Whoever said humility was a good thing, please come here, I would like to kick your ass. That being said a recent event really took me back and made me rethink and second guess myself.
It goes like this: A company (that will remain nameless) that does adult films contacted me. We chatted back and forth as I expressed an interest in their particular genera that many of their films are based around. It was great and I was getting excited, submitting my version of scene I would be interested in. Now I had their interest as they asked for full body shots and a shot specifically of my cock. I was all too willing to share (as many of my readers know I am rather shy about how I look…ok stop laughing.) A day later my excitement turned into one of the greatest let downs and humiliating moments on my adult career. The following is a paraphrase of the letter I received.
“There are some concerns about the size of your cock.” Ok breathe man I know they are scared the poor girl will go screaming when she sees it in fear of being invaded with such a monster. Yeah I wish. “Though it is proportioned well to your body it is not overly impressive with your size. You look of is defiantly what we are looking for with you tattoos and all but your dick seems rather small.” What the fuck? I didn’t know I would be working with a size queen?
I don’t think my ego ever deflated so fast in my life. I mean it knocked down the trees across the street it was so harsh a release. I took a deep breath and thought it through then read the rest of the letter.
“If you would be able to lose 15-20 lbs we would be very much interested in having you work with one of our films.” It went on as they suggested crossfit and other workout ideas. It wasn’t till I spoke with Malflic today that all the pieces came together. It is not that my favorite member of my body is diminutive it is that they are looking for the extreme look. Either a 9” dick to impale the screaming victim on or some thin guy who makes a cock like mine look even bigger.
The truth is unless your into the amateur porn look then most of the films are based on extreme looks. The massive swinging dick dangling from rock hard bodies, and perfectly shaped peach vaginas with inflated or at least large tits, fills the endless list. Don’t get me wrong, I can admire the petite lass deep throating a long slong, or a man of steel body banging a bouncing set of breast but let’s get real. Unless you’re one of the chosen few in life genetics will be against you. Gravity is a mother fucker and genetics often are stacked in a different direction.
The truth is I have lost between 40 -60 pounds of weight, been exercising like a possessed person and think I look better than I did a year ago or even 6 months ago for that matter. I’m in the best shape I have been in since I was probably 30. Then again I hear those words and it really kind of hurt my feelings. Do I want to fix that, yes. Should I care, no. But there is something inside me, I think it’s my over inflated ego, that will drive me till I reach the goal of at least being able to do a film or two. I want to hear the other person I would be banging try and say I got a small cock when doing a scene.