Mine Unrightfully Possessive
Note This is the second in my short series of raw and unedited post. You can read ” A poorly Time Delay” if so inclined. Additionally the “Unpartnered” post was intended to somewhat more eloquently deal with my emotional reaction (or baggage) at a rope event and dinner. It triggered a few things for me outside of just “us” that go way back.
I try but don’t always share well,
She used the word first “mine” in sharing a secret with me during some time together. It was in those days that i had begun to think of her in those same terms…”mine” even though what that actually meant or could entail had never been broached.
I wanted and needed to say so much. I’m not normally possessive but in an instant went from no pressure and no worries. Which i do mean to MINE. Though it was not my place to lay claim to. Looking down the road as the plan was to bring and introduce me to close friends, some family. And in turn if no where else but my mind i had already thought about how to expand her into parts of my world. My girls, maybe someday even the Blonde.
She knew she would have to share me, i expected to have to share her but felt her slipping away. There are not words for that feeling. I just wanted to grab her and kiss her. I wanted to claim her as mine.
Instead i checked those feelings and did what i thought was best. After all her happiness is truly something i want for her even if that meant she couldn’t be “mine”.
It was time for me to walk the walk. So i said my piece and was honest. Emotions are not me. Cracks in the armor are a once in a decade thing. I am not one for heartfelt admissions and do not make promises i can not keep