Well if you’ve been kinky for any length of time sooner or later a play scene despite your best efforts goes somewhere unintended. Sometimes it’s just the mindset of the folks playing, what is so often hot and erotic just seems like too much or every once in a while I’ll admit uninspired. Sometimes even well inspected gear breaks, ropes just aren’t perfect, either for the top of the bottom, batteries go dead, impact toys crack. It happens, so identify the issue, deal with it, communicate, and move one. It sounds so easy. I’m pretty good about just letting things roll off and moving on. There aren’t too many things I’m not sure how to discuss or bring up. This however was one of them. I wasn’t sure what had happened or why. The ironic part is when I took her somewhere she didn’t want to be anywhere near it wasn’t a scene and we weren’t playing.
So it’s a Saturday afternoon and of all things we were doing some last minute decorating before company came by for the holidays. It was really just a quiet afternoon in a nondescript suburb not exactly the stuff that makes for a hot scene, rough sex, or even bad over produced porn. Standard fare in my life is when the Chesty Blonde walks by I tend to smack her ass. Depending on the variables it could be anything from a playful pat to a few crisp swats with my hand. It’s part of the dynamic of our relationship, the verbal banter between us as it happens, the taunting and teasing with her sticking her cute ass out daring me smack it. When in the kitchen she knows not to hand me a wooden spoon unless she plans on taking a few licks from it. We’ve been together for going on 20 years so it’s rare that there is any truly new ground we cover. I know her limits very well and in particular there are things or more specifically types of toys that we avoid because they take her to a place that is not something enjoyable just by the mere sight of them. Her bent over and my hand on her ass isn’t one of those things.
As we moved back and forth picking things out of the storage bins she was doing most of the bending over…yeah I know imagine that. And well I was doing most of the walking, reaching, and hanging. Again no great stretch. I know my limits as well and when it comes to decorating it is putting things where she thinks they belong. About 30 minutes in my route becomes one that out of necessity involves me having to squeeze behind her along the wall while dodging the boxes. I placed my hand on her lower back simply for balance. Really it was just my finger tips and no down ward pressure, nothing more followed by 3 of 4 playful smacks as I passed. The kind that make a little clapping sound but don’t start to sting or bite at all even on a bare ass let alone over a pair of jeans. As she looked back at me I expected a sharp comment or snide remark. What I got was a “please don’t hold me down and do that” and eyes that told me she was in a really bad place and that I had inadvertently hit a long hidden nerve.
It seemed odd to me after all not that many days before I had her willingly pinned across my lap putting a dark shade of red in to her sexy little ass. Pinning her down was not anything new. It was again in one way or another fairly old hat. Like so many things there are nights where it is about the struggle and physical strength. I haven’t been going to the gym incessantly for years just because I like to, there has always been the physical strength requirement in our dynamic. I like them curvy and kinky and she likes them strong. Other times the play is about the willing submission and going along with my dark and twisted whims in the name of a good time for all. This was neither but still we were somewhere that was not good. So a soft kiss and back about the business of decorating. She was not interested in talking about what had happened in the previous seconds.
In a lot of ways it upset me. I never want to see a look like that again, it wasn’t the words it was the tone of them but mostly it was her eyes. Not anger, annoyance, or even fear it was something different, something that I had never seen before. I tried to ask again later that night about the event, she wasn’t talking. It was frustrating that she couldn’t tell me. So for days frankly I stayed away from our usual dynamic and when she at one point asked what was going on I explained that I didn’t get what had happened days before. In the end it was her position and how I placed my hand lightly on her lower back that caused the reaction.
This is a strange thing we do in a lot of ways. I can do absolutely wicked things to a person’s body and have them love it but then do something for balance that I would not have thought twice about with a non kinky lover and suddenly it’s all sideways. Just another reminder to me that no matter how long we’ve been together and all the things we’ve done we both still have issues and demons from our pasts. Despite our best efforts if we don’t communicate them we’ll end up in a bad scene we never thought would go that way.