Recently I read a very curious article that I did a double take on. It was a good read for sure but it showed something interesting I honestly can say I haven’t seen a lot of writes on. That is why is a Top/Dom what they are and what they get out of playing, or why do they do it at all. Two weeks of thinking and wanting to express my view on this and it all really comes down to I top because I enjoy it. I am sure there are several differing answers and I can speak only for myself so here are my greatest loves in the kink world and why I do what I do
- Blade play: This is my number one kink even with me making paddles and writing about spanking but for me nothing holds a candle to the feel of anticipation of flesh with a blade against it. It really matters little if it is razor sharp or butter knife dull, it is what it represents, having someone trust me enough to literally put their life into my hands. That gasp the person makes when the cold steel touches their skin is intoxicating. I have left more than a few beauty marks over the years, if push came to shove and I had to only choose one implement to play with it would be my blade.
- Breath play: Nothing takes my breath away like doing breath play. I am very careful with this one, if things go wrong there is no reset button. I do however get great enjoyment from using whatever form I desire to use to take my partners breath away, then watch their face as the air returns to their lungs and they come alive, often in a powerful orgasm. I would rather see the face of a partner I am playing with while doing this but with Alice it is a bit different, I know her well enough to know her body language and limits. I know for a fact how long I can hold her like that safely and I don’t push it a few more seconds just to see if it works better for her.
- Consensual – Nonconsensual play: yeah I know there are several different stands on this one. Short version of this is I got into this kind of play early on. A girl friend of mine before college was all for me taking what I wanted. In her words being a man and not accepting her saying no. At no point did I truly force her into sex, she would tell me if I really wanted it I would fight for it and take what I wanted. I have revisited that kind of play with several willing partners in my years and truth be told I think sex wise I orgasm the hardest during those sessions.
- Spanking: Ok you all can breathe a sigh of relief now. I do enjoy a nice ass presented and savor the sweet sound of flesh yielding to some wicked device of choice or a bare hand. Paddles tend to get the spotlight here but I am no stranger to floggers, belts, canes or crops as well as other weapons of ass destruction. Those beautiful red angry marks left on pale skin that in a few days will yield a beautiful rainbow of colors as a reminder of a fun play time make me smile and feel as warm on the inside as the ass did when they were applied.
- Rope play: What can be more seductive and a sign of trust and surrender than having a partner allow you to tie them to a bed, door frame or various other immoveable objects. I will readily admit I have been on both ends of this one, once being a sub of a beautiful Dom when I was in college who loved to tie me up. It is a trust thing, after all I doubt any of us would willingly allow a stranger with unknown intention tie us up so we didn’t have a chance to fight or run. There are many different type of rope play out there, from the decorative (that I am not very good at doing) to the more hands on restraining a partner. My view (and I know some disagree with me on this) if it works for you and your situation then go with it as long as you keep a pair of safety scissors on hand just in case.
Ok by now you have figured one of the major aspects of me and my play style. With a partner I know well I am a RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) but I have to know them intimately and have played many times before. If I am with someone new it will be full SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual). So why do I do it? Simple I enjoy it. In my own way I get great pleasure from pushing the boundaries and exploring the edges of life. This really applies to many parts of who I am, so why should it be different in my sexuality? It is also a feeling I get inside when I have someone who completely trusts me, knowing they are willing to allow me to put them into a situation they will enjoy and yet know it could go horribly wrong if someone with other than honorable means was doing it.
I don’t take my position as a Top (I prefer to be called a sadist for that is what I am) lightly. I know that the same trust that a partner puts in me can be broken if I do something that is past our boundaries that we have together, through much discussion, set in place. It is also most likely why I play with so few people. Truth be told over the last 4 years I have not played with any other sub/bottoms other than my sub. Partially it is me not getting out to look and partially because my own kinky desires are not all too readily accepted in many circles that I know of. I have played with my sub with other Top and still will, and she is more than willing to allow me to play with others too.