The Tale of Two Penises 9

Big Pink Dildo next to wine and candles

big pink editI’m not a fan of cock shots.   As an element in a picture, a part of an overall aesthetic they’re fine but a cock shot in and of itself meaning a picture that screams “Look at my raging hard on” well I’m not so much a fan of and outside of a few gay friends I’m challenged to find people who think it’s an appealing approach regardless of size.  So with that said fair warning I’m going to violate my own rules because this post has cock shots in it where the penis is the featured element.  If you’re solely interested in the pics they’re at the bottom. Skip the text, no offense taken, happy perving and hope you’re not disappointed. Also Be sure to hop over to Lord Raven’s post on the same topic from his point of view.

So with that lovely disclaimer out of the way let’s get to why I decided to do this and ask Lord Raven to play along in a post of his own to provide contrast (My bet is he is larger than me, I assume everyone is, it’s an ego problem really)  and eye candy for those so inclined.   A few weeks back John D offered up a post “How Big Are You 

where penis size, perceptions and misconceptions were discussed. Often I fail to be an innovator but am a pretty good imitator on occasion. During a twitter exchange he wrote something to the effect of “I hope other guys will do it to”   And I committed to this very topic in a few simple words about after we got to a web host that allows such things.   I do my best to be a man who keeps his commitments; here’s my take on the matter.

If you asked me “If I could change one thing about my body what would it be?”  I would without a doubt say whether in earnest or in jest “A Bigger Penis.”   It’s a joke I’ve made for decades referencing unrealistic dimensions of 17 inches long and a coke can wide. Still beyond the ridiculous dimensions the matter of size and insecurity about it is the truth at the root of the answer.   If I could be taller would I really care?  Not at all I’m 5’10” it works for me and my basketball career is long since over. What about thinner? So what I’m fine with my size.  I could be skinny if I wanted, I could starve myself down to little more than wingtips and bones if I really cared to, I’d like to be a little more linebacker and little less lineman looking but in the end it is who I am.  Moving to the material.  What if I could be richer?  Ahh not a body question and the question I wrestle with almost daily.  The answer is I could be if I wanted to make the sacrifices and take the risks needed to accumulate more wealth.  I’ve made choices that place quality of life (or my family’s quality of life anyhow) above the purely material.

 In most ways I like to think I’m just an average guy, not ugly but not drop dead good looking either.  Though that is a lie and I know it, it’s spin and positioning.  Here’s where I know I’m different Strength – in the Gym I’m on the high side of average but against the general population it’s a different story. The amount of books read – It’s a choice. Again I think I’m average but the truth is it’s something I control – I read roughly 72 novel length works a year (the number includes novels, legal items and business/analyst reports).  How much I travel – 150 flights a year both for work and pleasure combined; I’m a nomad.  Finally the number of women I’ve kept the company of.  Again something that at least in part I control – let’s just say if you’re reading this odds are I’m average but compared to the general population I’m over quota. 

What I can’t control is the one thing that I’d point to wishing I had the ability to change.  How big my dick is.  No matter how I’ve tried the stereo type mentality seems to apply to me. I love and admire women of varying shapes and sizes but can’t see beyond that for myself.  Do I want a bigger car?  No! Do I want a bigger house? Nope.  Sadly despite my best efforts I’ve adopted a stereo typical male approach, when it comes to penis; size bigger is better.  True or not it doesn’t matter and I can’t shake it.

Never mind that mine works without fail whenever asked to, that I’ve never had a single real complaint other than about it being hard again so soon and on occasion being insatiable.  And have only once been told by a size queen if given a choice she much prefers ridiculously huge unless getting fucked in the ass.   So I’m sitting here debating the topic.  I’ve printed the kit and am pondering whether or not to go through with it.   After I can work to run faster, bench more, buy a bigger house, be smarter, sleep with more women, have more fun, and go to exotic places. Still somehow I feel my size when measured will be decidedly average and it fucking annoys me because it’s the one thing in life I can’t change. Maybe it’s not size but the inability to influence it that annoys me. 

So without further adieu…


Penis Girth

In fairness like John I debated posting this at all. In my case it led to more over internal debate on how this attitude has affected the toys I’ve bought for lovers (What I buy is bigger than what the Blonde buys and always bigger than I am), my practices with in BDSM (I may not be hung like John Holmes but look what else I can do), and the fact I tend to shy away from picture of myself in a sexual situation (surprisingly not a size issue).  But those are topics for a future date since I’ve already written a completely unnecessary novella my endowment.


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I’m an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.

9 thoughts on “The Tale of Two Penises

  • Lord Raven

    The issue that plagues all men, size and how do we measure up. From the guy workouts to the locker rooms. Call me a freak if you wish but yes if I have a chance I will look and see how I measure up against other guys.
    I am glad we have taken on this subject because in reality as men we are as bad as women just with different equipment. Time to take the locker room giggles and sort truth from lie, reality from fantasy.

  • Rev. John Sleestaxx

    I joke when the subject comes up ‘that it is only 7″, but really, it was bigger but I had a lawn mower accident when I was younger.” “And no I do not want to talk about it.”

    • Big-DaddyM Post author

      I used the tool I had as instructed. Which is kind of ironic given the topic. Never mind the challenges of holding the damn too camera. All kidding aside it sort of reminds me of the old Penis Monologue days you held a few years back.

      • Rev. John Sleestaxx

        yeah I thought that too.

        I am ahead of my time.

        You all will be thinking that about me when the lord comes to get his people and you all are still here with your tape measures. LOL

        • Big-DaddyM Post author

          Working on my boat for the great flood. BTW what’s a cubit?

          • Rev. John Sleestaxx

            from elbow to tip of middle finger, why did i autocorrect that in a tweet?

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