The Devil’s Last Details 3

malflics collection of "essential" spanking paddles

So fair warning and a trigger warning in that  this post deals with the topic of death.  In particular mine…though not any time soon hopefully.

It is not overly serious or ominous but does take into account that inevitability. Ironically it has been sitting in drafts for a while but between then and now Kendra Holiday had written a much better and generically useful post called Preparing for the Worst.  That deals with prepping for that sort of thing from a legal perspective in you’re in a nontraditional relationship.   

 

`Mal

The Devil’s Last Details

Life is increasingly complicated and as I prepared to re enter the Kink world publicly (and in person) for the first time in 18 months. There is always those things that need done. Event registrations, travel and logistics, and of course partnered or unpartnered. Which is always a painful and emotionally  charged topic for me.

With that comes the ocd part of my kink where EVERYTHING must be organized, sorted, checked and re checked.

It’s a Sunday afternoon. I was planning to go to a rope themed munch but instead had a chance to spend a few extra hours with the Blonde.  We watched a little youth baseball, had a nice breakfast (that a cardiologist would not have approved of), hit running fetish store for snazzy new shoes to shuffle my fat ass around in mile after mile, and then some more baseball.  It was really nice as the amount of time i get with her is too limited. The time i get her to myself and present in what we’re doing  even more limited (this is both our faults, she shuts down about as well as I do).

On the drive home i ask her to stop at Dom Depot for a storage container.  My collection of wicked things has grown.  She looks at me and in all earnestly asks “What do i do with all those things if something happened to you? If you suddenly died?”

Of course my first urge is to ask if she is planning to kill me in my sleep.  And then letting that pass blurt out “Ship it all to Raven and Alice. You have their address!”

The logic was as follows. At this point we’re getting along. I don’t want to push it and say well the purple ropes go to the Temptress, the green ropes go to Y, the statutory grape and chocolate ones are yours baby so do whatever. The remainder are unclaimed etc.

 

In a somewhat somber tone “I don’t mind the rope. I might keep that.  But you have ALL those OTHER Things”.  Again my first instinct was to ask which other things…there is admittedly a wide variety.  Deep down knew she meant my vast collection of paddles. They make her uncomfortable and not in the fun way.

 

Look I love her. I wished she shared more of my sexuality, would participate even casually  (again) in some of my kinks but the truth I’ve learned  better than to hope for anything non-vanilla sexual of a sexual nature.  I have quit chasing.  When i come to think that might be a possibility it always leads to me getting rejected. i get angry with her. Hurt and literally takes months (for me) to get back to where we were.  So I no longer ask, consider the possibility, or any such thing kink or otherwise.

 

Still if my plane falls out of the sky, lighting strikes or whatever this Devil’s last details have already been cared for. Who will be told by who, who can help wind up the site,  social media, profiles etc.  Yet i had never considered what to do with the tools of my trade.  Diva is the appointed messenger for my extended world.  Raven and Alice will by the lynch pin beyond her and the list is clear and current at all times, contact details, etc.  There are explict instructions and documents about who has access to me. Whonis to be informed and how often.

The Blonde offered “I could just drop it off at one of  C’s leather events”  The offer half playful and half seriously. Over breakfast we had both been invited via (vanilla) Facebook accounts to a friend’s first Mr. Leather competition.    This of course became an intellectual musing for me. A stacked pretty blonde woman shows up at a leather meeting with her dead husbands bins of kinky things.   She hates chaps, doesn’t get Leather, and barely acknowledges my own kink life (and needs).  Drops  it all unceremoniously just inside the door and proclaims “Here’s my perverted dead husbands kinky stuff.  Have fun boys!”   Cue the music and credits…fade to black.

Last Details are certainly important.  I had never thought about  my kinks being something to be handled after I’m gone.  I’ve thought about being shot by jealous husband’s and lovers.  I’m dead and there are bins of rope, binds of hitty things, bins of dildos, vibes, etc.   So the initial thought is throw them away, so fucking what!   If we both die that’s what kids would most likely do.

 

TCB – “What if someone went through the garbage?”

Me – “So fucking what. None of their business.”

TCB – “I would be so embarrassing.  What would they think?”

Me – “Ummm do people regularly go through our garbage?” (If not we have been cross cut shredding out mail since before 2000 so we may be a little paranoid)

TCB – “What would I do?”

 

 

The conversation went on along those lines for a while.

In the end I determined that the bins would be color coded.  Green bins are good meaning only rope and maybe a few books or journals are in them.  Black is bad meaning Paddles, crops, floggers and whatever else I suspect would cause her discomfort.   In a lot of ways the entire conversation was both insightful, and confusing.

 

This Posts Last Details

No doubt she tolerates my kinks, need for other partners, and all associated activities.  Sometimes she is very supportive and encouraging for me to go to things, to make time to see partners and friends.  She’s helped plan dates, mader suggestions of places she thought one person or another would like to go.   And at other times she’s the exact opposite.  Possessive, jealous, worried.  Maybe all of those, maybe none of them and I misread the situation.

 

The fact that she “may want to keep the rope” is perhaps the most confusing.  It is no secret I started (trying) to do rope because of the Blonde.   It’s also so secret that at some point it ceased to be something she’d consider partaking in.   Is it because rope despite all it’s pretty colors has practical applications?   Who fucking knows.  If I’m dead this Devil’s Last Details are now cared for.  Green Bins I guess will stay, the black bins will be disposed of.  Which makes me a little sad. Now that I’m dead but that no one will ever enjoy or love to hate those things again whether in my hand or another.

 


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.


3 thoughts on “The Devil’s Last Details

  • Lord Raven

    It is something I have wondered too. If I go first I have no worries that Alice will take care of everything in a proper manor. But if the roles are reversed and she goes first, then things might get a bit odd. Though in the end there really aren’t too many in my friends or family circle that would be shocked.
    The thought of all those evil paddles getting tossed is almost heartbreaking but I do understand the reasoning. I just wish you long life and many many more years of wicked fun

  • Alice King

    I have to honestly admit I have read this several times. Not just here but as it sat in draft, my little brain is having a hard time thinking of certain implements sitting in a black bin in some dump vs being used or in some place of honor. Yep my brain works in some fucked ways.

    You always plan better than me. Well that is no surprise, as usual you have me thinking of what loose ends we might have to tie up here “just in case” Most of what needs to be done has been spoken of however we truly need to put certain things in writing. I know!!!! You have told me this in the past and I can hear you now as you read this =)

    • Malflic Post author

      On occasion I am very pragmatic. Ignored Dad stil has log ins and in the event something happens could help with the site. Diva is the Lynch pin of my notification and communication plan should i not be able to. The Blonde has rights over my care decisions with Diva as a secondary.

      Hopefully decades will have passed before any of it needs to be of concern.

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