We’re All in a Very Different Place Now – 2014 in review and 2015 Looking ahead

Warning this turned out much longer than expected.
At lunch on New Year’s Day with my family the Chesty Blonde simply stated “We’re all in a very different place now” in reference to where each of us, kids included are in life and what we want compared to a year ago. It pretty much nailed everything right on the head with that statement and more ways than many here will know is increasingly more true. Last year I published a list similar to this “No More Mister Nice Mal”.
So how’d I do?
Events – I started strong and made it to events regularly through May. Then last month in the UK one I would have never dreamed about getting to go to which I still have to write about in more detail. Mid year signified a job change for me and made local events all but nonexistent, simple things became difficult due to family demands on my time when around. Which in and of itself was fine but the truth is outside of that I let those demands and guilt over being gone too much along with other challenges cause me to change plans too often, to cancel things in my personal life. Sure it happens all the time in business but I had fallen in to the habit on nights and weekends as well. This without a doubt would be my biggest regret for the year. Life changes, planes cancel and so do business trips but canceling things in my own city is inexcusable. I’ve been a shitty friend and am very sorry for it.
As for being done waiting – It wasn’t nearly as dirty as I’d hoped but I did better. Stayed in touch more, communicated more openly with people, and made a few startling revelations along the way that were a little scary to me. The fitness and weight related goals weren’t to be as I also gave up my running group, couldn’t tell you the last race I did and well my shoulder really doesn’t like to bench press much anymore (I did come close on the Squat goal and hit the Dead Lift goal).
Looking Ahead….
This will be a year of change, perhaps even more so than last year as our house has been ready to list for sale for months. The Blonde has done all of the work I simply carried the boxes (OK I packed up my non-essential clothes and shoes and tons of books – trust me that was a lot of boxes). As for where and under what terms there isn’t really an answer. A lot of conversations are being had in the past few weeks; some very direct and open but civil and others more nebulous and optimistic. The publicly stated plan is 25 minutes closer to our current city “for a few years” and that is the most logical. As a reminder the last few years turned into 11. In another 11 I’ll be ready for a condo or single level somewhere warm. OK enough serious shit now on to the fun stuff.
The Chinese and their zodiac have their animal symbols to represent the theme for the year. For example I was born in the year of the Cock (or rooster for you PC types)…somewhat fitting. So stealing from their idea I’m making it the year of the Spanking! So drop those pants, bend over, and let’s get this started…not that it will be ending anytime soon young lady.
1) Play locally once a month – at a party, privately, on the steps of city hall, or at Versailles – no restrictions just fucking get out there and play again. I’ve sucked at setting play dates almost as much as I did being a friend. Time to stop that. Sort out my own bull shit and relationships issues and go out there and smack a few more asses.
2) Expand who I play with – aka stop being so fucking serious Mal! – and in the vane of smacking butts a little more often pushing myself to be more social and expands who I play with. I’ve greatly limited who I wanted to play with the past few years. So while those select wonderful ladies are still at the top of my list the truth is because of schedules and geographies seeing them often enough may not be an option. So returning to a previous highly social version of myself may be required.
3) Make it to two con’s and one must be spanking themed – Literally as I was writing the draft of this post the Blonde came up to give me the kids spring break dates which of course overlaid one the that would be a shoe in (and had heard good things about). OK Plan B for event one it is! Details to follow.
4) Buy a lot more leather – anyone who knows the kinky me knows I love paddles – in particular wooden ones. And there may or may not be a few bins 10 feet away with a wonderful collection of just about every shape, size, thickness, color and wood. What is missing is leather! I’ve been putting off buying a good flogger. I’ve been putting off things in leather I’ve wanted for years for no other reason than not ordering them.
5) Did someone say canes? – So it’s really just an excuse to buy evil things but I’d love to have a over sized arrangement in the umbrella holder in the corner of my office which leads me to…
6) Do Not Whimsically De Kink my Home Office – early this fall after some remodeling and rearranging furniture I came home to find a few canes that were probably tucked away somewhere hanging from one of the book cases. They’re still hanging there (except for the one I broke – fyi not during play) and no one has said shit. The other day a neighbor came over to use my printer at the invitation of the Blonde. So there she was standing next to my collection of bondage and erotica books, several canes still hanging from the book case and a few paddles on the shelf that I had actually been meaning to put away (or to good use either way). Sure she couldn’t look me in the eye later but the fact is I’m not very territorial about the house except for the one space that is just mine. Enter at your own risk I’m done hiding things (except for maybe during real estate open houses). And if you don’t like it fuck off.
7) New Spanking Project – well I’ve still got the bucket list item of shooting and appearing in a spanking video but that’s not what this is about. The reason for this year’s theme is very much a back to basics choice. It is something manageable. That really won’t put me into new territory but if done right will be more often, in some new places with new people.
Along those lines I’ve repeatedly bitched on twitter, in person and on posts here from time to time about finding the kind of Spanking Porn that works for me. Free and amateur stuff aside there is no way I can be the only one. It is a huge kink and there has to be good if not great stuff out there, right? So in the past week the first three have been written along with reviews of roughly 25 different scenes. Yep 28 posts…make hay while the sun shines right?
So that leaves one decision. Do I post them here (not sure they’re a fit with this content), on a sub domain (maybe but just maybe), or on their own site (not surprisingly I already own a few other spanking theme domains…shocking right?). Make no mistake there’s no intention of being some random critic. No matter if they are good, bad, or indifferent these will be part of what I do it’s only a question of is the audience completely different and respecting that.
Fuck this post is long….so if you’re still reading. In summary I’ve got to resolve some things, make a few things right, be more fun, be more evil, buy more toys and figure out where the fuck to put some stuff.
Oh and I also owe myself two more posts that I promised in my Kinkster’s Christmas list. Truth is they’ve been written (and rewritten a few times) it’s a matter of deciding if they say the right things.

