Yes the title is a play on the classic novel “A Tale of Two Cities” but I decided what better way to illustrate the difference between me and the Blonde than just take random pictures of each of our night stand drawers.
So let’s begin with the top drawer of my night stand. Looks fairly safe; massage oil and lotions plus a variety of massage related toys, a few candles, some lube, a lighter. Oh what a nice gentle and attentive lover I must be. However if you look a little closer, EMT shears, some short ropes, and god awful blue hockey liner. I’m not sure why it’s there but I’ve never gotten around to moving it. Seeing me prance around in that thing would certainly hurt, well your eyes if nothing else.
Next up my bottom drawer so on top you can see an assortment of rope, a bag of spare batteries, assorted toys most of which have been retired since they’re Jelly, some clothes pins. What you can’t see is the next two levels of rope, the clamps and clovers, and underneath all that is a collection of light paddles, a few floggers, a small whip and two more bags of newer toys (Dildos, Plugs, Vibes etc).
Now for the Blonde’s top drawers, towels, a few blind folds, a little rope, pasties, cards (I’m not sure who she’s playing cards with but I can assure you it’s not me). Under there somewhere are lotions and lube, Ben Wa balls, more pasties (I’ve never seen her in them but she has a nice collection. hmmm) and a few other assorted things I’ve probably forgotten we have.
This is the really telling one…She’s hiding books in her night stand! I have rope and toys she has books. I take a ton of grief around here for my book collection
So what does this say about us. Well fist off I have a huge stack of books beside the night stand not counting the filled book cases through out the place so I may have a book problem but I just don’t hide it. Secondly she refers to the toys as mine. Ironically I bought them all for her, after all I’m not exactly the big thick pink vibrator type and while I like certain types of bunnies the need to own a Rabbit anything wasn’t something I thought would get me off in anyway. Ok the ropes, clamps, and impact toys are mine but I still like to use them on her.
For years anything questionable or sexual was relegated to my side of the bed, my dressers, my bags in the closet (I how too much rope). At first i thought it was she was embarrassed by them but eventually came to the realization that if we were both to die in a plane crash they would go through her stuff and say “Awe she really was a sweet lady” and when they got to mine it would be “He was such a fucking perv” which is exactly how each of us would prefer to be remembered.