Life as always is unpredictable and most of the time that is part of the fun. The question is how does a guy in his mid 40’s meet a group of very pretty women in their mid to late 20’s who spend the next few hours chatting him up and trying to get him drunk? The answer is simple he has to make an ass of himself in front of a large group and then (omitting overly damning facts) tell the story behind it. Which is my good friend Jade who I absolutely adore is a very bad influence on me.
It’s a Monday night. I’m on the road at a less than buttoned down corporate event…one in which I was actually having fun. As part of the above mentioned raven haired beauty’s bad influence I set up with a friend to video me rolling a bowling ball backwards into the waiting bowlers. No one else is in on the gag. So there i amd standing at the edge of the lane like a fool, I draw my arm back and with a clank and the unmistakeable sound of a rolling bowling ball launch it back wards toward the onlookers. It came off pretty well as my own staff yell at me for sucking at bowling. After a little while a group a few lanes down from ours approaches me and asks what happened.
Thinking nothing of it “oh I did it because I promised a friend i would.”
She looked at me incredulously “really?”
The inquiry was doubting in nature. I simply smiled, probably shrugged, and headed back to my own little party. A little time passes and the hostess of the event asked if I drink Jager Bombs.
We’d been chatting all night and just thought it was passing banter. A few minutes later one of the ladies from down they way; a tall and strikingly pretty brunette with bright green eyes walked up. “It was for a girl wasn’t it?” I looked at . Her not necessarily understanding the question. “You threw ball backwards on purpose for a girl.”
Thinking to myself after all why would a guy intentionally make an ass of himself. I simply nodded and smiled at her. She beamed and asked “tequila?” Not realizing I was agreeing to anything simply replied “tequila?” Intending it as a question. She bounced away, easy come and and easy go. Only later realizing that she was buying me a shot when she arrived back at my lane carrying a tray filled with them showed up.
Smiling coyly at me “no training wheels…you’re man enough right?” Noticing the lack of lime and salt figured out what she meant. The game was on…three shots downed in about as many minutes. She shook her head and made lovely sounds as the liquor burned her throat…I drank each perfectly stoically and no chaser.
I passed at continuing at the pace. She asked a lot of questions and I heard how sweet I was. Occasionally she was downing another drink. My own group was introduced to my new and growing group of friends.
She invited me to go out with her group…I declined. She badgered me to walk across the parking lot to a crowded bar across the way. “We can dance a little” Again I passed.
She batted her eyes, touched my arm, amped up the flirting to down right suggestive and nearly irresistible. I remained unmoved.
The truth is I couldn’t have left with her if I wanted to there were junior people present but the reality was I didn’t want to go along. “Do you always tell pretty girls no” she badgered me in one last attempt to get me to join her…she did pouty very well.
“No, only the the truly beautiful ones. I always make them wait.” I smiled and headed out into the night, hopped into the back seat of a waiting car and disappeared into the darkness.
So how do you you get a group of beautiful women to buy you drinks? Apparently you throw a bowling ball backwards to give a friend a laugh tehn refuse to get drunk with your new acquaintances, and give off every vibe you know how that says “yes you’re really fucking hot but I’m not going to try pick you up.” Who would have guessed I play hard to get so well? Well there might be a few of you.