Boys and their Toys 41

It seems from the first time a boy can touch himself till the grave, the dick, cock ding-a-ling or whatever you chose to call it is the toy of choice. It is also attributed to many of the decisions we make. I mean really guys when was there a chance to play air guitar nude and you did an Eddie Van Halen attempt, or just play helicopter and swing it around for fun. Post pics 007

Recently I ran across a blog done by on PENIS SIZE. Well I would like to add my two cents on this subject too. Oh and thank you John for the link to the new measuring device (of course I downloaded one) 

I can’t remember which adult magazine I read it in but this topic was brought up. Record length and thickness, from the grandest of all to the smallest ever recorded. Then came the section on average size, I took a deep breath as I realized I made the cut…lol. I might not be able to stand in the John Holms category but hey I got enough to count, which according to the article is anything over 2 inches. There needs to be enough to provide the correct stimulation to female partner to get them off. Ok we got that part and now it’s off to the crude conversations in the corner of the locker room. 

“Hey did you hear Cindy likes a guy that is packing some serious meat?” Well in my personal experience (not putting numbers here) I have met only one size queen in my life, or at least that would openly admit it. So guys between 2-9 inches don’t need to worry. After 9 you might need to find a deep troughed woman because most other women might think you’re trying to give them an appendectomy from a vaginal entrance. 

Ok enough about size, time to get to the meat of what I want to share (sorry that was too hard to resist there) I have 4 boy and 2 girls; I want them each to know that life comes with choices and decisions. Well my one daughter already knows that poor choices have deep repercussions as she is now a mother and the ripe old age of 18 (yes I am a grandfather, but still sexy as hell) In my book she got lucky, there are things out there that make getting preggers a walk in the park. The previously mentioned measuring device is for a condom company, and I truly believe that unless you are in a long term relationship they should always be used. 

I will share a rather embarrassing story about myself in hopes people get the point across. I urge parents to talk to their kids (at whatever age you think is appropriate) about safe sex. Embarrassing or not it is worth it for so many different reasons.

I was a senior in high school and dumb as a box of rocks. My parents talked about one kind of birth control, abstinence till marriage. Umm yeah right that worked well for someone like me, my first experience was when I was 16 for my birthday. No one talked to me about safe sex, even our so called sexual education was little more than some very poor 3 day talk in health class. So of course I am going to see what all the big deal was. I was hooked from the first time I felt myself slide into a wet cunt. 

Fast forward a few years as I am dating a girl with less that tight morals and damn she liked to bang. Then came the day it hurt to pee, ok hurt is not the right word. I think I had drunk lighter fluid and lit my dick on fire. I tried to hide it for a couple of days thinking it would pass. Then my mother took me shopping. I was dying in the side passenger seat. I thought my testicles were going to explode and I hadn’t drank anything for fear of having to pee. I made my mom stop the car because I felt I was going to throw up. Then came the moment of truth, I told her what was going on and we went straight to the hospital. 

A few tests later I was told the results. The doctor sat there on his stool as he tried to hide the smirk. “Son you have gonorrhea, better known as the clap” At this point I had to listen to my mother gasp of shock as I then got the tirade of what a bad boy I had been from her. (Insert sound of stolen halo falling off and shattering as I her moved up on her prayer list)

All joking aside people this shit is serious, I was lucky I got something that was “so easy” to treat. Imagine hearing you child has something worse. This is what I am getting at. It’s not just educating them but making yourself educated too. I am now 43 years old and until the other day I had no idea how to tell the different sizes of condoms; other than magnums made guys feel better about them self. There is no worse feeling that thinking you got the right size and either they are too tight and break or they are too loose and they slide off. Get smart, get the chart and even better ask the questions you don’t know. 

I have been told the people that work at the adult shops actually have the kind of information you would want to know if you just ask. Is your safety and peace of mind not worth a possible few moments of embarrassment as you become all the wiser in the end?

So for the sake of the post here I will show a demonstration of how the chart works. (Ok really I am a bit of an exhibitionist and like showing off) So here is how the chart works.

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Measure from bottom of where condom will end to the tip and then the girth.

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Now for part 2, get a banana, cucumber or whatever works and learn how to put the condom on correctly. The last thing a woman wants to hear is “Wait a minute, I think this is how it goes.”


About Lord Raven

Lord Raven is a master at blending both the erotic and the macabre. He is a life Style Dominant who came into things in this way of living in the “traditional” manner and has been involved in BDSM for more than 20 years. He is a highly social creature by nature and his hobbies include paddle making, knife play, general deviance, gratuitous flirtation, and of course rough sex.

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