The Suitcase Tells All 9

Purple travel pro suitcase with Mal's clothes and shoes

The Suitcase Tells All


This story is being told from the perspective of my Crew 5 Travel Pro Suitcase that had been my unwavering companion for over 12 years, nearly 2,000 flights and over 750,000 miles.


In the beginning

Every suitcase hopes when it leaves the factory to find a home with a true traveler and not spend its life unappreciated, hidden in a closet hoping to go somewhere, before reaching the trash heap or some charity shop.   I came with a great pedigree and was paid full retail for from a specialty house when he took possession of me. Though serendipitous it has been an incredibly lucky paring for a suitcase as my life has taken me to countless countries, 35 states and experienced every conceivable mode of transportation, Air (Jumbo jet to private planes), Sea (cruise ships, private yachts, sail boats and speed boats), Cars, trains, subway, and even a horse and carriage ride once through central park. No matter where I have been the one true constant in Mal’s life for nearly 13 years.


As one would expect with a man like him I was not his first, not even close to it but also in what seems to be true to form once he loves something he holds on for as long as possible. My predecessor was a gift to him. He literally used her until she fell apart and was always gaping wide open despite having had her zippers replaced twice.   He was a harder man in those days but even then she lasted a decade. And during this time he always had others, sometimes he favored a different case, a bigger one that allowed him to stuff more things into her. But she flew checked and below. Passed around roughly by strangers. I was always in arms reach over his head EXCEPT with very rare exception. Those exceptions are when I had a special purpose. My name is Rollie Five and as for dirty laundry and dirty secrets…it’s time for me to come clean and tell all.


The Great Mexican Sex Toy Standoff

The One Mal had before me told me of the great Mexican standoff at customs on a trip back with the Blonde and some swinger friends that were with them on a business trip. A short authoritarian woman at customs decided to make a show of searching some American’s luggage on the tables in the departure hall.   Mal was of course selected. She all but died when she opened his case to find it filled with enough dildos, vibrators and lube to open an adult merchandise mega mart. The Blonde almost died of embarrassment, as did the customs agent. Mal just stood there with great aplomb smiling attempting to hold her gaze and watched her squirm as she unpacked gallon sized bag after gallon sized bag of sex toys in every imaginable size and color along with the matching batteries.


It was clear he was not a drug mule…what he was though may be the stuff of Mexican airport legend.


My Years Behind Mal’s facade

Like anyone who associates with him I am no saint having carried rope and paddles to the Ponchos as the first gifts he gave to Alice. I have been stranded on a frozen remote winter road in the mountains loaded with more hitty things than any man needs on his first play date with the Siren.   I have carried gifts; books, food, kink toys and of course coffee all over the world.


He has stuffed me with Wines and liquor to come home. Life is not all porn and parties. We’ve brought three sets of the complete Harry Potter Series in the Queen’s English back to the States. Italian suits, German books, half of the coffee cups available in Vienna. Make up for friends daughters. But it is the lurid things he hides inside me most often.


He has special rope for each partner, his favorite paddle is the black one that Raven made him followed by the otk one from Maui Kink.   When he packs Kink Items and checks me he includes a note to the TSA thanking them and listing my contents.


To the Buckeye state I would carry lingerie ranging from classic to tawdry and trashy. I would go between his partner’s condo and Mal’s hotel and back again for years. I have seen his suits change, his shoes come and go and two years ago despite me having bright orange wheels he entered his purple period.

After a decade in service his newest partner took my picture. It was a first, and very flattering. It was only the second time he saw her but I was already being appreciated for my talents. And I appreciated hers as suits became jeans more often, wing tips became sandals, shirts went from white and blue to pink and purple.

It was one of those trips where I flew underneath and held his ropes, 6 paddles, two leather straps and his travel yoga mat that she took my picture. Later I would deliver his first gifts to her…a set of purple crops. Since then he makes her pack the evil things except for his belts. She always comments on me and his ability to use me to the fullest extent, it is a true gift of his.


Mal Always needs More

Recently Mal went to a newer model. Sure she’s brighter and purple, can move in all sorts of ways I never could. Like most men he went with a newer smaller model. Men will be men. At first I worried for my fate. It was foolish he loves me like no other and admonished the Blonde “Don’t think of touching her.” He is unusually possessive about me and discussed how I would still be his go to on anything more than 3 days. I will be sent away to be refurbished and plan to spend the next 10 years going from here to there with him. Hiding the “Naughty Stick”, ropes, strops and wands as he finds his way back to those special people in his world.

And it maybe jealousy but the new one will never last, after one trip you can see the wear on her wheels. This morning he was cursing at her for rolling down the driveway as he climbed into the car.  I’ll be his favorite again in no time at all.

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About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.

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