18 Replies to “We’re All in a Very Different Place Now – 2014 in review and 2015 Looking ahead”

  1. Mmmmmm spanking!!!!! Might have to send you some links for leather ideas to help you on that one

  2. No 3…. August, Bristol…. go on, you know you want to…. *bats eyelids in a provocative manner
    No. 4…. If one of your trips to the UK falls on the first of second Sunday of the month then a trip to one of the London Fet marks has to be on the cards. I think you would be like a kid in a candy store with all the lovely hitty things you could buy. *note to self, do not agree any play time with Mal AFTER this shopping trip 😉 Also, Saint leather….
    No.7 Have you ever watched any of Pandora Blake’s stuff… I don’t know what it is you are looking for mind you but she is all about the spanking.

    1. No 3. Still working on the dates professionally speaking but would love to be there for a variety of reasons.
      No. 4 I’ve been meaning to order from Saint Leather for a while now and my recent trip sealed the deal on “needing” one of their floggers. As for the London Fetish mart…hmmm wondering exactly how many pounds sterling i can legally bring into the country. I’m pretty persuasive so will take my chance on being able to work in play time.
      No 7. I really like Pandora’s stuff and actually have been looking forward to the new site she mentioned on your podcast a few months back that will be exclusively authentic institutional / school setting themed. Generally speaking the British content is better but then again it was the first stuff i really watched so that may also be a bit of nostalgia. Where i struggle is finding that same kind of theme in US produced and centric content. There are a few (Real Spankings and at times Firm Hand) but not many that really deliver on that harder and to an extent colder (or distant or formal) type of play with out becoming D/s themed.

      1. Of course the real problem is it is not really me who gets to decide when and with whom play time is…. that is down to a ‘high authority’ to whom you have direct access. Alone, Doms are tricky, together they are just down right dangerous.

  3. Spanking and toys…an amazing thing to look forward to, and I look forward to reading about it! I’m also moving this year (which sucks because I just moved last year).
    Also, I’d love to go to Bristol in August.

    1. The moving piece is going to be a pain and moving again in your case must be even more so. Bristol is a bit of along shot since it’s a month earlier than i need to be over there but I’m working to move some things around to make it happen. I’ll have a pretty good idea of the reality in the next few weeks.

  4. I need a list like this. I take my play as it comes. I need to seek it out more. The last few cons that I’ve went to have become more about the party and less about the play and education. Your post makes me want to get organized and on track.

    1. I’ve found that if I don’t plan it and make a commitment to it I end up not getting to play and then pissed at myself about it.

  5. So glad to see you getting your priorities straight. Spanking should ALWAYS be at the top of one’s list (tee hee). Of course that’s just my opinion.
    Happy New Year to you and the family,
    Annie B

    1. I agree with you (of course) Spanking should always be a priority.
      Happy New year to you and yours as well.

    1. Brother no doubt I will. We have a full plate between here and other non writing projects. It should be a busy but good year

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