Crash Into Me

CRASH into me.


It was a “crash” while in “Standing Bow Pulling pose” that set this chain of event into motion. Out of nowhere a lithe little brunette came bursting onto my mat in a crazy rush. They say if you fall out of the pose fall forward and one interpretation of that could be bum rush the man in front of you’s junk while he is balancing on one leg and pulling the other backwards over his head.


So of course that sent me stumbling out of my pose rather abruptly and with a complete lack of grace right about the time my new “friend” was stepping to the back of her mat with the grace of a ballerina.


Do you know the feeling when a dog sneaks up behind you and puts a cold wet nose on the back of your knee?  Now make that dog me and the nose a giant overheated sweat soak forehead as i crashed to the ground.


The carnage looked as such. A lithe brunette lying askew on top of me, up my legs and lower back. Our sweaty bodies  intertwined in a way nature never really intended.  Heaving excited breaths as we decided how to move next.   


Slowly we untangled ourselves silently mouthed apologies and waived “i’m sorry”. Then went back about our business until the class ended.


The brunette waited outside the room to apologize afterwards. A nice but completely unnecessary gesture. I mean what was there to say? “Gee i didn’t mean to crush you balls with my head and then land on top of you”.


My “friend” saw me post shower as has become the regular routine. “Looks like she got the better end of the deal today. Maybe i can lay on top of you next week.”


Have i ever mentioned that sometimes i lack a filter.  Especially when tired, dehydrated and already carrying on. “I prefer women who know how to move rather than just lay there.”   


Fuck stupid, i had walked the straight and narrow on this one. Not flirting at all because i kind of knew better. Somethinf about her said tobsteer clear. Looking at my buddy “sorry dude.” he laughed. Could have cared less and in fact told me as much.  


“Most men don’t start at the back of my knees. They like things that are up a little higher.” she said. Unphased by me.


It seems my little “crash” and devil may care word play created a spark i did not intend.  Becoming teflon i made my way out to another part of my world waiting for me at brunch.


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.