A Candid Conversation about Rope Bondage 5

pink emt bangade shears

pink emt bangade shears

The Pink Scissors that led to the conversation…and yes we talked about them being one time use.

“What do you use scissors for?” is how it all began. I looked up and waited for the punch line as my 20 year old took a seat across from my desk and grabbed the hot pink EMT shears I keep on my desk and begun cutting snowflakes out of a piece of paper.

“To cut snowflakes I guess” was the playful retort thinking nothing more of it. We are all world class smart asses and beyond fluent is sarcasm. She actually paused for a split second which is how I knew there was something more to the question. “No when you do rope. Is it in case it gets around someone’s neck?”

Immediately I recognized this was one of those teaching moments…so yes my 20 year old knows I like rope and occasionally go to “rope things”. Eventually that kind of openness would lead to questions…which is better than the alternative and we have always been honest in an age appropriate way with her.  “You should never put rope around someone’s neck. They’re really for if you need to get someone out of rope quickly for any reason whether it’s they’ve asked, or something is wrong or dangerous, or if they have any kind of emergency”

She just looked at me, thought for a second, then nodded. “What might be a situation when you need to cut someone out?” She asked and knowing her as I do decided to take a direct approach. It was important to know was she simply concerned with safety or did she want something else. So I offered an explanation of scissor s and rescue hooks. Using a suspension as an example.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” It became a straight forward academic conversation on rope and terminology (Top, Bottom, etc.), styles and consideration. Not so much how or why I liked it which would have been harder to answer accurately. After all it was easy to articulate what I knew and what I’ve discussed with others who bottom but that was the one question I feared.

At her request I showed her some of the instructional  books, talked about Damsel in Distress (because she asked and that tells me she had been curious and looking), and when asked I showed her some examples of suspensions on Fet.  All with appropriate cautions and in an academic (or geeky) tone. I warned her that I’m not an expert and some of what she is asking about is not anything I am skilled enough to do.

“Do men get tied up?” She asked after a long pause. “Of course. Some men like to be tied up.”   All but staring me down “and do women do the tying?” Answering that tying is not a gender based role any more than being tied is. It’s about a person’s preference.  With that she apparently had all the answers she needed. “Fucking cool…hey look this looks like a day of the dead mask not a snow flake” and off she went.


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.


5 thoughts on “A Candid Conversation about Rope Bondage

  • Simplicity

    That’s wonderful to have that kind of relationship with a child. I don’t have kids but do have a niece and nephew and I know the birds and bees questions are fast approaching. I hope they grow up to be not be mixed up about sex.

  • Malflic Post author

    I’m very lucky in that we’ve always been able to be open with our kids.

  • lilytheropeho

    It seems you addressed her questions appropriately. Gotta love the hot pink shears. My biggest awkward moment was when my son came to the Rope Social. Aja had to teach the new folk that time.

    • Malflic Post author

      I certainly tried to cover all the bases and in fact the Rope Social was a resource I pointed her toward if she’s interested in a few more months when she turns 21. I offered to drive, to an intro to you and Aja then pick her up when it’s over if she wanted.

      As for the pink scissors…you literally gave me that pair to me the fist time i ordered rope from you. They never made it into my kit but are very well loved in a vanilla kind of way.

  • Jade

    I LOVE the pink shears! And I love the conversation and that you are able to have it with her. As you know, I’m very open about being poly with my kids, and the all know that I write kinky erotica and a sex blog, but they’ve never asked about this level of detail. I hope I an able to discuss it with them if and when they do as wonderfully as you did here. Well done!

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