A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators 22

Purple hmp bondage rops

Purple hmp bondage ropsI have said countless times I’m not qualified to teach. In many ways it’s a selfish statement and in others it’s a total fucking lie.  It’s selfish in that if I’m showing others what I know I’m in theory not learning myself, it is also a reflection that I don’t consider myself an expert by any means.  I’m still a knot challenged rope enthusiast, nothing different, nothing more.  The part about it being a lie is that if you asked me to teach you something after a proper disclaimer I’d teach just about anyone just about anything I know if they really wanted to learn.

Recently I found myself with an old friend and her new Dom who while very experienced just hasn’t ever been a rope guy.  After a bit of scheduling and rescheduling I was finally able to provide a less than impromptu lesson in basic rope bondage.  Of course being a total geek I did everything I could think of to prepare except write out a lesson plan.  The truth is there is little else in the world I’d rather talk about than rope bondage.

I planned and taught nothing spectacular, single column ties, double column tie, a few variations on decorative chest harnesses both traditional and TKB’s inspired.  It was mixed with an assortment of knots, some commentary on safety, and a dissertation of where I learned what.  He was a good student, she was a more than willing stunt bunny which is a huge help.   At one point I think she came just by looking at Monk’s Statutory Grape rope next to Aja Rope’s Chocolate Brown that were still in my bag.  BTW they make a stunning combination when used together against a properly contrasting skin tone.

Teaching people how to do things isn’t new to me but teaching people kinky things was.  In my weeks of preparation there were many topics I had thought through again and again, consulting books, recalling conversations, and hands on experiences.  I thought through what rope types and diameters I preferred for certain ties.  What was useful, what worked and didn’t work for me.  I presented these thoughts as my opinion not a case of right and wrong. Perhaps most importantly taking into consideration the bottom (who is my friend) desire to be tied tight & pretty.  Damn bottoms and their wants and their needs (kidding of course).

There were things that I hadn’t thought through properly like how to teach tying a specific knot.  I knew how to do it. Could tie it a million times exactly the same way but lacked the ability to talk about each part of the process in meaningful detail.  So that was a lesson learned.

As the day wore on I talked and demonstrated less and watched more. I added little else to the conversation and practice other than the occasional thought on what to do next if asked and a minor bit of OCD knot clean up solely for aesthetics sake from time to time. As I watched him work I could name the rigger, book, or video I had learned each of the ties from including the person who helped me have the A HA moment on that piece. Like an overly cautious student referencing sources in a research paper I’d point them both to my reference with each piece.

After several hours and a large amount of diet mountain dew there was a natural pause in the action. I took the moment and asked to stop teaching asking to rig her once by myself. As soon as consent was given I heard “there’s the look I’ve been waiting all day to see”.

Apparently I was no longer a mild mannered teacher and had slipped into top mode and begun eyeing her with devious intent before my first coil was unwrapped and hit the floor. The Chest Harness went on exquisitely. I thought to myself “why did I make her wear a shirt again, clamps would have been a fun addition”. The single and double column ties fell into place.  Despite what I had done and was about to do to her the only questioning look I got was when I told her to kneel when her hands were already bound behind her. I of course helped her ensuring she met the floor softly and not with an awkward thud.

After finishing my “work” and as the rope was being put away I thought to myself about all the people over the years who had taken the time to teach me.  Whether it was a commercial endeavor like a book, a video created because of a love for the topic, someone from an event or class.  I can honestly say I’ve never seen anyone tie another person up and not gotten an idea of how to do something from it.  This even held true as I was showing others and found a way to add a minor restraint and mostly decorative wrist ties to a piece with a bit of extra rope.  Perhaps in some karmic sense I had finally reached a point where I was paying back some of what I owed, making a very small reparation for all the joy it’s brought me.  The best part was I had  the most fun watching their confidence grow, seeing them enjoying this new adventure with each other. The ultimate reward truly was that I got to be part of their experience.

Next time I’m looking forward to learning another thing or two from them and so the cycle continues.


Malflic

About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.


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