In the classic literary sense all of this is true and none of this is true. Every word is an undeniable fact delivered from the Gods and at the same time every letter is an utter and complete lie spewed by the devils and demons that taunt our soon to be loved Anti Heros.
You dear friends are about to embark on an epic journey of Lust, and Sex. Note I did not say love. Friendship for certian but none of the trappings that had recently trapped him elsewhere . Our man is not Don Quixote looking for his Dulcinea. Though he is not much less deluded.
It is not a tale of damnation and redemption. Not a walk through the circles of hell with Dante and Virgil but rather a lively dance through the Karma Sutra with Nitri and Rati all set to a soundtrack of pornographic music and deliciously erotic auditory expressions.
And remember on this journey everyword is the absolute truth spoken by the Gods and every letter an utter lie from the deepest depths of hell. It is completely up to you to decide which is which.
And our Anti Hero’s neck is ticklish for the first time since he can remember. Maybe 20 years. But that is a story for a later time now its time for the story about the Sexy Little Temptress and the Stupid Man.
Part 1 Wasted Space and the Stupid Man
So the picture tells the entire story really. The morning after, away and another empty bed. Wasted space in both the bed and as you’ll come to see a stupid man’s head. Which in this case it was with out a doubt the emptiness was his own damn fault.
So let’s say there was Beautiful Little Temptress who offered to be there. And he is a self proclaimed world class Lothario of sorts. It should be a slam dunk. After all she showed up at his door with bags in hand. Was more than willing and it had been a wonderful evening. Oh did I mention she was on the bed looking every bit the coy seductress with a tempting little grin. A beguiling innocence to her appearance for such an intensely erotic creature and he would find even up to that point himself nearly drowning in her deep dark eyes. Yes the woman was literally in bed when she offered to stay.
Then though it gets complicated and as is often the case with him. He easily becomes a typically oblivious male operating at a level that can only be classified as infinitely stupid.
So did the deal close? A simple nod and “yes i’d realty like you to stay” would have been all it took; instesd he went Boy Scout. Or more accurately literally world class stupid and passed. For as good as he is in many respects there are times when we all still miss clues, lose opportunities, and like in this case let some deranged 7th circle of hell code of chivalry take over.
Dear readers it’s time for the play along so use your best “Mister Nice Guy” voice as you read the next paragraph
“Well miss as much as i would love to not sleep most of the night in this bed with you i’m currently performing the super human feat of not tearing your clothes off and doing very dirty things to you. Soooo it’s probably best, if you maybe, well you know, maybe you should go home.”
So what the fuck was the Stupid Man thinking?
1) Anytime anyone offers to actually sleep with me, host me at their house, take a nap on the beach or sits next to me on a plane. Not just lovers but friends, family, foreign dignitaries or any living creature for that matter comes the concern that more than anything insomnia is an unwavering companion. The amount of time spent laying awake in the dark and trying not to think and go back to sleep is alarming.
2) i never want to be “that guy”. If you know me then you know that as much especially early in a freindship (particularly of a sexual nature) no matter how casual and NSA I will move slowly. Gaurded in so many ways. And well at least if it you’re going to be more than Miss Last Night. The slow pace at first might be maddening; it will feel like forever in slut years. Put up with me i’m a lot of fun after that period passes.
3) Boundaries – to me yours are absolute. Mine with the exception of a few pretty major things (no breath play, blood play, safe sex only, etc) others are more fluid. Sometimes even when they really shouldn’t be. It’s a logical process really; but we’ll come back to this entire discussion another time.
Now back to our “Friend and his Sexy Little Temptress.
So he went about the night, it was wonderfully fun, very connective and frankly incredibly fucking hot . The evening had all but reached its end; she offers again indirectly to stay. Just in case we haven’t clearly established the two basic facts I’m a stupid man and the wasted space is both a spot in bed and in the giant melon of a head I tote around. Well some moron who should have said “yes stay here” hours earlier missed the clue. And by the time he realized it she was gone.
So instead of saying “of course I want you to stay. In fact I want to do so many things to you and perhaps as fucking stupid and lame as it sounds just laying next to you might be one of them” nope some dumb man who we would like to think doesn’t really represent us goes blowing past that opportunity.
Fast forward 30 minutes and he’s in bed alone waiting for “got home safe” text. He looked at the empty space beside him. She could have been there. In fact and this may be typical male ego but he thinks she wanted to be there instead of 30 miles up the highway. Yet he can still feel her touch on his skin like the haunting Sexy Little Temptress she is.
So let’s call a spade a spade the proverbial “he” is without a doubt me.
So I start to wonder if she would have been curled up beside me. Laying on me and if i would have been able to keep my hands off her long enough to sleep; but as we already know I don’t sleep well anyway even without that temptation. And ahe had been tempting enough to smash through most of the boundaries i had set for myself. For the record you should bet the under on me keeping my hands off her.
Then it’s two am and I wake up with a slight chill on my skin. She could haven been there warm next to me. The space next to me was empty it was wasted space and I am not disputing in this case to be the text book definition of a stupid man. Fortunately I’m not one prone to repeating his mistakes and usually recover very well.