This is a long one so grab some coffee or beverage of choice. Modifying a popular saying the names have been omitted to protect the innocent. I added links to some obvious folks who were associated with the event that are known to be out there. All others were omitted out of respect for your privacy. If you want to link my ambiguous mention to a profile, blog, or whatever just dm me on twitter or fetlife.
So it’s Sunday morning and before the coffee pot even gets started I needed to write this. I wanted to make sure the passing moments and hours wouldn’t taint my thoughts, that time wouldn’t erase my feelings few hours after I disappeared into the night.
I had the unique expectation that I simply wanted to be there, that I just wanted to participate, learn something and meet a few new people. The meet and greet Friday night alone met those needs. I met a great array of very cool people who were warm, welcoming, and very interesting. If you’ve read my adventures with any regularity you know that my kink despite being very out there in a lot of ways it is also confined to a select very personal group of people I play with. If you look at it closely they are with rare exception people whom I’ve known for years. Over all I’ve not been successful at making it to munches and that when I have they didn’t always fit. I’ve not actively pursued new partners and play friends.
So I had a nice dinner met some cool people, listened a lot, and said very little. This would set the tone for me for the entire time. It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk there was ample opportunity instead it is that I chose not to. Maybe it was selfish in a way much like when I was a practicing musician and walked into a club with a great band or even an amazing individual musician was performing I would let the insanity around me just occur and take in the things that were truly special. Like so much lately it seems to be the theme for my life so often is about my own exploration.
My Saturday started off by leaving the house too early and caffeinating not far from the venue. After the opening and setting the agenda I went to a fire play break out. Like most males I’ve played with fire before but not in any way sensual unless you count the flame associated with wax play. Yes I know that doesn’t count. If you’d have told me one of my main take aways would be that I want to try fire I’d have told you “that’s not my kink”. Now I’m very curious and have a few idea’s for a starting point both safety and technique wise but am lucky enough to know who to reach out to locally with questions.
One of the great things about a Grue is what Graydancer called the law of two feet which is why I even chose to check out the fire play because I knew I could move on to another conversation if I wasn’t contributing or benefiting. Taking it out of my kink life and putting it into the context of my day job I can’t tell you how many conferences I’ve been to where I was getting nothing out of the break outs and went and snuck into another session or track to the annoyed glances of some door monitor. The hard part here was unlike those conferences when I couldn’t catch a great talk here the moment was gone when it was gone.
Time to move on to the rope stuff after all while it’s certainly not all about rope it was why I went personally. The next set of classes would not only teach me new things but also would cause me to look at my view of rope and challenge what I want to get out of it when I tie. They were powerful revelations which began with the predicament bondage session. Sure I got to watch two insanely hot women get tied to each other which is never a bad thing. One of them was a blogger who I read regularly and really enjoy. While predicament bondage is something that I’ve played with it was wonderful to watch someone who was spectacular at it work. Rope for pain not just control would be the ah ha moment for me. Other lessons learned include an entirely new set of ideas for that type of play and the need to add a lot more short ropes to my toy bags making rope pain a more frequent part of my play and not solely reserves for clamps and impact stuff.
Alrighty folks moving right along next up was a rope for sex that could be moved into multiple position focused on floor work. Since bondage starts for most people even the slightly naughty Nilla types with tie me to the bedpost type theme. Added to my repertoire was a wrist or forearm bound to the knee variation and a series of useful things for putting a person’s ass in the air that can lead to so many wickedly delicious things as you control them. After all what fun is just knowing how to tie someone up if sooner or later you aren’t going to fuck some of them.
Next for me was a Graydancer led a rope ritual and symbolism class. I’m sure it will become an essay of his sometime shortly. There was a lot of good conversation and the entire time I thought about what I had gifted to others over the years and what it meant at the time. I never put it into the context of a lifestyle thing but more as a sign of friendship, love or shared experience. Ahhh memories as even now I inventory things that were given to me. It was interesting to hear all of the perspectives . Then came Kinky Arts and crafts…leather work really hmmm I know a few ladies who might let me test my creations if go that route. Just like I tell the Chesty Blonde you can never have too much rope can a man really own too many floggers? I think not.
