A Slap in the Face

I can honestly say I have only once slapped a woman in the face and it was not confined to my kink.  I was fairly young (16 or so) and frankly she literally stood there and told me I wouldn’t dare slap her, I wasn’t man enough, and assorted other taunts. After a few weeks of her crap and increasingly getting in my face or course I did.  To which she responded “well finally” seeming not at all traumatized by it.  For me it was OH my god I just hit a girl. It’s something that I’m not proud of.  So the topic of face slapping for me as kink of the week took some turns into other areas as I pondered it.

Here’s my reality.  I’m a lousy pacifist, actually I’m not of slight build and fairly aggressive verbally and physically when it comes to conflict.  As a general rule if you push I’m going to let it ride to a point and then push back like you never imagined.  Long fuse massive explosion.   I’ve punched countless people in the mouth over the years.  As a younger man I was quite the brawler, add to that I played music on though rough side of town, participated in a sport where fighting is part of the game which means even more punches thrown, and that one of my first jobs was more than a little sketchy.  Oh I’ll pat you on the back (Nice Job Buddy), smack you on the ass (as I playfully say come here woman to the Blonde), punch you on the arm (“Way to go Killer” to one of the boys just made a good shot, won big in Vegas, or finally got laid), all as part of playful social interaction depending on who you are and our relationship. And yes in context of impact play and kink I will spank, beat, and slap quite the assortment of body parts but it’s never occurred to me “damn I just want to slap your face.”

Why?  The easy answer is it’s just not my kink.  It doesn’t make face slapping wrong, just not something that has an appeal to me.  In general it conjures up an image of old Western movies and an irritated John Wayne with some sassy mouthed prairie woman in as he “puts her in her place”.  Also not my thing my thing on any front.  It strikes me as a common non consensual behavior by abusive men.  Probably an unfair view since much of what I do could be done perceived in the same light but it is what comes to mind. 

I know wait “But YOU practice BDSM & hit people as part of that?”  Which is very true but it’s because I know the person I’m playing with enjoys it on some level.  That what we’re doing even if pushing boundaries is something they expressed an interest in and discussed with me.  Which brings me back to face slapping, no one has ever asked me to.  So I’ve never gone there.   Even is asked I’m not sure I would so until the situation arises more or less its a hard limit.  

Hey look I think I found a new hard limit…that is very rare!

See who else it talking about face slapping over at Kink of the Week!

Kink of the Week

12 Replies to “A Slap in the Face”

  1. Nothing wrong with a hard limit. I didn’t participate in the KOTW because it isn’t my kink either, to the point where it’s already listed in my limit. I’ve never tried it, and one day I may want to, but it certainly isn’t now.
    Thanks for sharing – it makes sense to me that you incorporate hitting as part of your kink but draw the line in other areas like face slapping.

  2. I actually wrote the post almost a week ago and struggled with whether it added any value to KOW this time around. Finally deciding that since I took the time to write it and debate the topic why not share.

  3. ” It strikes me as a common non consensual behavior by abusive men.”
    That’s exactly how I feel about it as well, and was my reaction the only time it has ever happened to me. To be fair though, if I saw a woman slap a man’s face I’d feel very uncomfortable with it as well. It happens a lot in the media I watch and it makes me feel awkward every time.

    1. Wonder if the media portrays it as often as it does because it’s far more common than we realize or because in ready others posts it seemingly plays well in many people’s fantasies.

  4. I think it definitely adds value. My post this week also states that I don’t like face slapping and explains how I came to that conclusions. I think writing about kinks that don’t float your boat is just as interesting and important as ones that don’t. It helps to show a more rounded complete picture of who we are all are and how we all share common things but also are all different to.

    1. You post went to a very interesting place and the description of when you made the determination that it wasn’t your thing was very memorable.

  5. I totally agree – talking about a kink that doesn’t turn you on (for whatever reason) is just as important as discussing those that do. Your post definitely brings value to the KOTW. It’s important for people to read about other view points, and I think the reality that Tops have hard limits too is VERY important. I’m so glad you decided to share.

    1. Thanks and you definitely got me to think on this one which isn’t always easy. My opinion is a lot of tops (myself included) more often don’t have to discuss our limits since much of the time we’re taking notes on what the other half wants and then driving the action. Unless they bring it up we don’t have to go there.

    1. Definitely and kudos to Jade for picking such an interesting topic with a wide range of responses.

  6. I can geel you on that one, its so not my kink either. Its not a matter of right or wrong as much as the whole hitting someone in the face is very much a deg rating and insulting thing in my world. Love the way you put it here.

    1. Plus you know me and have seen me play. My standard style is Rodney Dangerfield meets Charlie Brown with a hint of De Sade.

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