this but am curious as to what others take on it is; both male and female.

Tongue Tied

10/17/2015 After the fact inserted comment.  This post took me a lot of places, it is jumbled, random, and in truth took and went places I never expected that were in the end edited out.  It is possibly the worst piece of writing shared in recent years. I have fixed some typos but otherwise opted to let it stand as is. 

Mal

his is the fifth rewrite of this post. So let’s be frank. I learned to go down on a woman thanks to two lovers a long time ago. It is a skill i traded on as my reputation as a man worth sleeping with grew. Facts being fact I don’t have a giant cock, am probably a better than average lay (or was once upon a time) and despite that used other skills such as cunnilingus to round out my portfolio.   Without them and their dedication to this act odds are I’d still be fumbling through eating pussy like some self indulgent 80’s porno which was where my skill set came from before Kathy and Steph gave me some much needed guidance.  And well practice makes perfect right. And they both liked the practice.

Now with proper swordsman’s acknowledgements out of the way let’s get a little more personal. This is one of the few acts that I can tell you the number of people I’ve engaged in it with. Granted it’s not a modest amount compared to “the average number” of sexual partners government stats and academics like to publish but still a memorable amount.   Why’s that? Well it is hard to say? In general fucking for sport is easy fun and yes not really all that personal. However cunnilingus was something I  only par took in with lovers whose pleasure was a priority for me.  I tend to think I know(knew) them better but the fact of the matter is there may not be a guy who doesn’t like a good BJ but a lot of women (unfair broad generalization don’t hate me. ) seem/are uncomfortable with idea of someone going down on them.  Look seeing as I have a penis it’s not my place to judge.

In fact by focusing on them and their pleasure  this way is probably one of the few acts I consider to be intimate. Yes i know I’m fucked up thank you for your concern.  Ironically it is more likely that I’d fuck you casually than kiss you sensually. A topic for another time.

Learning about a person’s orgasms is a powerful thing, helping them reach that release also can help you learn to focus on the small changes as they get ready to cum.  Nuances in their thighs, the motion of their hips, their breathing etc.

As for DS thing

I have seen the entire “is engaging in mainstream sexusal acts like oral a submissive thing” debate in recent years. Can it be sure?  So can cooking dinner or any other thing but it is intention and dynamic that would define that.   I have done some very toppy things to women while going down.  After all I haven’t always owned a Hitachi or known the term “forced orgasm” but sure have played with it using my mouth.

So for a final thought on this subject. I know this dis disjointed.  a reread my previous draft of made it clear that the tone was overly serious and sounded like something i did out of obligation rather than enjoyment. So i didn’t hit publish. That said I am neither prone to sexual dreams and even less prone to dreams of any type that can be recalled in the morning. morning at 4 am i woke up to vivid memories of a dream where cunnilingus had played a very hot role in a three on one exchange.  And that is the beauty of kink of the week now to decide what rd do with those ideas.