I watched a couple learning to do suspension since the Blonde is well chesty the comment on a better way to tie to accommodate a large chest came in handy. I expect to hear sometime later today “this blonde doesn’t fly” to which I’ll add yet.
A beautiful bondage class reaffirmed what I knew which is my ties have been about art as much as anything. I suppose it’s my tortured soul that really makes everything I do about art in one way or another. The gent teaching it had a very nice aesthetic and I’m looking forward to seeing more of his work and I would talk to Victoria later about new color combination idea’s. Yeah I’m a yuppie and a preppie when it comes to colors. It is something I’ve decided not to fight.
The day closed out with a talk about when things go wrong conversation and then the closing circle. I made it through the entire day portion of the Grue without actually tying a rope but drinking it all in. I had read about the closing circle, I live in a world where I’m always in a high or low from one exploit or another on the edge of an almost constant state of drop. Hell I went through a drop this week when I left NYC to head back to Missouri. I have a drop when a wild week with friends always inevitably comes to an end, and there are times I think I’m in a permanent state of drop since going to Hedo years ago.
I’m not the touchy feely type. Sure I am in touch with my sarcastic and wicked sides but genuine emotion outside of closed doors is rare. Still I couldn’t help but be moved by listening to the others share their experiences. I listened to a beautiful and articulate woman thank us for letting her present. Ironically if she would not have said she wasn’t a confident public speaker I’d have never known and until that point had assumed quite the opposite since she was great. Then eventually came my turn and fact I actually struggled to share my experiences with the group with my standard entertaining and witty demeanor stunned me. I speak to strangers for a living, I present at conferences large and small all the time but those are what I do and are not what I’m into and there in retrospect was the difference. I finally broken a personal barrier and showed up at a public event I had been wanting to go to for three years. What I was saying was real and genuine. Another very cool moment for a man who spends so much time as a mouth piece peddling others idea’s.
On the dinner break I’d run home to find the Blonde lounging around in the tub with a razor and shaving cream near by. Damn tease was trying to get me to stay home and not head back out for the evening portion! A little dinner and then a quick change of clothes and back to the play party I went, ironically with no intention of playing there. I just wanted to hang out a bit more, tell people that it was nice to meet them etc. I’d talk to Victoria the entire drive down and back. I wish the Blonde had come with me, I should have asked again it was a great environment everyone was really cool and she would have had fun once she relaxed. I wish Victoria was there because there is no doubt she’s have let me try a suspension tie on her as long as there was red rope involved. Well that and she asked if I had tried one and was disappointed when I said no.
After a few hours of great conversation with scene’s all around, I’d say good bye and thanks to a few new friends, my apologies to anyone I didn’t get to say good bye to. Odds are you were in a scene or conversation and well there was a naked blonde woman in my bed with a glass of wine waiting for me and no sense in no trying out some of my new knowledge.
My final thoughts are I need to get out more often and the past few days made it a little easier for me to consider doing just that, maybe if nothing else I’ll start showing up at the rope SIG. Another Grue is a must if for no other reason than I met and learned from so many really amazing people that I want the chance to experience it again, considering the upcoming dates already. I need to spend less time of FB and actually spend time and add a few friends on Fetlife, it will just be a better for for me. (yes I still love my FB friends). Two regrets I wish I’d have introduced myself to “J” (A Poly Life & Pieces of Jade) and told her how much I enjoy her writing, and also hung around to see the double suspension. Well that I wish I had not made other plans for my Sunday morning missing the pancake breakfast.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to slip into my kilt, lace up my old boots which is a revelation for another time, smack the Blonde on the ass while she tries to ignore me (hey I’ll bring her coffee), mail a little something I picked up to a few friends and then add Fuck You Ro to my list of fetishes on Fet.