A place of Dilemma 9


I am at a place of a dilemma, a quandary if you will. It is not the sort of thing I like to openly admit but yet here I am. As I have grown older I do not find woman as addictive as I once did. 

It is not that I don’t like sex or anything like that but it is that the images I see of young women scantily dressed or even nude just don’t do it for me like they used to. Years ago I heard a term porn creep, which is where basically a person sees so much porn that they become desensitized and lose the desire for what would be a normal fascination. It takes more and more to get said person turned on, often darker and more bizarre. Now this being said I don’t think it is that for me. I see women and can admire their beauty but I actually find them more attractive when they are intelligent or at least smart enough to hold a conversation about several subjects.

I am blessed that my wife is one of those intelligent women that can talk to about so many different topics. I do find her to be extremely attractive for both her body (which is amazing by the way) and her mind. I would just as well spend the day talking as much as I would love to have it trying to fuck each other’s brains out.

 Ecstasy_by_NoBarriers

So I am wondering if there is something broken with me? Now get me on a dark path and I become hyper-sexual. Vampires, blood and things of that sort really get me turned on, but young breast that perk up; I can easily walk away from. Is it that I have matured to the point where I need to be fulfilled on several levels before I am satisfied? I am at a loss.

I guess I really began noticing this change in myself a few months ago. There are several attractive young women where I live and unlike most the men I really don’t give them a second glance. I say hi to be polite and that is as far as it goes. Would I fuck them if I had the opportunity? You bet your ass I would. I just wouldn’t make some special effort to get into their pants. 

There is one other possibility. My wife is the total embodiment of my every fantasy as well as willing to do anything my twisted mind comes up with. While we have sex I whisper (or talk) about the most depraved things that can come from a person’s mouth. Rape fantasies and the sort are common as well as other things I won’t mention here. Could it be that she has finally given me all I ever dreamed of having and I just don’t have the desire to look anymore? Has her embracing the depths of my darkness tamed the beast that once drooled for fresh flesh to feast upon? 

Now don’t get me wrong, air and opportunity are the only separating factors for me sometimes. I want to watch a woman’s ass flex and squirm as the paddle strikes its mark. Or pin her down and let her pretend to fight me off. All this I can find at home, is this why I have found the need to hunt diminished?

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on this from either male or female perspective.


About Lord Raven

Lord Raven is a master at blending both the erotic and the macabre. He is a life Style Dominant who came into things in this way of living in the “traditional” manner and has been involved in BDSM for more than 20 years. He is a highly social creature by nature and his hobbies include paddle making, knife play, general deviance, gratuitous flirtation, and of course rough sex.


9 thoughts on “A place of Dilemma

  • RJS

    Ha Ha welcome to the darker side of getting older. Find god in your heart and Put your self on a porn ban.
    I have found that my brain, as i am maturing, is filled with less sex and more “other crap”. I find that while i used to think about sex on the way to work i think now about “if that fucker that keeps taking my money and my rights away from me i am going to have to move to another country.” and really i do not travel well and i have NO patience for foreigners even when they are native and i am visiting.
    “where can i find more bullets.” “where can i get a CNC machine so that i can make my own weapons.” “what is the penalty for intentionally dropping a caught flyball?” “hey holy crap that chick in that car next to me has her skirt hiked up and the AC blowing on her crotch.” and then the mental train is just derailed at that point.

    • Lord Raven Post author

      Thanks I have been of the darker side for quite some time but its the recent shift in my mind that has jolted me into thinking more and more about whee my head is.
      That totally sounds like my thought process though.

      Oh and as for god, I am very much in touch with mine, I just happen to be pantheistic.

  • Malflic

    What the hell is wrong with you? It you’re not a walking erection you’re just not a real man.

    Ok all kidding aside I think its perfectly normal to look for different things as time progresses. the youthful thrill of “OH Titties fades”. I look at it like a baseball player going up to bat or a musician about to take the stage. You get to a point where it’s routine and you know what you want and what works for you. As I get older I’m more discerning in the quality of my clothing (labels matter less quality matters more), the music I listen to, the events I attend, and yes the porn viewed and the women I keep the company of. There are also countless published studies that show that men in their 40 look for more intimacy in their sexual relations compared to younger men who are purely sword smiths.

    Personally I’ve joked for years that as a rule I don’t play with people under 25 but as I get older the age limit goes upwards (closer to 30 these days) in part because of where I’m at in life. There are always exceptions but that’s based on the individual (the Pixie who is just now 26 for example was on the low end of my spectrum). A friend once said “when your daughter turns 16 that 22 year old strippers start to look like her friends and it takes all the fun out of it.”

    • Lord Raven Post author

      Humm that might be it, that last paragraph. Take my daughter getting to the point where she could be the stripper, then add to it my obsession with the darker side as I grow older and bingo.
      Also a little cuddle time can be nice as well, as long as it leads to something kinky later…lol

  • cammies on the floor

    Perhaps it’s a great mixture of both age and finding everything you need. Like I’ve already read several times here, the older I get the more disconcerting I get. I know what makes me tick, and who I desire (and don’t want to even touch), with a lot more clarity than I did bumbling around in my youth. I also have a lot less patience with other partners.
    And I have found a partner who is willing to get out of his own comfort zones with me, and we both are exploring. I can share every fantasy and not worry – there is so much freedom and trust involved in that act that it is priceless to me, something that I am unlikely to find in many other partners.

    • Lord Raven Post author

      Good point, it is nice to have someone who will explore whatever twisted idea in the safety of a loving relationship.
      Like you I have way less patience with s partner that I used to, because as the years have gone by I have become more and more comfortable with who I am and what I want.

  • littleone (@mustbeg)

    Very interesting. Kinky husband and I are a bit older than you and only recently discovered our kinkiness. If you had told me twenty years ago I was a perv, I would have slapped you and backed away trembling! So we are making up for much lost time and enjoying ourselves immensely. Maybe… just maybe you need a break for a brief time? Say, a week or two abstaining from anything resembling kink. Maybe your mind will then redirect, so to say, toward the dark side once again with renewed vigor.

    • Lord Raven Post author

      Thank you for your comment littleone. I have been a perv most my life and adore the title as it had often been used to try and put me down but ends up making me smile bigger.
      I am finding its not the abstinence of kink I need but rather to be in some form of conflict, that is where I thrive.
      I do appreciate you input very much.

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