A lot of thoughts have been going through my head lately, not the least of which involves the possible role of tasks in a power exchange dynamic with the Sexy Little Temptress. I may be a Top but there is no doubt when push comes to shove I’m a slave to Ambition, Power(in a corporate and economic sense) and my career. In many ways outside of kink our lives are driven by tasks, hopefully with the intention of producing an specific desired out come. Perhaps they can server the same function with in a power exchange relationship with the objective being developing the relation and staying connected.
Professional obligations have left the question of my ability to engage in an ongoing power exchange D/s type dynamic with anyone. In some ways it has been tried and certainly i’ve engaged in scene based scenarios. My lifestyle outside of kink seems to preclude anything more. Yet there really is a void as is so often referenced (and not the kind I fill with sleeping pills).
Why Tasks and Power Exchange or on my mind
A past Kink of the Week topic of tasks made me wonder if this could be included as part of a workable distance based solution for the Temptress and me. A few months back (or 6+ who’s counting really) I tackled that very topic BDSM Tasks in terms of my relationship with Alice. I have wondered if tasks within another D/s relationship could help keep the connection and power exchange dynamic across distances until a partner and I could physically make time to be together.
Could a set of regular requirements make up for my absence? Could additional tasks close the BDSM gap of oceans, continents, and time zones?
If so what would they be? Match your panties to my soul tuesday and send me proof. Sexy Black Panties are always a welcome sight and text picture surprise. Well sexy anything is always a welcome surprise so let’s not read into this one too much.
Call me and describe how wearing your nipple clamps feels and what you wish I could do to you right now in very graphic detail, Sure all of those sort of things would be fun, amp us up a bit more.
Then I go to thinking again. Which is of course always dangerous. What really is my role in the her life? Yes Lover and play partner. But also that of a friend, someone to be steady and solid at difficult times, a person who can set asides their own needs(or being honests lust and wants) to support what is truly best for her. With that in mind odds are most of my role is not very kinky and that’s perfectly OK. Instead of a guy who is in the “Friend zone” I’m a guy in the friends with benefits zone. For the record that’s a much better place you should try it some time.
Don’t get em wrong I like the idea of asking her to “do things” for me while we’re apart . And yes I would love to even at a distance be in that space we share where I am calling the shots and allow her to reach that blissed out mindless state she craves. But history shows I suck at cyber, don’t really do phone sex (beyond flirtation), and sexting with me becomes more about daily life and logistics than anything actually sex then add in the confusion my odd sentence structures and persistent typos would cause. A recipe for disaster with out a doubt.
… but if we tried It things might look something like
Her – “I really want you”
Me “Fucking 2 million states between us. Someone needs to invent a teleporter”
Her “Oh god I want you to do X, i want to feel Y, I’ miss your ZZZ”
Me “Jesus if I had a teleporter I could bend you over the couch, lift your skirt, tear off your panites and fuck you so hard right now. Have you ever really thought about whether or not teleporters could really work. I mean everything else from those old science fiction shows has been created, Speaking of which can you dress up like …
Her “ I am not dressing up like….
See that’s the problem with cyber/sexting with a nerd.
It’s ok to laugh. I sure as fuck am.
Back on topic now
I would love to challenge her to take a sexy picture every week for me. They could range from cute to sexy, from demure to dirty, from submissive to wanton. I do miss the looking her eyes and her cute little smile when she knows things are about to get going in the way she wants.
I’d have her share them, tell me why she took it, what fantasies it sparked or fulfilled. Send her on a shopping spree for new implements to beat her with. Sometimes with a requirement for something in particular and other times letting her choose freely. And yes it would be fun, it would help keep us connected in that way, and we do have an amazing connection. It could grow and change, plus add insight into what to plan for her in scenes without tipping my hand in advance making her wait to know exactly what I was going to do to her next.
But then comes the reality of my Power Exchange Dynamic. As was mentioned earlier how can i be sure to build her up, to make her see how special she is, and not just to me or other lovers but over all. I worry that as fun as the sexy stuff could be that it would over shadow what really makes us work and that is all the other levels we connect on, that we share and discuss, and that i would never want to change, to force through some contrived Ds act or task. It has to be real, to stay open and honest and genuine. I wonder if by in some way if we wander too far into the darkness of kink if it would taint the thing that makes it all work. What happens if I’m not there to whisper in her ear, to read her body language that something is not just uncomfortable to her but truly not working. I worry about that more than anything.
So my reality of this dynamic
The reality of a power exchange dynamic is that while I can’t always be there and I do want to be. While we work on so many levels there is something in this case that makes me want to do and try new things with her to keep that connection when I can’t take her over my knee, or put a hand to her throat, or tie her to something and make her cum until she floats away begging me to stop, begging me to continue or something in between. Who knows where this will lead? want to go on a nice long leisurely walk with me, mostly I’m your friend and it will be a sunny day but every so often we’ll slip into the shadows.
So like all great things that evolve and improve perhaps it is time to experiment? There is a part of this that is for me, to know she is really there, engaged, and wanting some of the same things I do. Yet if that is the case there is a larger part of this that would be for her