Houston we have a Stalker

Houston we have a stalker


Originally we were introduced at an event. She knew who i was and being my  loveable aloof self had not a clue she existed.  Being a legend in my own mind i was certain our mutual friend must have mentioned me. All kidding aside why else would anyone know who i was? So we made small talk like people do at such things and then drifted back to our established social circles.  


Mine was a not so subtle call to the “kissing booth” where my (adult biological) daughters were rolling around on the floor with puppies licking their faces.  She disappeared another direction.


The next morning i arrive at what can be called my only regular haunt. My buddy is sitting on a bench in the lobby and the woman he introduced me to the night before was next to him. Hair pulled up, in a baggy sweat shirt a la flash dance  and booty shorts instead of a shape hugging party dress like the night before.  “Good for him” i thought assuming he had spent the better part of the post fund raiser after hours merrily fucking her brains out.


She was super chatty with me. So once again small talk and harmless banter before heading back to change.  


A few minutes later i’m laying on my back in a hot dark room. Hoping my mind will quiet and that i will have a few minutes of mental and emotoonal peace.  After 15 minutes of meditation (not that i am at all ocd about my routime there)  i open my eyes to see her mat staggered right in front of mine.


I think nothing of it, class is realtively full and people have regular spots they like. After class i shower, linger and then find her and my friend are again conversing by the door.  I say good bye amd disappear into the oddly blinding blaze of sunlight the winters day has to offer.


The next day repeats in similar fashion. Mat placement etc. The following weekend the same.  The week after that she arrives at the same time i do. So being aquaintances of sorts exchange greetings and more small talk on the way in. “What you’re not going to sit and talk with me today.” she teased me. Her rsgular companion was absent.


I laughed and committed to coming back as soon as i changed and put my mat down. She placed hers next to mine and motioned toward the door. So being polite i went and sat and talked in the lobby to her and others as they came by. But of course disappeared to meditate at the appointed time.


Stillness quiets the insanity of my life. Those 15 minutes twice a week before class may be the only calm moments i have.  


She is young (early 30’s), very fit, stacked, friendly and seemingly not modest. So i should have caught the signs. Then again she met my wife and daughters.  So i never thought to look for them. Then again Red was the last woman i “met” there and ahe couldn’t have given less of a fuck about society’s conventions.

Life being what it is i was gone a few weeks in a row. One due to illness, two due to travel. I walk in half awake with jet lag, and barely caffeinated clutching an oil tanker sized coffee.  “You DIDN’T tell me you were going to be gone.” she said. Seeming only half joking.


Houston we have a stalker!

About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.