The title pretty much says it all, or at the very least it was how the conversation ended. My world is a little weird and I’m the first to admit I’m a little more askew than the square peg trying to fit into a round hole analogy. First off make no mistake I love the Chesty Blonde and we have a great relationship, well established limits, and in fairness a certain amount of a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. Before everyone screams “wait that’s cheating!” it simply means there are details about relationships we just don’t discuss. Apparently she’s not interested in all the details. I’m a detail guy and she feels no need to know “and then I tied a half hitch followed by”… a who gives a flying fuck. She doesn’t even want that level of detail when I talk about what I did or am planning on doing to her. Things usually go like this one of us says “I’m going to XX with Y” and the other says cool.
So somewhere along the way I learned to stop asking certain things. Asking her to take pictures is one of those things that is almost but not quite a hard limit for her. But being who I am sometimes that is a problem for me. She get’s jealous of me cavorting with brown eyed brunettes and I get pissed because she hates when I want to take pics. Sometimes though I ask and at times even push that issue. So there I am after shelving my novel for 4 years finally getting around to releasing it. One of the things that came out of that was looking at how to promote the book. Victoria was a big part of me deciding to do so and she by profession deals with promoting things. We came up with the idea that if by 12/31/12 at least 1,000 copies by get sold or downloaded that I should do a new shoot with the Blonde. In truth we figured the only way we’d get there is by running an online contest to promote the 4 days it will be available from free for kindle to anyone and everyone and combining that with some other paid promotional type things including online advertising. As we lined that out I began to contemplate the shoot.
I could care less about making any money from the work but they idea of having it get to 1,000 copies as as a goal to make the Blonde Dress up in some sexy new get up that I pick out, doll her all up, tie her tight and then get pictures of it, well that part I did care about. A few days later I pitched the idea to her. In my typical stupid fashion I thought I had covered all the bases. “No face shots, no kitty shots, nothing of the sort just lingerie, some decent rope work, and maybe a good off camera fuck when all was said and done.” To me this was a no brainer, it was a reason to play and add an element to it that I liked that we rarely do. And that my friends is where it all went off track
“Are you fucking crazy” was the first response. As harsh as this seems I actually here this one a lot and it didn’t faze me. I explained I wasn’t joking and thought it might have a good appeal. I always tell her she’s far more popular than I’d ever be both on looks and on personality. She’s fun, friendly, and genuinely likes people. “No one wants to see that” it is her standard defense mechanism I hear it a lot too. She’s beautiful but doesn’t ever want to flaunt it. It is in its own way an innocent charm most of the time but every so often it makes me bat shit crazy because even if no one else in the world had no interest I do otherwise I wouldn’t ask. A fact that despite trying to explain it for a millennium she just doesn’t get. I insist “yes people would want to SEE THAT” a few more back and forths a bit of pitching and selling on my side and more rebuffs that were trying to make it absolutely certain no fucking meant no fucking way. Then she started suggesting other people…this was a new tact “ Why don’t you tied up The Green Eyed She Devil and Take Pic of that? Upon learning Victoria was part of the planning she suggested I use her for a shoot. The irony is she damn well knows the Victoria has made a standing offer if I ever want to go to Shibaricon or any other event with or without the Blonde that she’d go too. So that one was a gimmie if I wanted to go there.
So in the next 10 minutes the Blonde would literally recommend every woman she could think of that I’ve ever played with and several that I haven’t as potential replacements for her in my proposed adventure. Usually I have a sense of humor but something about this was not only rubbing me the wrong way but flat out beginning to piss me off. That’s when she said it “I think you need a new local girlfriend, one who likes to take pictures”
The entire issue was the idea of the camera, we determined all of the other things were not only inbounds but might actually be fun. After that she suggested again “I think you really do need a new local girlfriend” I think the unspoken part of that is one who likes to have lurid pictures taken so I’ll leave her the fuck alone.