I was going to write something funny after all the topic of Spanking certainly strikes a nerve in me. But of course that would have been too easy. Instead I decided to answer Jade’s food for thought questions in a very straight forward manner. Originally my responses led to another post that I’ve decided let sit for a while called “The Elephant in the Room” that deals more with the complicated dynamics that the topic of spanking has caused in my relationship recently.
Do you love it? Do you hate it? Never tried it?
Spanking is where kink started for me before I knew it was kinky. I just wanted to try spanking a girlfriend, it just seemed like the thing to do. Harmless slap and tickle gave way to mock spanking play with all the verbal trappings and visual cues. Eventually this led to giving “real” spankings that were far less play and a lot more intense. So yes I love it. If you asked the Blonde she’d tell you she absolutely hates it.
Despite those protests the part she’ll never admit which I’m not certain to this day whether it’s pure play on her part or actual denial of what gets her off is that several good solid hard swats and I’m not talking a crisp smack or two but a solid successive line of them along with penetration or clit stimulation of any kind sends her sopping wet and over the edge into orgasm harder than anything else even when she’s trying to hold back.
What do you like/hate/love about it?
In part it is the surrender. For years I’d playfully swat the blonde and when asked I’d simply say I was marking my territory. Which to a point was true but there was also a lot of unspoken things about those actions as well. As for the surrender I could say it’s not part of the pure spanking play appeal to me but that would be lying. The fact that someone is willing to let me spank them is a big part of it. Add to I’ve always been to use a Seinfeldism an “ass man” which I’m sure contributed to the interest.
Are you the spanker or the spankee or do you switch?
Do you have a favorite way to be spanked – or a least favorite?
Turning the question around do I have a favorite way to spank others. Yes and it depends on who it is. As a rule I don’t do a casual OTK. I know weird for a spanking top right? I may goof around that way with someone at a party “oh you naughty girl come here” a swat or ten then on her way is one thing but if I’m actually spanking you odds are it wouldn’t be OTK unless we are in a different place relationship wise. By that I mean know each other well in a variety of ways, that there is in fact some form of relationship even if it is play only. Beyond that I like the spankee bent over usually a table or desk but anything can work.
Favorite implement/least favorite? Are implements even allowed in your style of spanking?
While I own a variety of implements of every shape and size the school style wood paddle is the one I like to use the most. As for are they allowed it depends on who I’m playing with and where. I’m sure the TSA could give list of who likes what based on my checked luggage over the past umpteen years.
Is it a sexy/sensual/sexual activity for you? A playful one? Or is it punishment? (Or all of the above?)
Usually its playful and or sensual depending on who I’m playing with. That doesn’t mean they don’t get a bright red ass or marked because, well, sometimes (ok most of the time) they do. I have done punishment spankings but really don’t care for them beyond a role play scenario. As for why I don’t like them I think they lack the same energy. It’s one thing to play with a naughty girl and it’s case of oh you’re gonna get it good. There’s a tension, a dynamic , maybe even a willingness or excitement. When it’s an actual punishment I don’t like the top I become. It lacks that playfulness I become cold and efficient. I can be scary as hell when playing if that’s the part but I’m not really cold. I guess its a detachment and knowing the other person really isn’t getting off on it in anyway that makes actual punishment not work for me.
Do you have a favorite scene or fantasy you’d like to share? Or perhaps some photos?
Actually I’d like to top in a spanking video. It doesn’t have to be a major site or company it could even just be a well shot scene with friends that we put up on one site or another.
As a byline I’m working on figuring out a streaming video broadcast of a scene with Alice in the future. Little miss iron bottom’s color fades quickly so we thought it would be fun to do a “Keeping Her Red” video. This one would be high on the action and low on the other accompaniments but one way or other I’m going to make it hard for her to sit for a while. Her sit spot is nearly impossible to thoroughly torch but I’m up for the challenge.
A few other random things…
I’ve considered going to spanking cons but have never done it and can’t tell you why other than I didn’t really make the time. It’s not money, it’s not the travel, it’s not that I’m shy. I just simply haven’t. I miss having regular local spanking only play partners. When I play regularly I’m a happier person, frankly I may be a better person and I put less pressure on the Blonde to play which makes her happier. It was one of the hardest changes for me when I moved here and remains something I’ve never replaced. It was close a few times but there always seemed to be more strings attached or the wrong strings attached. I started doing rope as a substitute for spanking play, I enjoy it but there is an entirely different dynamic. It is a lousy substitute it’s like having cheese cake when you’re hungry for ice cream. Yes they are both an indulgent dessert but having one does not negate the need for the other.
Dealing with change in my play…
In the past year or so I’ve seen something happen in my play I never expected. If you ask me I don’t do age play. I’m not a “daddy” type (The 1st notable exception). Nothing wrong with it, its just not my kink. At age 43 my hair is now far more salt (OK white I know just say it) than pepper. This has created an occasional dynamic I never expected, girls who like daddy types. I’ve had offers from women in their mid 20’s that I would never have expected to scene with becuase I fit a type for them