Bottoms, Butts, Buns, and Asses – Kink of the Week

Bottoms, Butts, Buns, and Asses

 
“She is beautiful no?” the men went on.
I nodded in agreement the woman in question was in fact quite ravishing, long legs, nicely sized breasts…not too big or too small.
They went on and on about her beauty, long dark hair, sensual mystique, small waist and lovely hips. I agreed again she was after all stunning but when pressed on the topic if she one of the most beautiful and desirable women I’d ever seen. I would simply say she is very very pretty trying to not offend her smitten admirers.
Finally one asked “what would you like to be different?” Taking stock of the men and women in my company “she truly very beautiful. But I prefer a little more ass.” a few women who in fact had well a little more shape to their backsides smiled or blushed. Her most ardent admirer asked what I meant ” after all we both had different native languages.  “Her bum while nice is too flat, I like them rounder ; a little fuller if nothing else”
So ironically the above is a true story that just happened last week. Though it sums up my history of sexual attraction, conquest, and even kink very nicely. I admire breasts but they’ll never get a second look crossing the room, great legs will catch my eye, eyes will inspire poetic day dreams, and who doesn’t love a pretty face but a great ass is what really does it for me. To quote a bad American country song “we hate to see her go but love to watch her leave”
There was a playful exchange with Molly last year when i was doing the It Girl Rag Doll podcast where we playful discussed my preference for a woman’s back side over other attributes “the redder the better” she teased me and as a spanking Top it is true but even outside of that kink a woman’s bottom is the one thing I have always fetishized.
Now a bit of a confession normally I try to write my kotw posts before reading anyone else’s to avoid their influence. This time though I happen to get M from Cammies contribution right as I was getting on a plane and couldn’t resist. So there may be some things it brought to mind like…
My old practice of  stating “I’m just marking my territory” – I will at times swat the Blonde or my companion on the bottom as she walks away or as I pass by. Not hard but just firm enough to be more than a pat. For years it was part of my playful banter. In part it is just another reason to touch them and a favorite body part of theirs. Make no mistake it is both an affectionate, at times dominant, and also territorial act all at the same time. Much like M’s husband seems to do to her. To draw them near and claim them as yours all at the same time.
“Quit play’in grab ass” was a common phrase from my area for people clowning around instead of paying attention. To me I saw no value in quitting and have been playing grab ass with willing partners ever since. Ha take that coach!
Like most things in life variety is key and Bottoms, Butts, Buns, and Asses certainly falls into that.  There is no one shape or size of bottom that trips my trigger small, big, average all have a place in my mind. Well other than nonexistent white girl butt.  Simply put if i don’t like her backside nothing is going to happen, kink or otherwise.   Sorry I suppose I’m that shallow.  If face down ass up, walking across a room or bent over for a spanking her bottom doesn’t do it I am well, more or less done.  equally so if she doesn’t like to be patted, rubbed, pinched, or spanked in some or any combination of those things then equally so I’m not a good match for her.
 
 
Kink of the Week

A Freak and His Leash

Leash Kink of the week

The first person I ever walked on a leash was a nearly nude young woman named Stacy.  Now if it had been done for play in private it would have been fun but not nearly as note worthy.
Instead imagine yourself in a dark club and out of the shadows comes a long black haired skeleton figure clad in a second skin of leather, no shirt, and a leash in his hand leading a barely legal, not exactly dressed young woman on to a stage with two hellish red lights barely breaking small parts of the blackness of the room.  The smell of lust, testorone, and violence filled the air.  Moments later all of that would be drown out by a shieking angry voice and our demonically distorted guitars. Cue the swords and baby doll decapitations.
Life is stranger than fiction and this was a case of my kinks still largely closeted or so i thought being played out very publicly.  Since no one would do this in private right? Yeah we all know better than that.
So this time around Kink of the week the topic is leashes. Before we get to it let me tell you that pre goth kids in the 90’s when leash wearing souless lost youth of America invaded suburban shopping malls and Korn’s ode to it that seeing a woman being led like this was so overtly sexual the only place other than stage I had ever seen such a thing was on South Street in Philadelphia in 87 and Hamilton Ontario later the same year.
Now with that bit of probably irrelevant personal history behind us let’s get to the topic in more recent history.
Leashes are a funny thing, a prevertable with out a doubt and it doesn’t take much effort to find sites littered with subbie men and women being led around on them.   Sometimes it associated with puppy play or something simiar. But it is just as easy to see it in a purely submissive image. I’ll admit that a woman attached to a leash will always get my attention.
Now the other part of the imagery i notice she is always compliant, with just enough arc in the shiny silver chain. Not straining against it, still wild and trying to break free.  There may be practical reasons for this but i can’t help but wonder why this is. Probably becuase the dreamy dom type and the perfect subbie would never challenge each others role and make them seem less than the fantasy story ideal.
Maybe there’s special instructions in the good guide to perfect submission that reads something like “Never pull on your leash, it is considered very poor formand the ultimate disrespect to some god like top.  Additionally no one wants to see you gagging like an over excited Labrador”
Oh right back on topic. Leashes don’t really figure into my own kink. In part because these days i don’t view collars as part of my own kinks. Of the play partners i have that are collared to another person I would not dare attach anything to it with out both parties explicit permission. There are those who wear collars for play. It’s easy enough to view them at a party or gathering but none of them have me in their rotation so that isn’t an opportunity.
Now i’m not saying no. It’s not that there isn’t an interest and i certianly find the idea of having a submissive near by (looking as wanton and well behaved as all the pictures) highly appealing. Because frankly that is a pretty hot thing as i think about it.  In fact i’m imagining a few people that way right this minute…mmmm.  Guess that answers that; time to update the bucket list.
Kink of the Week