“Are you tender with her” it was not a question I expected. Not one I had ever been asked. I had to process it. Ask for clarification.
Admitting i wasn’t sure what she meant, which is often the case. She repeated the question “are you tender with her. Kind, supportive, affectionate…” her voice trailed off rather than adding more.
In a way i was taken back. At the same time the question seemed deeply important to her and strangely intiment to me.
“i’m not an abusive jerk.” it wasn’t meant as a defensive statment. “It can be easy to confuse the rough interchanges with the real world dynamic.” I added on
“i kiss her hello and good bye, there are as many gentle touches as there are rough ones. She feels warm and soft curled up next to me and i very much like that.”
After a short pause “so yes i am tender with her, supportive, polite, and kind…except for the times that we agree that I shouldn’t be.”
She simply said. “Thanks i just wanted to understand.” Amd then moved in to other topics seemingly satisfied on some level that i am more than just my kinks with another.