SCC vs RACK, Rough Sex and Control – a Kinkster Ponders


On a Side note off topic for those of you reading along with my book “It Had Been Years” on Malflic.com Chapters 30-40 are up for your reading pleasure with more coming soon (I really mean soon this time).

OK for those of you who are reading and not sure WTF I’m talking about

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SCC) vs. Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

In the past months on a few months I’ve been following posts on this very topic across several kink friendly sites. I don’t consider myself an edge player and some schools of thought associate RACK with edge play. Still I have hard limits, have been around long enough to know what I’m into and more importantly what I’m not while still trying to remain open minded to new things or an individual’s needs. After all it’s only kinky the first time and maybe the second if your doing it right.

The Concept behind SSC is safe play and with that comes safe words that when uttered by the subbie brings everything to an immediate halt whether the sensations are too intense, there is uncertainty or fear, or even if emotionally you’re fried and not in that little sub space you strive to achieve like a masochists nirvana while people like me are dancing around thinking up cruel new twists in a sadists version of nirvana.

Could be you’re thinking the person on the other end of the flogger who just picked up a single tail has no clue and game over. I’m not judging anything but your choice of play partner in that case since I have no intention of advocating play with an under educated or skill challenged partner. That would just be stupid. Do you know why I don’t try suspension bondage? Simple I don’t trust my knots in that situation. Well that and I’d much rather tie you to something like a bed post, radiator or chair. ( I can feel the collective group of my Shibari and Rigger friends shudder in disappointment)

In all fairness that ‘s not everything SCC stands for so before those of you who think I’m skimming the concept get your latex under garments all in a bunch relax this is an exploration of the topic not a dictionary and the Internet is a wonderful thing with lots of places to look up the full definition some of which are even credible.

R.A.C.K is meant for (in theory as I understand it) to take away the certainty of being able to stop a scene or situation in the confines of a D/s relationship. Makes sense since most of us who do the top thing hate subs topping from the bottom although personally I’ve never been offended by the “beat me harder” request. I choose to see it as a challenge and reply gladly batter up!

So in theory the top controls the interaction and can take the bottom as far as they feel like, think is warranted, or get off on doing. (Yes Power Exchange is about more than sex, I’ll cover that another day). The bottom surrenders to that desire trusting in their top to not go to far. Although I’ve never tired it imagination tells me that its awfully hard to run away from a scene if you’re chained to a bench or cross. The RACK theory then I’ll assume is only used once a person is sure the other player is not a psycho.

Now with those concepts out in the open and giving the disclaimer once again that I consider myself a life long SCC guy I have to wonder if there is not a deeper issue in going to a RACK concept. Could it be that the expectations are different. I don’t do 24/7 and wouldn’t want to. I like the word slut but don’t use the word slave (not even in my fiction writing) it holds no magic for me yet others love and yearn for the designation. I hate silly rules and while kink is a big part of my life for me it’s just play. Hey what ever gets you off is cool with me as long as both parties are of legal age and into it.

Hard core people will scoff at that. Its OK there are a lot of things that are not my kink so I’ don’t feel the need to have every person out there understand mine. In a lot of ways I’m not a traditional sadist but unlike a lot of people (and here I am pointing fingers to a certain extent) I will admit I’m a sadist.

I love the people who tell me “I’m not sadistic I’m a master, deity, Domme, Goddess, top or whatever. OK I Identify as a Top but guess what if you like to inflict pain even if the other person wants you to or is in some way getting off on it you’re a sadist and chances are they’re a masochist. Welcome to the club there is coffee and dough nuts on the table and we’ll have your laminated membership card for you shortly.

Thinking back over 20 years of kinky life and long before I knew what a safe word was how many times have I heard one uttered?

“Stop it Jerk!” no that doesn’t count

“Hey get off my hair!” more a request, one that I typically honor, and not exactly the use of a safe word.

“Oh you think you’re so cool tying me to the bed…Bed you can’t think of anything we haven’t tried” No safe word but we certainly tried a few things and some limits that night.

Truth is I’ve heard a few but not many over the years. They weren’t like like the scene in Eurotrip where he can’t remember or couldn’t say the safeword.

They were with people I knew and just weren’t having fun at the moment for what ever reason. If you hear a safe word too often from the same person perhaps an open minded discussion long after the heat of those moments is the best thing. The I dig this but hate that type of chat. Assuming that even most of us sadists don’t want to take someone somewhere dark they really don’t want to go.

It’s not like the bondage bunny who always needs to be untied so she can pee. Occasionally its a given, just like shit pee happens, preferably not anywhere near me or my rope once again NMK. Sometimes its unavoidable. There are the rare occasion where you have to ask is it getting tied up or being tied up and untied she (or he) is into? If its the topping from the bottom a hold it bitch might suffice nicely along with a little reenforcement with your reminder of choice.

Limits, and control. When Kink is foreplay and ultimately about sex perhaps do different rules apply? Maybe these aren’t thoughts or concerns that true lifestylers have.

Now taking into account that I’m not exactly the poster boy for an alternative life style ad perhaps I do subscribe to the RACK concept more than I realize. So I’m not a lifestyle D/s Guy, I don’t live in what would be considered a D/s relationship and by those standards I’m at best a fringe player. Which is just fine by me.

I rely on knowing the scene and my partner well enough to know their limits and trust them enough to play along as intended. If they scream some dutch word, lemon meringue pie (although I would suggest not picking a safe word that includes Tart in it should you go the baked goods route), or what ever the safe word of the day is. Stop being another lousy choice for a safe word, takes all the fun out of the word if they beg me to stop and I actually have to.

And yes at times I might play with an assortment of cruel little devices in sight, three pairs of EMT scissors with in a step just in case and no safe word. Along with the expectation that the only question that will get ask is “are those fresh batteries?”

No conclusions here just more to ponder I guess at the end of it all like so many things I think many of us are a mixture of both. That my friends in the beauty of making your own rules and playing your own way. Do what works.


About Malflic

Minor Demon, life long hedonist, sadist and general nerd. Women are my weakness and greatest addiction of choice followed by torrid love affair with coffee and caffeine. When not committing sins of the flesh I'm an unrepentant capitalist, avid reader, Star Wars, and B rate comedy movie geek.