Power Exchange and Control 2

Power exchange yep I went there….

To me there is a difference between role play and a true power exchange. I know that to some role play is a form of a power exchange yet really when you look at them both there is distinct differences. One being at its core any power exchange starts with building trust.

Without trust and communication there will be an epic fail when it comes to any true power exchange. Now when I say communication I assume all know I mean an open and honest communication between those involved.  If you can’t be honest with yourself and explore what your true needs are then again….epic fail. How can you be honest with your partner when you can’t be honest with yourself?

The level of a power exchange can range from a one time scene (insert preferred kink) through to a total power exchange including a collaring and M/s contract. Now here is why I always say the submissive is the one in control. The sub/bottom GIVES the Dom/Top control! It is not something taken as the high and mighty wanna-be Dom/Tops believe. To me it is a gift whether for a 10 minute spanko scene or contemplating a serious M/s relationship. It is also something I have control of taking back at any given moment if the scene or relationship goes south.

So much goes on before a scene that many newbies are unaware of. Boundaries, limits, and safewords all need to be discussed before hand. Without such exchange the Dom/Top and sub/bottom are open to confusion and potential harm even in a simple meet and greet. A power exchange does not always involve sex though that is the common assumption of where it begins and ends. In a total power exchange it is giving the Dom/Top control over every aspect of the sub/bottom’s life and well being. Thus often the inclusion in contracts of….as long as it does not interfere with work or parenting.

Even in a contracted M/s relationship the sub/bottom is still in control. They always have the choice to obey or disobey any direction or order from the Dom/Top. The difference being they know the consequence may include the dissolving of such contract and thus ending the relationship.

As one grows as an individual and within a relationship things may change. With greater trust may come a willingness to test previous limits and who knows just how far things may go.

~Alice King~2012~

About Alice King

Alice has been often called an enigma. With life ever changing and evolving so have her creative outlets. She lives in the Atlanta area and is considered a "damn Yankee" having been born and raised in the north east. She is an RN by trade, a Mother of 2 and the wife of Lord Raven. This tattooed Princess is the site's very own Alpha Sub often wields brazen dares toward her Tops yet leans toward switch on occasion.

2 thoughts on “Power Exchange and Control

  • rollo

    “Even in a contracted M/s relationship the sub/bottom is still in control.” So true or as another friend it once said “It’s all about topping from the bottom”.

    • Alice King Post author

      Ironic you mention “topping from the bottom” hon. As recently it was pointed out to me that I am alpha-sub. Was never how I looked at myself till I heard that….then it was like d’uh.

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