A Poorly Timed Delay 3

24-hour-clock-6-30

This is the first in a series of  very short posts unlike the ones I would usually Share here.  It is in fact far more personal than I tend to be but a dear friend thought there may be merit in showing a different part of my world.  So I am going to try it.  They have not been edited or revised sine they were written.

Perhaps another poor decision on my part.

 

-Mal

 

A Poorly Timed Delay

 

Just stop. No matter what you’re doing make sure you are being clear. Say what you have to say. Don’t wait, be direct, don’t think is obvious. Be overly direct, not cruel or pleading but clear. Let them know in no uncertain terms what they have come to mean to you.  if not you will regret it.

 

So as i stood in a parking lot for the second time in nine months saying what might be my last goodbye to a person who had become so important in my life, In  far more powerful way others had. In silly Shakespearean manner It killed me.  It was all too much and i had done everything that i swore i wouldn’t. No more letting anyone in, no more being attached, no more being disposable.

 

Yet in the previous 72 hours i had openly admitted to having done that and worse. I let the words escape my mouth, the foolish dreams, the impossible.  Admission of things i wanted to say differently, during happier times. To be reassured of or at least know how she felt and where i stood in her world. In importance to her.

Yet i couldn’t watch her leave, I couldn’t look back,  I am not emotional, 99.9999% of the time I am completely bullet proof. Unfortunately the week included a bomb I never expected.


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I’m an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.


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