A Humorous look at my Mothers comments About My Book 1

Erotic Novel and Lovel Story It Had Been Years Book CoverSince I know I have some newer readers here’s a little back ground.  My mother has referred to me as a pornographer for years now without ever seeing the site or reading a word I said.   And well who can blame her and of course I never r took offense to it. Actually it seems funny to me.  Now my parent’s and in particular my mother deserve a lot of credit (or blame) for me being creative.  It was always encouraged, as a younger man it was something they financially supported, and they came to whatever god awful venues I played music in whenever I asked.   Then I quit being a musician and started writing smut without musical accompaniment.  Which brings us up to now…

When I published my first novel last year Mom wanted to read it.  I tried to warn her in a conversation that she wouldn’t like it cautioning her about the content, language, and a few other things.  I’m out to her in a “you’re an eccentric” sort of way.   It’s not the kind of book you’d expect someone’s mother to read and go “Oh that was lovely”.   When I sent her a copy there was a full page written disclaimer that warned her again and encouraged her to just put it on a shelf.  In case I’ve never mentioned it my mother is as stubborn as I am.  So she read it.

“You know there are approximately 37 spelling errors and sever tense and context errors in the book?”  No I didn’t know that or I would have fixed them.  She offered to send me her copy with the red ink and post it notes on each page.   “you should have caught them.”

I laughed and told her to call my sister who is an author and taught English at the university level prior to having kids to ask her why she missed them.  In fairness my sister did a lot of editing for me.  “I already did, she said she read it for content not grammar and spelling.”

So I explained how many times I had gone through the work trying to catch everything but let’s face it while I am highly creative all those details are not my strong suit.  Then she admitted when she use to work in PR and advertising how people could never catch their own mistakes.  Though it took 10 minutes to get that concession.

“If it was anyone else’s book I’d have stopped reading it.  I didn’t like the content”  Hmmm I thought to myself I tried to tell you that.   “Why are there so many gay people in the book?”  I stopped and thought about it before answering “Mom there are actually not that many and very few gay references outside the Leatherman scene”.  On most political items we tend to agree meaning that I have her taste in thinking if a politician’s lips are moving they’re lying.  However she and I massively disagree on gay rights.  Some families are brought together by religion, a polarizing family figure, business ventures, or sense of obligation.  My family connects through athletics, political and arts discussions, and music.  It was the bisexual females she was objecting to.  I guess I’m grateful she didn’t know or care to ask what a Leatherman was.

“Well I can tell everyone you wrote a book.   I just can’t tell them what it is or the name of it”   I laughed this is the same woman who early in my club days told me “don’t worry Bruce Springsteen and Rod Stewart can’t sing either and just look at them” and then gave me their latest albums to prove her point.

“ Maybe next time you can write a spy novel or a detective story.  You know that’s the kind of books I like to read”.  Reading between the lines it’s also the type of book she could talk about at work, church, and quilting.   I get it she wants to brag about my art but she lives in a different world than I do.  My son the Author sounds so much better than my son the pervert.

Of course I told her not to worry, gave her the setting for my next book, that it has only two profane words in it, and informed her that there isn’t even any married straight sex in it let alone a bunch of “weird sick stuff”.

“You’re going to use a different name right?” and after that we went on to more important topics like her new gutters and all the work that needs to be done to build up her vegetable gardens before spring starts.

BTW my sister is the talented one she just happens to be a perfectionist and will word smith her work for years where I’ll put out half baked stuff all the time.  But you already knew that didn’t you.

About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.

One thought on “A Humorous look at my Mothers comments About My Book

  • Lord Raven

    I had to laugh, it would be almost as bad as if I sent my mother a copy of anything I am working on.Thanks for sharing, this was a much needed laugh

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