OK so I have read all sorts of articles and have had multiple discussions with various peeps in regards to safewords. To me yes one is always needed no matter who you are playing with. Some will say otherwise depending on various reasons and honestly that is their choice.
To me in any form of play a safeword is needed. Does not matter the relationship type or sub vs slave mantras I have seen totted about. No matter the dynamics the sub/bottom is truly the one in control and without said safeword there is no way of saying “hey you have reached my limit”. That is without it sounding like a part of the role play or power exchange. To many hearing “no no no….please stop” for example is just all part of the fun. The addition of tears and screams just add to the thrill.
Well that is till the bottom freaks out and the scene goes totally south in 2 seconds flat. You don’t hear so much about when a scene goes bad. Few ever want to admit they fucked up and someone has been hurt either physically or emotionally. Truth is hiding it does not make it go away and one only learns from a mistake when they truly look at all factors involved.
Big thing is all parties involved agree upon the safeword to be used. Now don’t be making it some complicated phrase or word that the bottom will forget only moments later much less remember it when on the verge of panicking. Because of that reasoning I personally only use one safeword and it is up to the Top I am playing with to remember it. Any Top worth playing with in my mind will honor such requests especially when play will involve pushing or testing limits.
That being said I also have a word that lets all involved know I want more. This all came about ironically as a joke at first and has since stuck. Of the 2 words I can honestly say I have yet to use the safeword with my current partner however have used OREO on more than one occasion. The safeword has not been trashed, in fact whenever the intensity of play has been increased He makes sure I remember what it is and checks frequently with me throughout play that I am OK.