So an interesting topic in the fact I am not a title kind of guy and have written about it several times in the past. So consider this a refresher and maybe even an update. Even on my fet profile years ago I vacillated on how to identify. Simply put I’m a spanking top who has evolved into other things; rope top, admitted Sadist, world class song and dance man (the last one may be a lie). In my professional life I omit my title from most correspondence and my business card, and down play it in introductions. The only time I use it is when required to for signatory reasons (Contract crap).
In fact most times I use my initials and don’t even bother with my name on emails and the like.
And on the rare occasion that the person I am dealing with is a dick wad title snob who has pissed me off I do shove my big fat title up their elitist ass sideways without out lube or apology. I guess that brandishing a title when needed is the upside of having one.
A Manifesto on Titles
Using a title is not a bad thing. It’s just not my thing. So no judgment meant or intended here.
I’m Not Yo Daddy
I have been called Daddy originally by the Pixie (a short term play partner years ago) originally outside of scenes in fact before we ever played and eventually inside of a few. It worked for her on some level. I never saw myself as more or different than a spanking top in the occasional role play.
Alice will at times refer to me as “Daddy” in a conversation to lovingly tease me. At first it was uncomfortable for me but seeing as it’s done as a means to be playful, affectionate (without the kink trappings) or garner my attention. So I smile and laugh it off. In fact I used it against her recently to set up a few scenes where she took a pretty hard spanking from “Daddy”. Alice knows it’s really not my thing (or hers either) so it is left at left door when the kink starts.
I don’t do age play (again no judgment just not my kink) and while I do dig the entire school girl look I prefer my school girls over 30, very experienced and quite womanly, with the occasional set of pig tails for to pull. Boys will be boys.
I’m No Sir
I don’t like to be called Sir in kink or anywhere. Outside of a greeting of “Good evening Sir” by a valet or ”Your date was very loud for several hours again last night; Sir” from a random staff member of some establishment i chose to pretend to sleep at. Pretty much I’m just Mal.
On planes in first class they often come by and welcome you by name. My birth sir name (no pun intended) is not easy to say unless you’re of Slavic descent. If your best friends weren’t Poles you’re often fucked. So I stop them before they start and give them the shortened version of my first name by introducing myself. Something like “I’m Mal…” Essentially I’m just Mal everywhere At home, at work, in important meetings, Air planes; you name it and I’m not using a title.
The exception is my mother and my one yoga instructor use my full first name. Mom get s a pass since she picked it and the hot blonde with the amazing sea blue eyes…I kinda like how she says my full name. So I never mentioned no one else uses it.
Totally not kink related but I have had drawn out conversation with a zillion parents in the mid-west who teach their kids to call all adults Mister X or Miss Y. I get it, it is a respect thing and whether the mister is followed by last names or a first name makes no difference to me. I dislike being called mister anything. I will let the parents know and then politely tell the kids to simply drop the mister and call me by my name.
I love when parents try to overrule me. I simply tell them their kids can call me asshole or fuck wad Mal but not mister. It’s my name and I get to choose how I am referenced. Asshole is pretty universal of course but on occasion I will answer to it.
Catholic school taught me I am evil, there for I take great offense to this being considered as a name for me. (Sorry Raven) Given I do not identify as divine…or as any type of English or European noble.
Now if you added War before it hence making me a “War Lord” …that would be OK. In fact it may be an actual title I’d aspire to and use on my business card.
I can never use the term Master. My maternal grandmother addressed every letter she sent me, and there were countless ones to “Master Michael Malflic” until 18th birthday when she changed them to Mister.
She was the formal type when writing. So unless you want me to think of my Grand Mother and the thousands of sci fi, history, and science/engineering articles she sent me don’t call me Master. Even magazine subscriptions she’s bought me were addressed to me as Master.
Now though I an’t help but wonder if there was some kinky fuck at the post office who giggled at all of those over the years? They would snicker that Master Assclown read a lot of science fiction and lived in his parent’s basement.
Part of which was true, but my bedroom was above ground level.
A few words about eh use of “Goddess” in kink
I consider this gender biased. Men are not called Gods so why are women, many using the term themselves allowed to do so? I aspire to be a god! If not more than a minor pagan deity of some sort. You know like the patron saint of all things spankings, or the god of thuddy paddles.
You know the eternal fucker people who hate sting pray to before their beatings then I cruelly deny their wishes and have their spanker pick the implement with the most sting possible for that occasion. See I’d be an awesome cruel pagan god.
Ok for anyone who takes that seriously … it’s a fucking joke, lighten up, call whoever wants to be called goddess that title. Me I’ll be waiting for the grand altar to my divine cruelness to be built so I am immortalized.
Nick Names Are Different
Ironically I just had this conversation with the Temptress. I am a big fan of nick names or shortened versions of proper names. I use one myself (ie: Mal), have nephews who may not even know my real name (a slight exaggeration). My kids, the blonde, Alice all get shortened versions of their actual names when talking to or with me. I dub people with their initials if another in my world has the same first name.
If a person prefers their full name of course I’ll use it.
As for other things. I occasionally will pick a (nice) descriptive word for people. In fact when this happens I have with one exception never used that as a primary means to refer to another person and that literally took 28 years to happen.
What Happens when those nickname schemes don’t work for others?
The Chesty Blonde literally this summer began referring to 4 women in my life who happen to have the same first name by her perception of their role/how she remembers them
Legal (insert name) as that is her profession
Product (insert name) again a professional designation
Slutty (insert name) – this was the Blonde’s assessment from the “Because I fuck your friends” type interactions with the individual. Lil subsequently redirected her to refer to the person Fitness Activity (insert name). TCB not being the politically correct type still calls her slutty when Lil is not around.
And My (insert name) which is kind of a shock to hear her do and rather sweet.
So there you have it my in just under the wire take on titles.
Love the newly crowned Pagan deity of all things spanking…
Go read the other folks Kink of the Week Posts. .