What an epic year it’s been not just for sex writers but the world in general. Despite what from my perspective seems like a growing and thought filled movement in terms of the acceptance of a healthy body image, as differnt sizes and shapes as truly wondrous and beautiful, of sex education not being stoic and unrealistic, and of “nontraditional” life styles here the States where Gay marriage has finally begun to be wrestled away from those in the pulpit and seen as a private and legal matter between consenting adults that is not a religion or government’s business to oppose or criticize. The progress is slow but it is progress.
Yet we have also experienced setbacks that in many ways are even more stunning in terms of attempts of censorship (In the UK by the government elsewhere by Face Book, Google, Amazon, etc) against all things erotic, US government spying (NSA, Snowden, Obama’s denials), corporations are being allowed to poison us with their products passing as food, only to sell us drugs to cure the disease they created while being granted unheard of protections from civil action. I’d have expected this under a Republican controlled White House but the fact that the supposed champions of the people and change have shown their true colors sadly shouldn’t shock us. Beyond bad math skills on fiscal issues the democrats are every bit as treacherous, power hungry harboring contempt of their citizenry as their rivals the Republicans who simply do it with a different tone and mantra.
Sex workers are still demonized, women and men are still shaming people for being sexual creatures outside of monogamy; and at times inside of it. Sex is a sin, pleasure is wrong. I’m probably making baby Jesus cry right now! Sex work hasn’t progressed even a little in terms of acceptance as a legitimate and much needed profession. Rather it has regressed and become something to exploit on the news, to scare the uninformed, and bolster votes from the morality crowd at election time.
Then there are the supposed loving and tolerant religions that are openly becoming militant and spewing hate speech and violent actions towards those they deem to be sinning against their beliefs. Just so there are no mistakes I’m pointing that comment at Christians. Already militant religions (yes I mean Islam) continue to use violence and fear against any who decry them and still regularly attempt to kill anyone deemed to have fallen afoul of their rules in their cites and villages. Their faithful have begun trying to ha Sharia law in non Islamic places…like America. In particular they like to kill their own women, and of course infidels. It makes for great press! Then there are the threats to kill anyone who questions them. As a world we are supposed to accept this as their right? To allow it without a legitimate deafening moral outrage from the world not living in the stone age? Instead as species most people are worrying more about sports teams and reality shows than discrimination, murder, and violence against innocents. After all it doesn’t affect them, right?
Moving beyond geo political matter as Sex writers of whatever ilk we live; mostly by choice in a world that is a dangerous place. Each and every time we choose to share something whether pure fiction, an image of our bodies, the details of our desires, experiences, or encounters we take on a little more risk.
Risk that someone might “out” us to family, friends, or employers. The risk that those who aren’t open minded may judge us harshly and unfairly for doing what to us is perfectly normal and natural. Risk in a larger sense that the technology we rely on to reach not just our current readers and friends but the thousands or perhaps even millions more may become our own worst enemy used against us by conservative investors with a moral agenda to limit our reach, by our governments to criminalize not only our actions but our thoughts and fantasies. By religious extremists who wish to show their faithful and the fearful what will be done to those who choose not to conform to their will. Yet we take these risks not for the money, or the fame ,or the reward…because for most of us there in not any of that. Yet we write and speak out, we have a need to share our thoughts and talents in hope that might be someone else out there looking for those very words to help them feel understood, loved, or accepted.
While I’m much more comfortable being perceived as a sinner and doing the work of evil rather than anything of redeeming moral value simply by discussing sex, writing about, participating in it and liking it makes us easy targets. After all the word pervert, deviant, slut, whore, and others ring in people’s ears long after they’re said. Whether they are true or not doesn’t matter. Today it’s censor the poly kinky sex freaks and that is all well and good for most of the world. They don’t have to confront their own feelings and desires. Will they feel the same when the censorship expands as it most certainly will to include their political opinions, religious beliefs they differ from the powers that be? By then it will be too late.
Still each of us as writers has probably unknowingly done more good for a person we’ve never heard of. Who’s name we will never know, and will never leave a comment than we realize. Even if that thing was just to help turn them on a little bit, to be just a little adventurous with their partner, lover or spouse, to provide a fantasy, or something to make them feel like a truly sexual creature if even for only a few seconds.
I do my best not to speak for others. I have never advocated my way of life or lifestyle as something that should be adhered to by “everyone”. It is just what works for me. Sadly the world doesn’t work that way. It is easier to follow than to reason and think, it is more comfortable to chastise than express knowing compassion, and it is certainly is more popular to condemn and damn those who are not like you than it to accept the need for differences.
As for those of us here we’ll keep screaming. We’ll keep loving who we love, living life our way on our terms, and hoping someday humanity as a whole will wake the hell up. Sadly though my friends I believe I am, and if you write or live like I do are really just screaming into the void.
Note: This piece represents my opinion and my vision for the site as its creator. Lord Raven, Alice and the others who help me here from time to time may have a differing view and are equally welcome to express it here any time they choose.